Is This Good!?....10 POINTS!?

So I am writing a screenplay based upon the teen thriller "The Cheater" by R.L. Stine. It's about a girl who is stressed about a exam and she get a guy to take it for exchange for one date. But he wants a lot more than one date.

When you read this, please try to imagine the characters, and scenerey. Also, if you would like to give ideas for which actors and actresses could play these parts, please feel free to tell me! Anyways, here's the beginning.....

My Ideal Cast:

Carter Phillips….Amanda Seyfried or Shay Mitchell

Jill Bancroft….Troian Bellisario

Dan Mason….Scott Porter

Adam Messner….Keegan Allen

Judge Phillips….Gary Sinise or David Harbour

Mrs. Phillips….Charlotte Ross

Sheila Coss….Hayley Williams or Dakota Fanning

Ray Owens….Andrew James Allen

(Movie opens with a view of the spooky town of Shadyside. The camera follows a blue mustang up a hill and onto a bridge. The audience doesn’t know it yet, but the car belongs to ADAM MESSNER. A Smiths song is playing in his car. The camera then moves to view the river. The sun shines beautifully on the crystal river. Then slowly the title appears onto the screen: THE CHEATER. The title begins to disappear and then the screen goes black. While the screen is black we here sharp breathing and wheezing. It’s like this for a couple of seconds. And, then CARTER PHILLIPS appears onscreen running the track around the football field. CARTER is in P.E. class. She is ahead of everyone. Sweat drips down her face and her breathing is deeper. At this moment, flashbacks appear to CARTER, while she is running. The flashback shows CARTER in her math class, listening to her MALE TEACHER.)

TEACHER: Okay, for all of those that did poorly on their math achievement test. There will be a re-take this Saturday at eight o’clock at the Waynesbridge Junior College. It’s a good way to enhance your score. Hope to see some of you there. (the bell rings, and the flashback is over. The bell ring sound fades as it goes back to CARTER running. Her breaths are sharp again. Then she thinks of another flashback. This one involves CARTER and her father, JUDGE PHILLIPS. It takes place in her father’s office at her home.)

JUDGE: Carter, your math achievement test score came in the mail today…You made a 520. (CARTERS face is relieved. A 520 is not a bad grade. She smiles) Why are you smiling? A 520 is just not acceptable.

CARTER: Daddy, a 520 isn’t bad at all. It’s actually pretty good considering math is my worst class.

JUDGE: You can’t get into Princeton with a 520. You want to go to Princeton, don’t you? (CARTER rolls her eyes. She doesn’t really care about going to Princeton, but she does it for her father.) With this score, you can kiss Princeton goodbye.

CARTER: The teachers giving a re-take. This Saturday….at Waynesbridge Junior College.

JUDGE: Well, that’s good. You could use a re-take. A 520, is just unacceptable. I cannot have a daughter that fails to get into Princeton.

CARTER: (Mad, she stands to her feet) Daddy, you and I both know that math is my worst subject! Now, I’ll re-take the test but I cannot get higher than a 520….I studied so hard the first time and I did my best which was a 520!

JUDGE: Carter….I want you to go to your room and study…..This time, you will have to make a 700 or above to go to Princeton.

(His words fade, and the screen shows CARTER running across the finish line. The P.E. TEACHER clicks a stop watch on the side.)

P.E. TEACHER: Oh Carter, you ran it in 2 minutes 23 seconds (CARTER sighs). You’re the fastest one out here….your gonna have to do better than that (TEACHER walks off, and CARTER looks up in the bleachers to see her boyfriend, DAN MASON. She smiles.)

DAN: I don’t care what Mrs. Mulligan says, you’re the best runner out there.

CARTER: Awh, well thanks. (She kisses him).

DAN: You want to go to the Diner? (He puts his arm around her.)

CARTER: Oh, that sounds really good… (Suddenly, a girl comes up to CARTER. She is CARTERS best friend, JILL BANCROFT.) Hey Jill, me and Dan were just about to head to the Diner, wanna come?

JILL: Nah, I have a photography club meeting (She grumbles and starts to walk away). Call me later though (she says running off.)

CARTER: Okay, well I’m going to change….but I’ll meet you at the Diner right after school (they hug and kiss and the scenery changes. Now the screen shows CARTERS car riding along the bridge. We then see her pull into town and pull into the Diner’s parking lot. The camera is zoomed on her feet as she gets out of the car. We hear her car door slam and then it cuts showing her and DAN sipping milkshakes at the bar.)

DAN: That sucks that you have to take that math achievement test again. What did you make the first time?

CARTER” A 520, which isn’t that bad, considering how bad I am at math. Math is the only subject though, the rest I’m fine with.

DAN: Math’s not too hard.

CARTER: Maybe not to you, but for me it is. I mean it use to be just


CARTER: Maybe not to you, but for me it is. I mean it use to be just adding this number and see what you get; now it’s all ‘substitute this number and multiply it times pie, then divide that by 1000 (DAN laughs). I’m seriously going to fail this test…and then I won’t go to Princeton and my dad will be pissed. He said I had to make a 700 or over.

DAN: I made a 720.

CARTER: Damn…I wish you could take the test for me…. (We then see a close-up of a worker. The worker at the bar is ADAM MESSNER.)

DAN: Oh no, No Carter. No.

CARTER: Ah, come on Dan. Carter could be a boys name….and all you’d have to do is go to Waynesbridge for like an hour, take the test, and leave. It’ll be a piece of cake.

DAN: No, Carter I’m not helping you cheat! (He is very astounded, because CARTER hardly ever cheats).

CARTER: Oh Dan, you know I’m only joking….

DAN: Okay good….Anyways, I better be going (He slaps a ten dollar bill on the bar. ADAM stars in their direction. He looks at CARTER and DAN notices

Update 2:

and whispers to CARTER.) That freak is staring at you….

CARTER: (ADAM looks away) that’s Adam Messner…He goes to our school. He dates that weird girl Sheila Coss.

DAN: Oh yeah, well be careful. Love you (he kisses her on the cheek, gets up and leaves. ADAM notices DAN leaving and walks over to CARTER. CARTER stares at him like he’s a freak.)

ADAM: I’ll do it.

CARTER: Do what?

ADAM: I’ll take your math achievement test for you (He smiles as CARTER thinks it over). Come on Carter, I’m the best math student at the school.

CARTER: I know, but I was joking when I said that.

ADAM: Oh no you weren’t. Listen, when I took my test, I went to Waynesbridge and they don’t even make you show I.D. So, I wouldn’t be caught.

CARTER: You don’t even know me….

ADAM: No, I know a lot about you Carter….That’s why I wanna help you out. The test will only take me an hour….tops.

CARTER: That sounds good and all, but why would you do that for me?

ADAM: The way I see it….I’ve got something you wan

Update 3:

want-and you’ve got something I want.

CARTER: W-what is it? What do you want?

ADAM: You have to go out with me….One date.

CARTER: One date? Only one? That’s not so bad, but what about you girlfriend Sheila?

ADAM: What Sheila doesn’t know won’t hurt her….We’ll do the date this Saturday….the day of the test.

CARTER: Okay….No wait! Me and Dan have a date that night.

ADAM: Break it off.

CARTER: What? No! I can’t.

ADAM: Listen Carter, do you want me to take the test or not?

CARTER: Fine, I’ll do it. But you have to promise me that you’ll do your best and get over a 700 score.

ADAM: I promise, okay? (ADAM’S boss sticks out his head from the kitchen door)

BOSS: Adam! Get back to work! I’m not paying you to sit around and flirt (CARTER laughs).

CARTER: I got to go anyways, but thank you. Thank you SO much….this really means a lot to me.

ADAM: See you Saturday night. I’ll pick you up at 7.

CARTER: No! Don’t come to my house. Meet me at the corner of Village Hills and Mission

Update 4:

Street, you know where that is?

ADAM: Yeah I do….Oh and Carter, don’t dress up like a North Hill’s princess…We’re going it my world Saturday night.

CARTER: (Offended that ADAM called her a North Hills Princess) Okay, see you then.

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Spell-check, work on your grammar, and worry about the actors later. Most screenplays don't even get optioned for production. That's the harsh truth.

  • 1 decade ago

    You must be very careful: I've never read or even heard of the story

    you've chosen to base your screenplay on. But, you cannot get a

    story of any sort published if it is too close to the published story

    that you're basing yours on.

    If the publishing house where you submit it senses it is too close,

    then they'll reject it. (And the only way to submit a screenplay is

    to go through a liscened agent.) But, the only place that will accept

    a screenplay is a motion picture studio; no publishing house will --

    not even one you're willing to pay to publish it.

    If you copy too very closely anyone's published story, novel or their

    screenplay, it's what's known as "plagiarism" -- and that is a federal


    Source(s): Personal knowledge & common sense
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