Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 10 years ago

What is with girls and relationships these days?

I do not understand what is with girls in our society in this day and age. I do not know why it so damn hard to find someone to have a relationship with. I know I am not the most attractive guy in the world, but I would not consider myself the worst either. However, it is not that I cannot find a girl, it is that I have never been one nor will I ever be the type of person to want a one night stand, some meaningless wasteful short term relationship, or a "Friends with benefits" kind of thing. I do not find it at all appealing, and I simply just want an actual relationship. For some reason, it appears that I am the only guy that actually wants a serious long-term relationship. Also, I would be completely fine with the idea of being able to say that I had sex with one person and not be ashamed of it. Because unlike everyone else's relationships, I actually want it to mean something... However, I cannot seem to find a girl. The opportunity has been presented before where I could have done something however, I chose not to, for reasons I have stated above. But I feel as if I am losing out and I am going to wait to long and will not be able to find anyone. Grant it, I am only 18, but it is the fact that I REALLY want a relationship, I know there is time, but I am just growing impatient I suppose, and it is frustrating. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that so many d bags and dishonest people are the ones that girls settle for. And on top of that, they are all over each other within the first couple days and having sex in a month or less. Honestly, I regret being nice sometimes, because it is as if it keeps me at a disadvantage with girls. Because although I hear all the time that they want a good guy, that never appears to hold true. I do not know when taking things slow became a bad thing or in today’s society non-existent….

I apologize for this random tangent, and honestly I do not know exactly what I am even asking on here. I am just mainly ranting because I guess I am hoping for some advice, an answer, or even other peoples agreement or if they want to rant as well just to simply know that I am not the only one that has these frustrations. I have some close friends that I would talk to them about this to however, although they will listen, they do not have an understanding for my frustrations due to the fact that their views are not one in the same. Once again, sorry for the rant and I do NOT literally mean ALL girls, I am simply just venting here.

And lastly, I have no idea if I am putting this into the right category. I have just submitted this exact same question into the category they automatically selected for me. However, since I am unsure which one it is more suitable to be posted under, I am submitting my question into this category as well.

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  • 10 years ago
    Best Answer

    Are you reading my mind? Because really, this is exactly what I'm thinking every single time I see a girl. I couldn't agree with you more, man... I have the exact same problem. I wish I could help you, but I don't have any answers either. It's just like you said... you look around and every girl you see is going out with some asshole that cares nothing for them, and meanwhile girls just keep talking about how they all want nice guys. I even posted a rant here about it a few days ago, and had like 25 girls denying that they do such a thing, even though you and I both know that nearly every girl we have ever met is like that. They don't want a nice guy... they want a completely platonic friendship with a really nice guy who they can come to and cry to and talk to and share all their worries and doubts and fears with, knowing that the nice guy will listen to them... but then they go for the musclebound idiot with no personality that cares nothing about them instead. And it never ends.

    I'm with you on the relationships... that's all I want too, just an honest, hopefully long-lasting relationship. I don't want a fling, I don't want a one-night stand, I want a real relationship... and in my experience, regardless of what the ads say, girls don't want commitment. It's no longer the guys that are afraid of commitment, it's girls. And you know why? They're afraid of giving up their freedom. I know it sounds chauvinistic, but it seems to be true. They're free, they can have any guy they want, and it's not even socially unacceptable for them to sleep around anymore. They can get jobs, make a life for themselves, and do anything completely on their own... they no longer need men in their lives, beyond sex toys. Having a relationship means risking losing that for marriage, children, etc. So why would they even consider it?

    And look around you on this site... there are tons of girls upset over not being able to find Mr. Right, upset that their boyfriend doesn't treat them well, or embarrasses them, or can't remember their birthday, or whatever it may be. Or they'll post pictures and want you to choose their next boyfriend based on looks. Disney has them brainwashed, my friend. Brainwashed to believe that they should not SETTLE for a nice guy. Why? Because Nice Guys are like the Quazimotos of the world... and if they just wait long enough, someday their Prince will come, riding up on a white horse, and they will live happily ever after with a fairy tale ending. So they don't settle for us, because they believe something better will be just around the corner, if they are just patient.

    What's my solution? Give up. Having been through more rejections than I ever care to count, I can honestly tell you from the bottom of my being that I wish I had never attempted to have a relationship. Relationships have given me more heartache, more headaches, cost me more money, time, and resources, and made me hate life more than anything I have ever attempted to do in my entire life. You may think you want a relationship now... and you do. But I can tell you that going after a relationship right now, at your age, is THE biggest mistake you can make. Girls don't care, dude. they just don't care. And you would be wise not to waste your time on them.

  • 3 years ago

    Don't give up on love! Relationships do seem like they are about sex because this world is stupid these days. It's called making love, isn't it? Not a contest for how many girls you can bang on. Sure, maybe if you are in a serious relationship, maybe you might have some casual sex, but nothing too intense. Follow your heart; it will tell you when you are in love. Strike up your confidence and get that girl. Time is ticking. You only have one life to live. Who cares what other people think. If you know that what you are saying is 100% true and you feel it in your heart, don't hold back. Please don't give up. You're too young. There's someone for everyone who deserves one. Best wishes.

  • 10 years ago

    I think you need to just open yourself up for anyone. Your ideal girl might be right there and you wouldn't know it since your caught up on other girls who obviously have no clue. If your all that, let the girl tell you because she loves you, not because you asked her

  • 10 years ago

    you sound like a really good catch and i hope you find the right girl for you....we woman do like nice guys its that sometime we just pick the wrong ones. but i wish you well and that you find someone soon

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  • 10 years ago

    You and me both dude :/

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