im looking for a line off family guy thats funier than 1 of the simpsons for the 5th time?

ive had:

peter:you're drunk!

louis:im not drunk, im just tired from drinking all night. and stewie to a hooker:

"tell me, is there any tread left on the tires at all or a this point it would be more like throwing a hot dog down a hallway."

when grampa Griffin puts up a crucifix up in the dining room:

Stewie-"yes nothing says "eat up" like a bleeding, half naked Jew nailed to a piece of wood"

I didn't find them funny then, I still don't and I also think there stupid so tell me 1 or i'll just keep asking.

Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?

Diane Simmons (sighs): Ghostbusters, Tom.

Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.

OR

Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.

OR

Lois: Peter,why are we stopped?

Peter: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers...

Lois: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby!

Peter: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh,I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz,uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.

OR

Peter: Don't worry Chris. Sometimes it's good not to fit in. (Flashback to Veitnam)

Peter (dressed in a clown suit): You guys are stupid. Their gonna be looking for army people.

OR

Peter - I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her for the rest of your life.

Guy - OH MY GOD!

Peter - No no no, I'm just kiddin. She's dead.

OR

Brian: Hola, me llamo es Brian ... Nosotros queremos ir con ustedes.. uhhhh ...

Bellboy (Spanish): Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.

Brian: Oh, oh you speak English!

Bellboy (sigh): No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.

Brian: You .... you're kidding me, right?

Bellboy (Spanish): Que?

Stewie: "You know, Cindi, I'd feel worse about this if you didn't spell your name with that insufferable "i" at the end. And that cockadoodie smiley face you use to do it! YOU SICKEN ME!

I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm not gonna hurt you."

Peter: "Hey Lois, when did you get that tattoo on your lower back?"

------> Lois: "I don't know Peter, meth is a hell of a drug

King (Stewie): "WHO is THAT?"

Jester (Brian): "That's Lady Redbush and her husband to be Griffin Peterson." (Lois and Peter)

------> King: "That piece of a s s is marrying that tall glass of poop juice?"

.

Peter: Laura Bush killed a guy.

Lois: That's right, Laura bush killed a guy.

Peter: Laura Bush killed a guy.

Stewie: Oh lovely, a first class ticket to a semen stained death in the basement. (about being in a beauty pageant)

Bill Clinton: Hi is this Linda Tripp, you shouldn't of talked you stupid b*tch i hope you die

Judas: "You know sometimes I feel like someone should just…"

Judas and Pontius: "...crucify Jesus of Nazareth, oh my god!"

Judas: "I'm Judas"

Pontius: "Pontius. This is so weird because just today I was thinking about how I wanted to find the son of God and nail him to some wood."

Judas: "Well lets go find him and kick his a$s."

Pontius: "That sounds swell!"

so give me a funny 1 or ill just keep asking

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago
    Best Answer

    Lois: Peter,why are we stopped?

    Peter: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers...

    Lois: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby!

    Peter: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh,I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz,uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.

    Source(s): my view
  • 10 years ago

    Peter: I'm packing for KISS-stock and I can't find my favorite underwear.

    Lois: You mean the pair with the rip in the right buttcheek from when you stepped on them pulling them up in that airplane bathroom from when you had the trots?

    Peter: No, the pair with the hole in the left buttcheek from when I held it in for two hours 'cause it was that extra long Palm Sunday church sermon and I thought blowing gas would offend Jesus, so I let it go in the vestibule after Mass, and it sounded like Louis Armstrong?

    Lois: Oh, bottom drawer.

    Stewie: What's my future coming from these squalid surroundings? Getting into a fight at the Laundromat with some dude who hit on my baby's mama?

    Here's another:

    Stewie sees his grandparents in bed:

    Stewie:

    "God look at her. How does she sleep at night knowing she has to funnel that old duffers hogg."

    I'm glad you liked mine

    "tell me, is there any tread left on the tires at all or a this point it would be more like throwing a hot dog down a hallway."

    when grampa Griffin puts up a crucifix up in the dining room:

    Stewie-"yes nothing says "eat up" like a bleeding, half naked Jew nailed to a piece of wood"

    Peter: "Hey Lois, when did you get that tattoo on your lower back?"

    ------> Lois: "I don't know Peter, meth is a hell of a drug

    King (Stewie): "WHO is THAT?"

    Jester (Brian): "That's Lady Redbush and her husband to be Griffin Peterson." (Lois and Peter)

    ------> King: "That piece of a s s is marrying that tall glass of poop juice?"

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    These two get my votes:

    "Your aunt Marguerite is probably laughing at me while she's burning in hell, may she rest in peace." - Peter in Peter, Peter Caviar Eater

    "Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside." - Stewie in The Kiss Seen Around the World

  • Sharon
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Stewie: Oh lovely, a first class ticket to a semen stained death in the basement. (about being in a beauty pageant) Bill Clinton: Hi is this Linda Tripp, you shouldn't of talked you stupid b*tch i hope you die Judas: "You know sometimes I feel like someone should just…" Judas and Pontius: "...crucify Jesus of Nazareth, oh my god!" Judas: "I'm Judas" Pontius: "Pontius. This is so weird because just today I was thinking about how I wanted to find the son of God and nail him to some wood." Judas: "Well lets go find him and kick his a$s." Pontius: "That sounds swell!"

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