Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 10 years ago

My friends boyfriend is totally rude! What should I do?

So one of my really good friends has been going out with a new guy for about 2-3 months. Her boyfriend has liked her for a really long time, and when they finally started going out, my other friends and I were really really happy for them!! But as they started going out longer and longer, my friends and I started to notice that they don't laugh as much that they used to, and they wouldn't really include us in a lot of stuff. Her boyfriend is like really obsessed with her and he says he loves her SOO much, but he's really controlling! Her boyfriend is also really rude to my friends and I. He sits with me and another one of my friends at lunch, and one time I was just saying how I hate conjugating verbs in Spanish class, and her boyfriend looks and me and VERY rudely is just like, "shut up. just shut up."

Also, whenever I tell my friend how he says some rude stuff to us, she's always just like, "oh I'm sure he was just joking." or, "he's just kidding." but he's NOT kidding!

And she barely talks to me anymore! Its ME who always has to make an effort to talk 2 her or to plans things! But she always plans things with her boyfriend! Whenever I ask her to do something, she's either busy or with her boyfriend!!

I know some people would just tell me that they'll eventually be back to normal and it's just the "honeymoon" phase, but they've been going out for almost 3 MONTHS. I really doubt they're STILL going through that phase. I appreciate what any advice anyone could give me. I'm just really upset that my friend is like ditching me all the time for her dumb boyfriend. I've been friends with her for 5 YEARS! She's centered her whole life around this guy!

Oh and one more thing, he's actually moving back to Maryland at the end of this month, and I know she's probably going to call me and start crying about how she misses him, and she'll come back to me and all my friends, but I don't know if I still want to be her friend after all this. Please give me advice on what to do!!

3 Answers

  • Feisty
    Lv 7
    10 years ago
    Best Answer

    I hate to say this, but I think there's a little bit of jealousy on YOUR part here. She has found someone to share her time with and you don't like it. You obliviously expected her to get the boyfriend AND still spend the same amount of time with you. It doesn't work that way, especially if you don't like the boyfriend. Teen age girls DO center their lives around their boyfriends -- especially in the beginning.

    Frankly, I think that your problem will solve itself when the boyfriend moves. But, I'm not sure you're really HER friend if you can't see past this.

  • 10 years ago

    If you have been friends with this person for 5 years, my suggestion would be to wait it out. Perhaps they are not laughing so much anymore because he has to move away soon. Maybe she is spending this much time with him because she knows he will be gone soon. Maybe they are stressed over the fact that they won't be able to be together anymore. It sounds to me like she is going through alot of stress right now. A true best friend would be patient and understanding and when it all falls down, that best friend would be there to help pick up the pieces. I understand that you are feeling neglected and rightfully so, but ... you know that he will be gone soon and she will need your shoulder. Hang in there. I'm sure she doesn't mean to upset or hurt you. She is probably going through a lot of emotions right now. Don't turn your back on her ... that could be disastrous ... just hang in there. Wouldn't she do it for you?

    Hope that helps and good luck!

  • lazo
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    I suppose this is a little impolite, except you recognize he will name and also you allow them to realize upfront. When he does name, it might be well mannered to step out of the room as good. I have peers who take calls at all times after we're within the core of a talk. It tells the buddy that the caller has whatever extra useful to mention than the buddy. I desire extra men and women have been in song to cellphone mobile etiquette!

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