Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 9 years ago

do you have a right to do anything you want to your own body without asking your spouse's permission?

should a married dude or chick need to ask their spouse's permission before doing any of the following things to his/her own body?

1. masturbate

2. deliberately gain or lose weight

3. begin smoking or using recreational drugs

4. get plastic surgery, liposuction, breast augmentation or pec implants

5. get a tattoo

6. get tattoos all over their face

7. sharpen their teeth to points and wear a bone throught their nose

8. get a vasectomy or tube ligation

9. get neutered

10. get a sex change


the questions are hypothetical, of course. i asked it 'cause many religions teach when you get married your bodies become the joint property of you and your spouse together. but many rights advocates say exactly the opposite, that your body remains your own to do as you wish. i was wondering about the range of opinions from the folks here.

Update 2:

the reason i included #9 is 'cause that's a real situation faced everyday by many folk's with certain diseases like cancer of the genitals. in particular dudes with testicular cancer often have to choose between saving their own lives and ending their sex life or keeping their sex life intact and probably dying. the same applies for chicks with breast or ovarian cancer but not to the same extent.

Update 3:

my own opinion is that when a couple get's married they're agreeing to keep themselves healthy and attractive for their mate. any decision which can affect their marriage has to be agreed on mutually between them. that includes anything which could change their appearance or affect their sex lives or ability to have children. your mate should have veto power over any of these decisions. and if you go against your mate's wishes you're breaking the marriage contract you agreed to. that even includes masturbation if it's causing you to lose interest in your partner. the only exception i would make is a serious health decision like testicular or ovarian cancer. if removing your testicles or breast or ovaries will save your life that should be your own ultimate decision regardless of what your mate says.

Update 4:

thanks all for your answers. it seems you all really got into this question. of course any answer you give is a matter of personal opinion; there's really no right or wrong answer here. so i'm leaving it to the y/a community to choose best answer. thanks and don't forget to vote.

23 Answers

  • .
    Lv 7
    9 years ago
    Best Answer

    Your body, your's courtesy to see how your partner feels about such things, but the ultimate decision is yours...

    Masturbating...that's not changing your body, just touching it...anyone who has an issue with you touching yourself, has issues and insecurities THEY need to deal with...I'd never ask anyone's permission to self pleasure (that's ridiculous)

    Weight...again, up to you...however you should be aware a drastic change may affect the level of physical attraction your parter has for you, as well as a concern for your health if you choose to become over or under weight to an extreme...

    Smoking/drugs could also affect your partner's health as well as being a financial drain...and some drugs can change your behavior, so there could be some legitimate issues with that...not to mention, the potential health ramifications...

    Plastic surgery, tattoos, teeth sharpening go back to the possible change in physical attraction that your partner has for you, but those things are all your would think for those types of situations though that often the conversation would likely have come up prior to marriage (that a desire existed) and so might not be something that is sprung on your partner out of the blue...however again, it's their choice ...

    Sterilization...the issue of kids or more kids should be discussed prior to marriage, which would reduce the chance of sterilization being an issue...however sometimes people change their mind and end up not wanting kids (or more kids) even if they thought they did want them at some point...having kids really needs to be a mutual decision so if one does want and one does not, there are going to be issued whether one party gets "fixed" or not...that relationship may not last if they aren't in agreement on procreation... in castrated? That's a guy's right but it would be a dealbreaker for me...if I want to be with someone and not have sex, I'll hang out with my friends or family...

    Sex change...again, it's a person's right to do that...but it would end the marriage (for me)...if I married someone who all of the sudden decided he wanted to be a woman, I'd wish him well and we'd part ways (maybe stay friends)...a person should do what is right for them, and what would be right for me (if becoming female was right for him) would not include being married to a "former" man...

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Not necessarily ask permission, but have a discussion on...

    1. masturbate- no.

    2. deliberately gain or lose weight- eh. depends.

    3. begin smoking or using recreational drugs- yes.

    4. get plastic surgery, liposuction, breast augmentation or pec implants-yes.

    5. get a tattoo-no.

    6. get tattoos all over their face-yes.

    7. sharpen their teeth to points and wear a bone throught their nose-yes.

    8. get a vasectomy or tube ligation-yes.

    9. get neutered-yes.

    10. get a sex change-yes.

    And they are only yes because they can negatively affect your relationship...

  • 9 years ago

    I think you should talk to your spouse. But if you have your own money and pay for it yourself I don't see why they have to really be involved. There are exceptions such as I think the sex change, neutered, and something as expensive as plastic surgery. the first two i would think for obvious reasons but I will state them anyway. the other may still want to have children and the sex change because one that is a complete body make over and two COSTLY. Plastic surgery also goes under cost. It can be very expensive and should be discussed. I have no problem with masturbation as people may have needs when the other is unwilling to join. Loose weight I think it doesn't matter though I do not know anyone who wanted to deliberately gain a significant amount of weight.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    IN MY OPINION.......... (Yes means you need permission, no means you are free to do as you want without them.)

    1. Yes.

    2. No, but you should still discuss it, is it for some type of career? Ultimately, it's no right of theirs to stop you though.

    3. Yes, most especially with the recreational drugs.

    4. Yes.

    5. No, but you should still discuss this too.

    6. YES!

    7. Yes.

    8. Yes, yes, YES.

    9. Yes. They offically can't have sex with you anymore! You are doing something that effects your happiness and your marriage OMG!

    10. No, but this most definately needs to be discussed, as your sex life, and pretty much all aspects of life are going to change.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    1/ for sure- what sane person doesn't?

    2/ if you want- but beware the consequences!

    3/ smoking- no- it'll kill you and you know it. It's purposeful slow suicide- not acceptable. Recreational drugs- to be discussed and agreed upon.

    4/ no- not unless required due to illness or disfiguration.

    5/ yes

    6/ well, if 5 is yes, I have to say yes to 6- would not be my choice

    7/ no- that's just silly. You need your teeth as nature made them. Bone through your nose? Well, maybe a clip on to see how you like it first.

    8/ no- there is an agreement regarding having children so they must agree not to any more.

    9/ all pets should be neutered.

    10/ no- I married a man. If he needs this change, he needs to let me move on.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Yes to 4, 6, 7, 8, and 10.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Permission? No. You don't get PERMISSION from your spouse. Are we talking about a discussion and coming to a mutual decision?

    1. No

    2. Yes

    3. Yes

    4. Yes

    5. Yes

    6. Yes

    7. Yes

    8. Yes

    9. Yes

    10. Yes

  • 9 years ago

    1. no 2. no 3. yes 4. depends who is expected to pay for it 5. no 6. no, but why would they want to do that? 7. yes 8. no, but at least discuss it. 9. yes 10. YES

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    1. If it's chronic ye

    2. I informed my husband that I wanted to lose 30 pounds and ensured that it would be okay with him.

    3. Yes

    4. Yes

    6. Yes (tattoos are a lot of money)

    7. Yes

    8. Yes

    9. Yes

    10. Yes

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    masturbating is normal at least. to do the others must be a joke. Gaining a bunch of weight is OK when you are pregnant. Take care of yourself.I had a tubal ligation and i discussed it with my husband Because at age 37 I am diabetic and for me to be pregnant would put my life in danger.

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