Amber
Lv 4
Amber asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 9 years ago

17 and Pregnant, but don't feel ready to be a mother? PLEASE READ!! NEEDS HELP DESPERATELY!!?

Im 17 (about to turn 18) and Im pregnant. I been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. I live in a dorm at my school, and am considered an adult. I been on birth control for a few months, but I took it at all different times and sometimes forgot to take it due to my crazy school schedule.

Well, Im pregnant. When I first found out I was so scared to tell my grandma. I wanted an abortion and finish school. I eventually told my family, and they were against the abortion. I was happy and wanted to keep the baby. Since then, I spend all my money on baby stuff (diapers, bottles, wipes etc) but Im really scared. I been selling candy from door to door for 8 hours in 96 degree weather trying to prepare for my baby. Its so hard being 10 weeks pregnant.

I live in Fl and its so over populated. You cant get a job unless you speak both spanish and english and get NO help. My boyfriend has been trying to get a job for 2 years now trying EVERYTHING. Every program you can think of. I fill out at least 20 applications in his name a day, and so does he but he gets denied for not being bilingual. I made the decision to move to Colorado because better school, job opportunity's, cheaper rent, and family. Im so stressed trying to find the money to get up there. My family is to broke and Im starting to lose hope. I grew up with a drug addicted mother and want to do better for my child.

I don't know what to do. Im at wits ends. I just want to cry. Anybody have any suggestions or places that may be able to help? What should I do? I don't feel ready to be a mother.

P.S. Adoption is not for me.

11 Answers

Relevance
  • 9 years ago
    Best Answer

    Hi! Well, first off, you seem like a very mature seventeen year old. To handle this much responsibitliy with such bravery and trying to provide for your child. I know how scared you must be and I believe that you can do this! Moving is probably the best thing to do and you are now starting your own life. The most important thing right now is to figure everything out. I would recommend looking for a job up in Colorado. Try to start saving your money, because kids are big money soakers haha. I would also recommend staying in school. It's hard to do, but you would be benefiting yourself and your child in the long run. You said you had family in Colorado, maybe they can give you a place to stay for awhile, while you are getting everything in order. Being a teenage mother is a difficult thing, but you can do this. Just believe in yourself. You are already taking such a big step into improving your life and your baby's life. Do not stop doing that. This will be a huge stress, financially, emotionally and physically. But have faith and you will get through this difficult time. Good luck! If you ever need to talk, even though we dont know eachother, I will listen! (i'm eighteen and i know some of the stresses you are going through) :)

  • ?
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    Part of your feeling at wit's end is your hormones. They will even out if you keep the pregnancy. What you need to do is calmly sit down with your boyfriend and talk about it. Talk about your future plans, and how the baby will come into those plans. What will you do about finishing college? Who has been paying for it? Where is that money coming from? Will it continue if you have a baby? If you move to another state? Will your boyfriend move too? Is there work there? Will your family be there to support you emotionally and financially?

    Another issue is your not feeling ready to be a mother. If you really feel that well, you are still early enough to have a safe, simple abortion. Good luck on whatever you decide to do.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Hun I didn't feel ready either, It comes naturally after you have your baby so don't stress about that part! Just save as much as you can to get up there look for an apartment and find jobs you have time you have about 28 weeks thats 7 months to try and earn at least 3 months of rent and that ggive you 3 months to find a job I would plan on for a lil more do some research see how much it cost to live there ect....you will be okay I promise look for god for help he will always guide you in the right direction always whether you like it or not :).

  • Ben H
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    Maybe you should go to public assistance. That's what it is for. Get back in school. Do what you have to do. Do it for the child. Its not about you and the father anymore. Sorry, its time to grow up now. I had to do it, so did most everyone else. I know its tough, but I had to tell my son the same thing. He was in the same position a couple of years ago. He is doing fine now, and the proud father of a wonderful little 2 year old boy.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Alycia
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    You still have 7 months to figure it out, sounds like you're doing pretty good already and have a good head on your shoulders. In the end everything will work out fine. I didin't feel ready to be a mother but turns out I was, I think that's a good sign though because a lot of girls who get pregnant so young are expecting it to be easy and fun, and it is fun but it dosen't mean it's easy.

    Congrats!

    Source(s): 18 with a 6 month old.
  • 9 years ago

    I don't like this P.S. Adoption is not for you? Adoption isn't about you it's about your child. You said so yourself, you're broke, your boyfriend can't get a job, you think wandering around in Florida while you're 10 weeks pregnant is hard, wait until you are about to go into labor or have to carry your child with you, and you aren't for abortion. Honestly, you should do adoption. Your child would be better off (I am not saying you'd be a horrible mother or anything like that but you said yourself you don't feel ready to be a mother). Do you want to have this child and always struggle to meet ends and worry about bills and providing for your child or would you rather feel better about your child having a nice home where the family can provide for your child and raise it as their own and love it just as much?

  • Adoption is about what's best for your child. Not you. I just wanted to get that out there. Second maybe do jobs for your neighbors? That's all I got.

  • 9 years ago

    well i understand that you don't have much money and are trying very hard to make money there's programs out there where they could help you ... like try applying for medicaid for pregnancy and w.i.c w.i.c help you with monthly food that helps you get the right nutrition for you and the baby so that helps you out a little on the food section medicaid could help you on like doctor visit etc for the mean time while you're bf trying to find a job and also try applying for housing :]

  • 9 years ago

    Call Birthright they have support and resources 1-800-550-4900

  • 9 years ago

    im glad that yu didn have an abortion:) but hang in there an try your best for your baby. you should of thought of these things before you had sex

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.