Western people always think you should date someone before you marry them, why do you guys think this ?

It doesn't roll that way in my culture, you don't date in my culture and most people who date are the ones who end up divorced. Personally I think arranged marriages save me a lot of time after all those years of trying to get a date on my own with the result of nothing. There are people in the western society who are in their 40s who still haven't got married yet.

11 Answers

  • .
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If that's your culture, that's fine...doesn't mean anyone else has to feel that way...in western society we prefer to get to know our potential partner beforehand, to decide if they are a suitable match...we also may make the choice not to ever marry at all or to wait until mid-life...nothing wrong with those choices as there is no "need" to marry...it's simply a desire many have, and even then likely due to being raised that way...

    To each, their own...marriage isn't a requirement, nor should it be...plenty of people have partners, never marry and are quite happy...or are quite happy living the single life...

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    We place a premium on individual rights.

    You can still have an arranged marriage here.

    It's not illegal, both parties just have to agree to it (the two people getting married).

    I completely see the point that parents know their children and are vastly wiser and are in an ideal position to select an appropriate mate for their child. They love you; they want what is best for you; and presumably they will select the best spouse for you that they can.

    Now, on the flip side of the coin, that means you don't get to choose and parents are people not pure bundles of altruism.

    Your Dad is going to be extremely internally emotionally pressured to find you a spouse that does not have the characteristic of your mother than drives him nutz and that will lead him to ignore other obvious faults.

    You can't choose to marry a person with the qualities /you/ want. The person marrying you is 'forced' to accept your faults like it or not. Different people cope with different faults better and worse.

    So the way we see it, since you have arranged marriages there is no room for divorce because there are no potential mates at an older age. So you are stuck, like it or not, with your life even if you can't stand it and it wasn't even your choice.

    Also, we are slowly migrating towards an 'all singles' society.

    Marriage is a fading institution.

  • V
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    It has something to do with compatibility. And most people do not have any problem getting a date on their own. I guess arranged marriages would be a positive thing for someone who is otherwise unable to get a date on their own. Most people who are not married at 40, have chosen to stay single.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Yep, there are professional's and cons to the two techniques. In a society without arranged marriage people might desire to "date" to make effective their better half is extremely nicely suited, we gained't only %. a woman off the line and marry them. there's a plenty bigger divorce value in Western societies, a million/3 of marriages here in England. that's no longer unavoidably a flaw with the gadget because you will possibly desire to bear in mind that there is plenty much less social stigma linked with divorce here, so it extremely is plenty much less complicated to get one. In international locations with arranged marriages the families/ Church often help the couple cope with their subjects extremely than issuing divorce which i might say is a great plus. Too often in Western societies females anticipate to fulfill Mr suitable and stay luckily ever after, whilst there are imperfections everybody is all too speedy to leap out of the courting extremely than fixing them. in spite of this, having the liberty to choose your individual better half is a great privilege, and works for loads of people.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The thing about western peeps. is we have a choice... to do what you like or to do what we like or what I like.

    I personally don't think arranged marriages are about love. it's about statue and money and what one family can give another family. I know not all of them are like this but it's what I feel and sence for most.

    The good thing about having that choice is some people don't want to get married.

    and dating it's like a test run, see if it's what you want. It's hardly a waste.. the crap you learn about yourself is priceless. at least in my eyes.

    yeah you get hurt. but what ever don't kill you makes you stronger.

  • 1 decade ago

    They say that because you want to know someone before you get married to them and love them but I think arranged marriages are not bad; if you agree to them, you can still fall in love.

  • mebo
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    What you do in your culture doesn't matter if it works for you.

    In our culture an arranged marriage is similar to putting a quater in one of those little toy vending machines not knowing what your going to get. You may love it or hate it.

  • 1 decade ago

    Dude, listen to a an old Julie Andrews track "Getting to know you" and you'll understand why.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Who says you have to be married!!! Also we grow up in america and make our own decision!!! Where you are still controlled by your parent!!! when do you get to have a life of your own!!! when your parents die?

  • 1 decade ago

    i'll tell you the truth. there's a different mind set between western and eastern people. western people want sex and live up their lives. they want several partners. in the east, people want love and family. i hope you understand now.

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