Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

What should I do in this situation?

I am old enough to make my own decisions, and I have made many good and bad decisions ...in life.

I am a part-time graduate student with considerable amount of debt and not so solid financial situation. I don't have any solid job right-now just working on campus about 7-8 hours a week. I have worked in a company for 2 yrs but then I got laid off and ....

I also volunteer at a non-profit organization with their activities.

I have had hard time balancing my time inbetween things (Parents, Part-time job, school, volunteering, sports, gym, personal stuff, etc ) and thats where I screwed up the most.

In past 7-8 years I have changed my College major 3 times and ended up with a degree in Biology .... nothing very highly special. (but i tried bio-informatics, Pharmacy, PA, nursing etc. nothing really worked for me ...i kind of gave up after taking one class in each of them ...--- I MADE A MISTAKE OF GOING TO EXPENSIVE COLLEGE ...so I have a 60K of debt now ...which i can't pay without a proper job)

When i felt down or depressed I will go volunteer for my non-profit / spiritual organization doing differnt things for them .... and my parents keep thinking that i am just "GIVING UP"

I don't understand what to explain to them ...so then I started LYING TO THEM ... i KEPT LYING TO THEM...on and off.

I am not doing anything bad but ...it does take me LONGER THAN usual to achive something or finish somethings ....it TAKEs a bit more effort than a usual person ...

I can' take any NEGATIVE FEED BACKs from my parents aobut what I should do regarding my educational / career or personal decisions ..... so I just LIE to them ....if I am doing Volunteering or Helping out one of my friends or DOING something other than CAREER/ SCHOOL related ...I just lie ...i just tell them that I was studying ...

but i don't know how long i can keep doing this .... AT THIS POINT I CAN'T GO BACK AND TELL THEM THE TRUTH ABOUT MY PAST 6 Months Activities ......thats IMPOSSIBLE ....

They jsut want me to become successful ....I want myself to become successful ...but HARD0-WORK, persistence and diligence is something that don't come OVERNIGHT, do they ??

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I must say, I am impressed with your credentials. You are a very ambitious person, being able to do so many things at the same time. You have a lot of passion, strive to do what you really want, be succesfful, aim for the best, and helping others as well. You're a very good person and fellow citizen.

    In terms of the problems you're facing...take one day off from everything and go somewhere peaceful and quiet such as a park. Take some time to clear your mind and forget about school, work, family, everything for a good hour or two. Take this hour to enjoy the feel of air in your lungs, on your body, and hair. This will remind you that life is meant to be enjoyed. Notice how the birds fly freely and how the trees flutter lightly. Don't be surprised if these images bring up in you a flush of emotion like you want to cry. Cry if you have to because you've been pressured for so long and forgotten life really meant.

    After you've had some time to steady your mind and emotions, take a few mins longer to just enjoy nature or even watching people walk by. Think about what it is you really want to do in life. What do you enjoy doing most? What makes you feel most alive? Is it helping people? Do you like being around people all the time? Then you should definitely study and work for a job that will allow you to interact with people as much as possible. Being around people brings out the best in you and vice versa. It is a very rewarding work. Make a mental note to do a little research in this area once you get home.

    Since you're in financial need right now, you definitely need to work. But that doesn't mean you can't work at a job that you can enjoy being around people and pays sufficiently. Go to idealist.org This website has a lot of jobs that are geared towards working for the community but pays well enough to get you through this time. You can also try teaching at an ESL school if you know any second languages. Most are willing to work with you in terms of certificates and licenses and pays pretty well. Other options include teaching at private schools because most don't require certification. Check out different disability facilities such as hospitals to see what jobs they have to offer. My last recommendation is for if you like working with children. There's a company Play and Music, Gymboree Inc. that offers Mommy and Me classes for children ages 6 months to 5 yrs old. They offer p/t and f/t and pretty good pay to start. They don't require certification either and it's basically having fun, singing, teaching, and nurturing little children to aid in their cognitive and physical development. You'll be working with their parents too.

    When you find a job that you enjoy helping others and pays, you won't need to volunteer anymore. You will be happy being provided for at work, and doing what you love. You will now have more time to enjoy everything in life without feeling overwhelmed. You can continue your education if you choose.

    As for your parents, after you have all these things done and figured out, you can tell them how well you're doing, how you're enjoying your life and how you're managing everything in a structured but relaxed way. Your parents will feel relaxed, reassured and happy for you. You can then apologize for the lies in the past if you feel it's necessary to get out of your system, so you'll feel better. Once your parents see how've grown you become, they won't take what you did to heart, and will be very happy that you came to them.

    Success may not come overnight, but the process of getting there doesn't necessarily have to be hard.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your inability to stay focus on one thing in your career is a classic symptom of ADD or AHDD. But I'm no expert. You might want to take a break from school as it's obvious you're not sure where you want to go. Sometimes, working in a job that's not going anywhere for you is a sure fire motivation tool to go back to school and study harder. You also feel yourself being pulled in so many different directions and the biggest one of all is to please your parents. But it's time to grow up and take the reins of your life into your hands. You need to get credit counseling (no, not those stupid TV ads that promises to reduce your debts. They're scams) such as the bank. Stop lying to your parents. When they ask what you are doing, you don't have to be specific. If they don't like what you're doing, say, "I'm sorry to hear you say that. How is Dad doing today?" or whatever subject to change it to. Like all parents, they want to see you be successful. You should go to your school health center and ask them for referral to specialists. You may also have dyslexia if you find yourself struggling so. You should also get yourself screened for depression. As for your debts, if they are yours alone and not your parents, then you need to cut up all your charge cards and start paying off the smallest amount. Tell the schools that you owe money to of your situation and see if they will agree to a small nominal monthly payment without interest charge. Otherwise, tell them that you are about to declare bankruptcy. They rather get something than nothing. If it's your parents that owes these debts, then man up and own up to it. Tell them what's going on with you and that you need help. You can't seem to find your focus. This is all part of growing up. Good luck. There's a light at the end of this tunnel.

  • wolter
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    The most effective music approximately this distinctive difficulty might be "Hotel California" via The Eagles. Still a high-quality album--I have an historical vinyl reproduction that I acquired for my 14th birthday in (choke) 1977.

  • 1 decade ago

    you should really just choose yourself, its your choice, really

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  • umm idk what you should do because its your decision

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