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Anonymous asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 10 years ago

do you have a right to do anything you want to your own body without asking your spouse's permission?

should a married dude or chick need to ask their spouse's permission before doing any of the following things to his/her own body?

1. masturbate

2. deliberately gain or lose weight

3. begin smoking or using recreational drugs

4. get plastic surgery, liposuction, breast augmentation or pec implants

5. get a tattoo

6. get tattoos all over their face

7. sharpen their teeth to points and wear a bone throught their nose

8. get a vasectomy or tube ligation

9. get neutered

10. get a sex change


the questions are hypothetical, of course. i asked it 'cause many religions teach when you get married your bodies become the joint property of you and your spouse together. but many rights advocates say exactly the opposite, that your body remains your own to do as you wish. i was wondering about the range of opinions from the folks here.

Update 2:

vilexxxg, many of these examples were intended to be "stupid" as you put it. the point is that it's easy for folks to generalize what should be right or wrong based simply on principles. but it gets much harder to hold to your principles when someone shows you specific examples, especially when those examples are extreme or crazy sounding.

Update 3:

the reason i included #9 is 'cause that's a real situation faced everyday by many folks with certain diseases like cancer of the genitals. in particular dudes with testicular cancer often have to choose between saving their own lives and ending their sex life or keeping their sex life intact and probably dying. the same applies for chicks with breast or ovarian cancer but not to the same extent.

Update 4:

my own opinion is that when a couple get's married they're agreeing to keep themselves healthy and attractive for their mate. any decision which can affect their marriage has to be agreed on mutually between them. that includes anything which could change their appearance or affect their sex lives or ability to have children. your mate should have veto power over any of these decisions. and if you go against your mate's wishes you're breaking the marriage contract you agreed to. that even includes masturbation if it's causing you to lose interest in your partner. the only exception i would make is a serious health decision like testicular or ovarian cancer. if removing your testicles or breast or ovaries will save your life that should be your own ultimate decision regardless of what your mate says.

Update 5:

thanks all for your answers. it seems you all really got into this question. of course any answer you give is a matter of personal opinion; there's really no right or wrong answer here. so i'm leaving it to the y/a community to choose best answer. thanks and don't forget to vote.

19 Answers

  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'd need my wife's permission for all these things although I wouldn't want to do any of them anyway.

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  • 10 years ago

    A person may have the right to do all these things to themselves without asking permission, however for most spouses they may be very hurt they weren't at least asked their opinion. In actuality, it's not about "asking permission" it's about having respect for the other person, and if you are a couple, it's no longer all about what you want to do. Any changes in the dynamics while in a relationship affect the relationship so you must be willing to handle the consequences that would come from doing some of these things, especially if they are radically out of character for you. It depends on the couple which of these would be out of line, and some might be deal breakers for the entire relationship. For instance, in my case (married 24 years) if my spouse decided to begin using recreational drugs or have a sex change I would not stay. The point is, when married, you care enough about the person to want to discuss these things before doing them.

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  • 10 years ago

    A spouse's prefernces should certainly be consulted in most of these things. I wouldn't think masturbation would be a problem for most people, I don't think anyone minds much if their spouse masturbates in the absence of their partner.

    Weight loss or gain may be of more importance to some spouses than others. It is probably something you shoul discuss.

    Smoking is something many people have a strong aversion to nowadays, so it probably is something you would need to talk about. And certainly the use of drugs would be a major matter for most people I should think.

    Anything that alters your appearance drastically, like plastic surgery, tattoos, and sharpening teeth should certainly be discussed. My husband finds tattoos utterly disgusting for instance, he would be revolted if I got one.

    Vasectomies and tubal ligations are major matters that should certainly be talked over with your spouse.

    A sex change would be an enormous step to take, and I would think would not be something most spouses would welcome.

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  • 10 years ago

    There is a fundamental conflict between feminist laws on abortion, family, marriage and divorce vs. traditional biblical covenant of marriage. The feminist chant 'my body, my choice' conflicts with the biblical covenant of marriage that holds 'two bodies cleave together as one'; the biblical concept has each spouse submit thier bodies to the other, so that it is no longer 'my body' but instead, 'our body'

    Most religious marriage ceremonies reflect a 'oneness' concept, contract, covenant or agreement that is reversed by the feminist biased civil law of divorce courts. In effect, the laws of the USA nullify or void the marriage contract before it is even consumated. The biblical alternative would be 'our body, our choice' regarding abortion and the other issues raised in the question.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    1. No. Neither gender needs to ask.

    2. No.

    3. Yes.

    4. It should be discussed, but permission isn't needed.

    5. Depends on where it is. Myself I would threaten divorce if it was anywhere visible, no joke.

    6. Hell yes. If that person is going to be looking at his/her spouse's face for the rest of their lives it needs to be mutual agreement.

    7. Double hell yes.

    8. Yes.

    9. Er... removal of sex organs? Triple hell yes.

    10. Yes.

    Although no one really needs permission to do anything and can do whatever they choose, when you're married everything changes. At least it should. "If you don't discuss 60% of everything that happens in your lives there's an 60% chance of failure." - my extremely wise mother

    Don't listen to 'The Man' because that is the writings of a wife beater :|

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  • 10 years ago

    1. masturbate: who really cares.

    2. deliberately gain or lose weight: no

    3. begin smoking or using recreational drugs: it would be nice to give a warning.

    4. get plastic surgery, liposuction, breast augmentation or pec implants: nice to give a warning

    5. get a tattoo: no

    6. get tattoos all over their face: a warning would be nice.

    7. sharpen their teeth to points and wear a bone throught their nose: again, a warning would be nice

    8. get a vasectomy or tube ligation: no

    9. get neutered: no

    10. get a sex change: Now a warning would be a nice thing to do! lol seriously.

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  • 10 years ago

    If a person didn't discuss a major change in their body with his/her spouse, that is irresponsible.

    There is a legal requirement for vasectomies and ligations. The other spouse actually has to sign a consent form. When my friend was still married, he told me it was required when he had a vasectomy.

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  • sam
    Lv 6
    10 years ago

    You can do anything you want, yes. However having certain of those procedures done and not informing your spouse would be unethical imo e.g. sterilisation, especially if having kids has ever been an option in your future. Also the person shouldn't be surprised if their spouse turns around and leaves them in the case of any drastic changes.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    A man or woman should be able to anything to his or her own body if they want to. Keep in mind though, not everything is legal to do, like illegal drugs or other things of things like that. Also, some things just are not healthy, such as smoking. Sometimes, having an opinion is nice, but if it is about you, is safe and legal, and is something you for sure want, go for it!

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    No, the don't NEED to. For numbers 8-10, I would definitely talk to my spouse before I did it, and if he didn't like it, then I'd rethink it, and if he did like it I'd definitely feel better about it. As for the other things, no.

    Men and women shouldn't be asking their spouses for permission to do anything. I don't want my husband to take the place of my dad and I'm sure my husband won't want me to take the place of his mom.

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  • 10 years ago

    You have a right to do anything to your own body. Your spouse has a right to get a divorce if they can't handle it.

    Many doctors won't do sterilization procedures for married people without consent of a spouse, which I find kind of creepy.

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