muslim ex girlfriend pregnant I want to keep the baby, she wants to abort it?

So to begin with, we broke up because i was drinking, lying about working all the time. In my defense I was working a lot and not going to school because I had promised her a ring and was working to pay for the ring. I wanted to surprise her with a ring and avoid arguments and confrontation about not studying so I'd lie and obviously get caught. I never cheated or anything. I did get into drunk arguments and whatever, but I ended up getting arrested for stupidness I didn't do and framed by police who blew the situation out of proportion. So the police have a sort of condition where I'm not allowed to directly or indirectly contact her. But she contacted me after a month and a half. She wanted to get some closure on why i ruined everything and why i didn't change before. I apologized and since have been through a lot, being shat on by my family as I am an indian male and she a guyanese muslim. We were soooo deeply in love. Lived together for 1.5 years without any major problems except at the last two months when everything went out of control. So I'm here now, after she contacted me, she asked me to meet up and "chill as friends" but when i went there, she had other intentions. I have since lost about 35-40 lbs, almost all muscle, i quit drinking permanently, have been seeing counselors for anger management, alcoholics anonymous, counselors for addressing my past and why I was drinking so much. I've cleaned up a lot and have totally turned my life around. She has seen this too, but still fears because truth be told, relationships are built on trust and i broke that by lying about stupid little things. I owned up to it, dealt with going to jail, paying ridiculous lawyer fees, and emotional trauma from my family. I am being kicked out because before all this i had promised her i would convert to islam and I was going to. Now I am doing it for the right reasons and really converting for the love of islam, not for her, as she's made it clear she doesn't want anything. After I met up she told me her family has found her a prospect and she always cries telling me how she's going to feel like she's being raped. crying that I ruined her, how I should have changed and she tried so hard, how she doesnt know what to do, she isn't willing to fight because she's afraid I'll go back to the way i was before. I'm really hurt and really love her. I would never go back to that monster i became after seeing how much i hurt her. Any guy would run from her after having dealt with police and jailed twice and charged. I however dealt with what I got and accepted it because I was wrong. now after having said that, we met up and she couldn't resist and ended up forcing me to have sex with her. by forcing i mean literally ripping my pants off, but I couldn't resist either because our sex life was amazing. We continued to meet up every two to three days and we'd have sex, but i didnt want sex, i wanted to spend time and show her i was different. It's been 3 months since we broke up and we've been on dates, went to the beach, cooked and danced together, showered, she's fed me, cared for my cuts and injuries, i sleep with her in my arms, we walk downtown and enjoy the sites, we laugh, go to the movies, talk about nothing and enjoy conversations, I love it! but then she goes and says how she loves how we're friends with benefits. :S. The sometimes she says she misses me, misses my touch, misses my smell, loves me, my company, I'm so sexy, I'm good in bed, I'm funny, she's proud im finally in school. Then she also gets jealous if a girl calls me, she asks me always if i have a girlfriend and that why are girls always calling me.

with all that said, here's my problem now. We had sex and one day two weeks ago approximately, she told me over the phone some symptoms she was feeling and said something along the lines of "could i be pregnant or no?" im like wtf! why would she say that?. So i spoke to her asked her everything she was feeling and said they are roughly same symptoms for her period. She got relieved and left it. Two days ago she was really feeling weird and I went to see her, after a long fun day of movies, dinner, dancing, talking, hugging and kissing, making love, we went for a walk and happen to walk by a pharmacy and decided we'd drop and get a pregnancy test. She grabbed one and we went back. After doing the test we both went into the room to joke and tickle and fool around. I came out and went to take a pee break and happen to see the test. It was positive. I flipped. I didn't know how to react and said OMG, OMG... what do we do, she didn't believe me until she saw it, when she did see it, she was in disbelief and shock. I love her still and now more so. we have already had an abortion in the past and we were so traumatized that we knew we didn't want to do it every again. But this t

12 Answers

  • Lina
    Lv 5
    10 years ago
    Best Answer

    It is her body that is going to host the child. You cannot stop her from getting an abortion.

    Calmly tell her what you think and what you believe. Don't tell her that she has to do anything. Talk with her about it. Tell her how you feel. She may keep the baby, she may not. It is her decision in the end, whether you like it or not. If you can't trust her with a choice, how can you trust her with a child?

    I know it is none of my business, but your relationship is too rocky to deal with a child at this point. It will not bring you closer together. You need to sit down and ask her where she wants this relationship to go. Listen to her, then tell her what you want. Try to compromise.

    I'm sorry for lecturing you, I don't mean any offense. I hope your relationship works out.

  • 10 years ago

    I haven't even bothered to read even half of what you wrote, not because it isn't true, my guess is it is, but because the problems you have come down to two simple things: 1) pride; and 2) sin.

    If we take the first one, pride, there is so much of what you say that comes down to you telling her or letting her believe things about you or your plans that aren't true. You can't blame her if you said such and such and then she found out the hard way that what you said wasn't true. This is an issue that you need to deal with, and it isn't about you telling her, it is about you changing your heart. You have come to a religious forum, so I am guessing you are expecting to hear that Jesus does offer a solution, which he does: Love your neighbour as your self! The only way you can change your heart is by putting Jesus as first in your life. When you do that, then he will change your heart, and when he does so then pride will also be dealt with, because pride is one form of sin.

    Which brings us to the second factor: sin. The fact she gets jealous when a lady rings is because she doesn't trust you ... no, you don't blame her for that, you need to blame yourself. You created the distrust, so you need to create trust. Again, the issue of her wanting an abortion is because she doesn't trust you to support her and the child, so you need to show you can be trusted.

  • 3 years ago

    First thing, Do not over text her. She will get annoyed and if you keep telling her "TAKE ME BACK I LOVE YOU." Learn here

    She will not want you even more. You need to show her that you don't need her and can live your life without her. She still cares about you I am sure. Maybe try "flirting" with other girls around her to make her jealous. I know its bad, but if i saw my ex flirting with someone else it would make me REALLY ANGRY. However, you still need to show her you care about her too. Show her what she's missing and remind her of it. Be confident and don't show your broken heart. Try ignoring her? Girls hate that. You want her to come to you. Once she does this YOU have all the power.

    She will realize what you mean to her and she will hopefully come crawling back. (I am in the same situation as you, except I am the girl trying to get my ex back). Try not to be so clingy and give her space. But try to be around so she sees you, but don't talk to her much. Keep convos short and if you txt her, which you shouldn't, then also keep it short and bland. This will be hard to do because you just want to let her in your life again, but you can't. If you show her that you are desperate to get her back, she won't go for it. Make her come to you and REMIND her of all that she is missing out on. Hope this helps. And trust me, I know how you feel. Girls usually come around easier than guys so you should be lucky. ughh wish i could say the same.

  • 4 years ago

    Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to

    Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

    The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

    Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

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  • 4 years ago

    Too long to read. Talk to her and tell her how you feel, that you will be man enough to take care of this child. Good luck.

  • Callie
    Lv 4
    10 years ago


  • Didn't read it. Let her do what she wants.

  • 10 years ago

    ABORT! who would want your DNA?

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    your girlfriend is a **** and she's a terrible muslim, and if she doesn't repent she's going to hell, and you sound like a mess...sorry that's my opinion of both of you

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    .............. Don't abort it. give the baby a chance to live

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