Was I Raped? (Long... Sorry)?
When i was 15 i was with my first boyfriend, he was 18. I have always found it romantic to lay naked next to someone you love, and at the time i thought i loved him. So one day, just before he graduated, we curled up together in his bed naked. He began telling me how he didn't want to go off to collage a virgin, (i was his first kiss and everything) and i made it very clear that i wasn't ready to have sex and that he probably will go to university a virgin so long as he's with me. I apologized, but let him know i simply wasn't ready. Not even 5 minutes later, he climbed on top of me trying to do it. I told him to stop and get off and he did. He apologized and went back to cuddling me. a few moments later he tried again... This is something he did pretty much every time we fooled around. If i told him no, he would keep trying to do stuff until i just gave up and let him (we had fooled around before, just not intercourse, he used to do it alot of with fingering and stuff like that) I kept saying to stop and he kept rolling over and saying he was sorry. I was a very shy person, even with him, and didn't like to stir the pot. Now that im older, i understand that i should have gotten up and left, but at the time i didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so i stayed and cuddled. The third time he tried, he didn't listen when i said to stop and he began to try and do it. I yelled at him that it hurt to much and told him to get off of me. he did listen for only a moment then tried again. when i finally yelled at him to get off the last time, i got up immediately and put my clothes back on. I told him that i promised my mom i would be home soon and asked him to drive me home. He seemed very angry at me, but drove me home anyway. The whole ride he kept asking if i was ok and i told him i was fine. When i got home i cried, and told him that night on the phone that i odnt want to do that again. and told him how upset i was and that i cried. he didn't understand why i was upset and i think he thought i also wanted to do it... how he thought this, i dont know.
A lot of people say it wasn't rape because even though i said no, i let it happen a few times before i finally got up and because i stayed with him after that and it didn't happen again. they also say i consented because i was the one whos idea it was to get naked even though it had nothing sexual at all behind it, i just liked the skin touching skin while cuddling (which i still enjoy with my current boyfriend). And lastly, people say, because he didn't break my hymn and i wasn't held down and forced, that it wasn't rape.
On the other side, people say that because i said no, multiple times, and asked him to stop multiple times, that it was rape, which i think.
For the record, this was 5 years ago and i have no intention of taking him to court for it. I also do not what to hear how it was stat rape, becuase i was under the age of concent, because when that happened the age of consent in canada was 14, and thats not the answer im looking for.
Do you think i was raped or do you think i consented?
Hopefully im not missing any info here.