my three year old argues with me all day, nothing is working! help?

I say son: "go potty break for momma, please pick up your crayons, please dont hit, do you want some pudding" anything i say gets the same response from him NO SHUT YOUR MOUTH! and i am speechless. i have never told my son to shut his mouth.he is not in daycare. i tell him that is ugly and i dont want to hear it again. he "argues" with me about everything. "put on your shorts so we can go to the pool" NO MOMMA I DONT GO TO THE POOL SHUT UP! he gets timeout several times a day and its so frustrating. he will apologize and i will talk to him kiss and hug him then its back to the same formula "dont, no please dont, i said no, please no..." Insult from the baby, timeout, rinse & repeat...HELP!!

7 Answers

  • Delia
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    He can't argue with you if you don't respond. Are you responding to his screaming and yelling during time outs?

    My son is very argumentative. This is what works for me. Ask him to do something, he refuses. I tell him that if I need to ask again there will be a consequence (yes, he knows this word). If I ask again he gets a time out. I will not interact with him during the time out. And the time out is not done in his room. You need to use a boring and toy free area. After the time out I sit with him, remind him I love him, tell him I am most proud when he behaves well, we go over why he had the time out (again), and then we exchange hugs and kisses.

    He needs very few time outs these days.

    Also, be sure your child is fed, rested, and is feeling well. It's amazing how long some kids will go without eating if they are busy playing. And that only equals crabbiness.

    Be consistent with your time out threats. If you threaten, follow through. He is arguing because at some point you showed him that he can get away with not listening.

    P.S. I read the other answers. A major part of my degree is studying psychology, especially child psychology. The bit about Oppositional Defiant Disorder is insane. A.) Your son is normal! He's 3. B.) 3 years old is far too young to diagnose such a condition. C.) Many professionals balk at this even being an actual condition. Myself included. Either way, it is a condition most commonly diagnosed among teen girls. In many cases they diagnose teen girls who demonstrate resistance to stereotypical gender stereotypes with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. In my opinion, there is no way of diagnosing your child with anything, especially not this hokey condition, via the internet. As I said, your child is normal.

    I do have an additional tip that I failed to mention the first time around. In situations such as refusing to swim, just take him home. As soon as you get to the vehicle he will likely realize the error of his ways. Be consistent, as always, and do not go back. He will learn sooner than later.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds like time out is not working. When he say's those things to you try taking a favorite toy and putting it in "toy jail" toy jail is placing it in an area where it is not within reach. You need to explain why he had it taken and also explain that he will get it back when he says he is sorry for talking to you like that. If there are other activity's that he enjoys such as tv time or computer games you could try taking those away as well. Read up on information regarding Oppositional Defiant Disorder also known as ODD.

    Source(s): R.E. LOL I would love for you to tell the 2 ppl who work with my daughter 3x's a wk and also the psychcologist my daughter see's once a month that you feel ODD is insane! You said so yourself that you are studying, you do NOT have a degree. The 3 working with my child all HAVE a degree. Another thing for you R.E. is that never once did I say that she should diagonose via internet! I only suggested she look up what it is! My daughter also has PDD-NOS would you like to say this is insane as well?
  • 1 decade ago

    Maybe instead of saying no don't do that try and distract him with something else. If he doesn't want to put on the shorts try to tell him that is ok what would you like to go swimming in. If he keeps saying shut up tell him to say please be quiet. It may just be a phase and sometimes they just do it to get you flustered and see how you react. My son didn't care about time out never did a thing so I tried different things and he grew out of it. Just always try to stay calm and not raise your voice.

  • je9je9
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Perhaps instead of asking him to do things that get a no answer, try tricking him. "I wonder how many crayons you can put away in ten seconds?" "I wonder if you can put more crayons away than me?" "I bet you can't get your swim shorts on before it's time to get in the car." "Do you suppose you can clean your dishes faster than I can clean mine?" And give him choices. "Would you like pudding or a banana?" Sounds like he likes a challenge. He might like a little competition. And I also suggest the book "Parenting with Love & Logic." It has wonderful ideas on parenting.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Sounds like the terrible 3's if there is such thing.

    Just keep consistent and don't lose your cool.

    If time out doesn't work then you need to find a different method.

  • 1 decade ago

    He is learning this attitude from someone obviously. TV?... maybe? Do you talk like that to others?........Kids learn most from their parents, siblings and people around them.

    Source(s): I have a three year old
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    he's getting it from somewhere. I would found the source. I would try to ignore it and see if that works (if he doesn't get a reaction from you, what's the point of doing it?)

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.