young parents VS older parents....?

ok so there are a lot of stereo types of teen mothers and they often get looked down upon. however, i had my son at 18 and i think i do just as good as the average parent of any age. he has a stable home, im married, i graduated, i work 30+ hrs a week making good money, i don't smoke or drink, i don't party, i don't like leaving him with babysitters. (my mom babysits only when my husband and i both work and our schedules overlap), i love spending time with him and he has everything he needs.

ok so where i work i see parents/families of all kinds and i don't understand what people are thinking when i see women in there late 30's or even early 40's with babies/small children. these children are more likely to be born with problems such as downs syndrome because of their mothers age. kids like to be active and it is harder to be as physically active when you are in your 40, 50, and 60's than say your 20's. there for its harder to go out and play sports with your 12 yr old boy if your older. if you start having a family at say 37 you will be 55 when your first child will graduate high school. you may not live to see your grandchildren grow up and definitely wont see your great grandchildren..

what are your thoughts on this? i feel it is not fair that young parents get stereo typed as "bad" parents when older parents can give their children health problems and cant be as active with them and wont be around as long to see them grow older....


rick: not cry or wining.. just soemthing i was thinking about and realized. just wondering if other people thought about it that way and what age group would be considered bedt to have children..

Update 2:

i respect everyones decision on when to have children and whats best for their life. im not trying to be judgemental against older parents. i have just noticed that people tend to single out young parents and think badly of them, however their can be problems with kids born to parents of any age

Update 3:

snarkasaurus: thanks for saying that i am an exception to the normal young parent. i do have bills to pay and a have credit cards but no debt with them. i am educated and my son is actually advanced for his age. i work with him and teach him things instead of sitting him in front of a tv like others do. and for my family i had my great great parents around. one set passed away when i was 6 and the other set when i was 14. my grandma is 60 yrs old. she has 10 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. my other grandma is 70 with 17 g/c and 2 g/g/c. so i guess it is the norm. for my family.

6 Answers

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Dear Miss Older parents can handle children better then younger parents the reason is the older parents have more patients then the younger people due today the young parents just loose there patients way to quickly and get pushed over the edge and loose the cool faster then the older parents do the older ones know how to handle children better OK when any thing happens the older parents are ready for all the little one tricks of the trade the young ones do not so sorry just a proving fact OK back when my mother married my father my mother was 16 years old and my dad was 26 i am the youngest at 35 the other too are way older the me one by 8 years the other by 6 years so I was the last my mom could not have any more at 24 if she could with the rates now she would if she could with the rate of men and women can have one up to 74 women 66 if in very good health there was a lady in London in the U.K that had one at 66 and one at 70 just goes to show what can happen OK my father came from a really big family of 12 back when he is the only one left in his family

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It really just depends on the person. Some people are great parents at a young age, some people are better parents when they're older, and some people should never be parents at all regardless of the age they would decide to start at. Being a young mom was the right choice for me. I love the fact that at 24 I have been with my husband for 8 years and our family is complete. I personally could not even imagine having a small child in my mid 40s-by that time I want to be retired, relaxing in my garden, and sewing little outfits for my grandchildren [I plan on retiring at 45, at which point my kids will be 22, 23, and 27]. I want to spend the last 40 years of my life laying on the beach with my husband wearing my "world's hottest grandma" t-shirt, watching my children and my grandchildren and my great granchildren play in the sand and set up a BBQ, not chasing down a toddler repeating "no-no-no-no-no" and worrying I'm going to slip a disk or something. I made the right choice for me-and I respect other people's right to make the best choice for them, even if it's very different than what I decided.

  • 1 decade ago

    My parents got married after four years of college and another four of grad school. They waited five years after getting married to have me (I'm the oldest). My mom was 33 and my dad was 37 when I was born. They got to build their careers and travel the world, and then they settled down to have a family. There is little concrete proof that children of older parents tend to have disabilities. In my personal life, it seems to be the opposite. My best friend's mom is a special ed teacher, and I went to a picnic her class was having, and not a single mother there could have been under 40 (the kids were ages 8-11). I go to a highly selective International Baccalaureate high school (about 1 in 9 applicants are accepted into the program), and I don't know anyone whose mom is under 45, and most of us, by sheer happenstance, are the oldest children in our families (I'm going into my sophomore year, so we're all ages 14-15). My dad is currently 51, and he frequently wrestles and plays football with my nine-year-old brother. Older parents tend to have more education; My parents both have master's degrees and each makes six figures a year. I counted over 13 spelling and/or grammatical errors in your question and the . Children who have educated parents are much more likely to be highly educated and successful. You say you make "good money". Do you have to pay mortgage bills? Do you have any credit card debt? Are you going to be able to pay for your son to have a college education. My parents don't have to worry about any of that. Most people don't live to see their great grandchildren, it's not the norm. Also, how do you know that those women in their early 40's gave birth to their children. I know several people who adopted later in life, and are excellent parents. Truthfully, most teen mothers are not like you; you are definitely an exception. Most are unmarried and make little money.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sadly enough you are just as judgmental as those you condemn. I chose to wait until I was 30 before I had my daughter, for one, I wanted to be in a committed relationship with the father of my future child(ren) and for two, I was working and enjoying life and wanted to do my thing first, I wanted to be able to look back and have no regrets. I have met plenty of mothers who had their children young and who feel they missed out on something and would tell their kids so.

    I am 33 now, physically fit and active with my daughter and quite capable to take care of her, and if it's in my future, there will be more children to join our lives.

    I know I am a better parent now than I would have been at 20, because my outlook on life has changed immensely since then. So while you don't think it's fair to be judged for being a young mother, don't turn around and judge others for being older parents. Both have their upsides and downsides.

    Source(s): Happy I waited.
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  • Zuzu
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Josh's mom,

    As an "older" parent (I delivered my daughter when I was 43), I laughed when I read your question. I think it's in people's nature to feel what they're doing is "right" or "best" and you, just as much as your older counter-parts, need to find fault with other people's choices as a way to justify their own.

    That's said, I think the BEST time in your life to have a child is when you plan for one and you feel you are emotionally, financially and spiritually prepared to be a good parent. That has nothing to do with "age group" but more to do with the individual.

    From the way you describe yourself, it sounds like you are pleased with your parenting and your choices. If I, on the other hand, would have had a child at 18 (God help that child!) I would have been a TERRIBLE parent. I was drinking and experimenting with all kinds of things, I was indulging myself in a wild collegiate experience, I was traveling the world with a backpack, in short, I was more concerned with my own personal experiences and growth and I would have resented a baby for interfering with that. I was selfish and self consumed with my own "stuff" and I didn't have much room in my life for the demands of a child. I don't regret my choices for a moment. I have a rich and lovely catalog of memories from those experiences that helped shape my life in wonderful ways. I went on to establish myself in a fulfilling and socially meaningful career where I excelled in my field and was well rewarded.

    So in contrast, I started my family in my 40's. My child is perfectly healthy. I have the luxury because of my choices to be a stay at home mom and I'm outside with my girl daily, hiking, swimming, running, biking, etc. I don't feel like I'm lacking energy and in contrast to many of the younger mom's at the playground I don't feel like I'm "missing out" on a career because of my child, I don't have angst about "what I'm going to be." Like you, I feel very content with the choices I've made and how I'm able to provide for my child and my ability to provide for my child as a loving parent.

    Personally I hang out with both older and younger moms. There are good older moms and not so good older moms.. there are good younger moms and not so good younger moms... I'm sure you must know young moms who, frankly, suck at the motherhood thing too. It's not about age, it's about what you're ready for.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Stop your damn crying! Do you want some cheese with that wine?

    Source(s): ^_^
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