Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 10 years ago

Leaving kid in countryside child endangerment?

So I'm a 16 year old male and this weekend my mom and I were having an argument in the car on the way home from visiting family. We were about 40 miles from home when she yelled at me "I will pull over and let you out!" She did not leave me, but I decided to note down the threat on the back of my bookmark (I was attempting to read during drive). At the bottom of the note I wrote "Child abuse?" because I was furious at her and wanted to emphasize the purpose for writing the note. She found the note in my book on Monday and proceeded to explain to me she meant she would let me you so I could think about my actions, and then I would be let back in the car. Supposedly that would have been a form of punishment. Then today she revoked the privilege of going to visit my cousins next week because she now thinks I have been noting things like that for a long time (I haven't - just this time the threatened action would have been serious) and will continue to do so there.

Note- My parents are divorced and my dad has not got along well with my mom or any of the above-mentioned family. I am the only one left with a good relationship with him and I am on his side even though I live with my mom (moving to live with dad this month :) )

My View:

- I noted that down because I thought is was a very serious threat and I believe the action could be a crime.

- Her day-after explanation doesn't cut it because she had a couple hours between reading the note and talking with me to make an excuse in the hope the threat isn't brought to light (the intent of the threat (leave me or let me back in) would determine whether or not it is criminal).

- Revoking the visit is totally uncalled for.

The Big Question:

I would like opinions from others about leaving a 16 year old male 40 miles from home being child endangerment or another similar crime. Helpful links would be greatly appreciated. I feel it would be criminal but I would like opinions because me being a fully grown, fully capable person the situation is different than if I was an infant, yet I am still a minor under her guardianship.

Thank you for the help and sorry it was so long!!

12 Answers

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  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    oh dear,

    first let me say that I'm so sorry you and your mom are having such escalated and heated arguments. I'm a girl, so its not the same kind of relationship per se, but I had a very contentious relationship with both of my parents at your age (they weren't divorced then, but are now). I think that the relative criminality of your mom leaving you that far from home may be besides the point because she clearly wouldn't have ever done that (actually left you). I think the bigger issue here is that you are obviously a very intelligent young man and your mom seems to have reached a level of frustration in arguing with you to where she has resorted to ridiculous empty threats. once I got older and stopped knowing everything (like I thought I did at 16 ;) ) I managed to understand a lot more about my parents and vice versa. we have managed to come to mutual understanding about how difficult things were in my teenage years, and I came to understand that they were just people, trying the best they know how to deal with a smart, sassy, precocious teenager with a strong will and slightly premature desire to be an adult. It sounds like you have a similar situation going on with your mom. let me just say that I am so sorry that you're in this situation, especially with divorced parents, and ESPECIALLY with a mom who seems to lose her temper and make threats. This is not responsible parenting, and it seems that she is letting her frustration and anger (possibly even anger about things that have nothing to do with you?) get the better of her. It is very hard to be the kid in a disagreement like this, because when she throws out outrageous threats like that, or says things like "I'm the parent," then you have no way of countering. It isn't fair at all. and let me say something that only a therapist was willing to say to me at the time: you might very well be the one who is right in this situation. Obviously I don't know the details or history, but you seem to be a very rational and level-headed guy. So, its very possible that you need outside help in getting your mom (or both parents) to listen to reason. the only thing that helped me at the time was seeing a therapist who helped me tremendously in learning how to deal with my irrational/immature parents. and helped me to understand that I can't expect them (or myself or anyone else for that matter) to be perfect. It won't solve anything for you to threaten your mom back (which is likely how she perceived your note about child abuse). This will only cause her to become angry, defensive, and even frightened (if she thinks she could lose you). Instead, learn how to harness that sharp intellect of yours. stay calm, and try to be patient with your situation. It will not be long till you are out of the house and no longer subject to her rules. I hope this advice is helpful to you, and that you and your mom can get through this difficult time together. Hopefully, you will come out on the other side of teenager-hood with a much better understanding of each other and a loving adult relationship that will only improve over time.

    best of luck!

  • 10 years ago

    The Big Question here is what makes U think that U are a fully grown, fully capable person? If that is what U think, then why aren't U Emancipated & living on your own...you are so grown and mature? And, what makes U think that mature people argue w/their parents? Mature people understand that people have different views & that is OK. They don't sit in the car & fight...hoping to get their own way by doing such!

    And as far as her leaving you on the side of the road, hate to burst your bubble, but that is perfectly legal! Because, as a mother, I know that she would not have let U there long! She would have gone up the road a few feet (or yards) and let U think about what U had said! Nothing wrong or illegal w/putting your "fully grown, fully capable" son outside the car & allowing him to think about things! Y is it that everything that a parent does nowadays, U kids consider "abuse"? It just leads to the epidemic that we have in this (and many other) countries. Kids thinking that their parents can not discipline them...so they can do whatever (and say whatever) they like! My 13yr old tried that sh^t on me! She called the cops because she got a crack in the mouth for calling her sister a b^tch! The cops came & talked to all 3 of us (my 13yr old, her younger sister 10 & me). They told my 13yr old that what I did was in NO WAY abuse! And I had the right, as a parent, to discipline her in any manner that I see fit as long as I am not abusive! And a smack across the mouth 4 what she said is not abuse!

    Maybe U need to get off the "abuse" thing and move onto what U did wrong there! What gives U the right to sit there & fight w/ur mom? Or is that your right as a teenager?

  • 10 years ago

    (I feel it would be criminal but I would like opinions because me being a fully grown, fully capable person the situation is different than if I was an infant)

    you certainly don't sound like a 'full grown fully capable' person to me

    did your mother or has your mother ever left you in a field on your own ? and your 16 and a male its not like your a young girl been left all on her own what time of day was it ?

    I have threatened to punch some ones face in before but i didn't its a threat that's all. I think you seriously need to grow up and realise what a threat is and treat your mother with a little more respect.

    Good luck in life it sounds like you need it

    Source(s): just my oppion
  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    "Child" endangerment? You're 16. There are 16 year olds in the world who are married with kids. And what's the "endangerment"? You would have had to walk to the nearest telephone and call someone to come get you? And that didn't even happen...

    Someone said once that a kid who shouts 'abuse!' over little things like that is not actually being abused.

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  • 10 years ago

    Oh Lord - have you ever heard the term "empty threat"?? You were on your mother's last nerve and you sound like a very exasperating child. She would have done you a favor by making good on her threat - maybe you would respect her a little more then. BTW - moving in with Daddy isn't going to change anything unless you change your obnoxious attitude. Your mother is probably counting the days....

  • 10 years ago

    It could be seen as neglect or endangerment if she had done it.

    She didn't do it, though, did she?

    It's OK to be mad at your mom. It's OK to want to live with your dad. And, it's OK to love them both, even if you are mad at either one of them.

    You don't have to make up abuse stories to justify your feelings. Keep it all real. The truth (about others -and- about yourself) is the only thing that will bring you to peace and good relationships in your life.

  • Em
    Lv 6
    10 years ago

    You have got to be kidding me.

    Kids these days have gone soft.

    How many time did my sister and I as kids hear "If you don't stop it right now I'm pulling over and making you get out," lol. Parents say things sometimes- I seriously doubt your mother had any intention of leaving you on the side of the road.

  • hsmom
    Lv 5
    10 years ago

    I bet she'll be glad when your little know it all a** is out of the house.

    I hope your dad is the type to slap the taste out of your mouth instead of just threating to do it.

    Oh BTW, I don't care if you report ME.

  • 2
    Lv 5
    10 years ago

    I don't think she was being serious.

    I've had the same threat to me a million times.

    You are taking it to seriously.

  • 10 years ago

    Why does it matter?

    She didn't do it, it was just a threat to make you behave and it worked.

    Behave yourself next time..

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