Husband watching porn is this ok?

My husband and I have been married for 5 yrs and together we occasionally watch porn. Recently I've looked on my computers history and seen that he goes online to watch porn while I am at work. I didn't think it was that big of a deal because we watch together on occasion but I keep thinking about it and its kinda bugging me. Do you think I should confront him or am I making a big deal about nothing? Your input is appreciated.

Update:

Thank you all for your input... I guess im making a big deal out of nothing. I mean by him watching it alone doesnt cause any problem in our sex lifes... if anything things have been a litlle extra steamy lately. We have a really good relationship with good communication. I was just on the fence about this one question. I dont want to confront him on something that really not that big of a deal. Thanks again to all!!

Update 2:

addtionally i dont spy on him or check his stuff. I trust him to the fullest he has never given me any doubts about cheating or anything like that. i just happen to look at the history on the computer because I was looking for site that I was previously weeks ago and I couldnt remember what the correct name was. Thanks again!

24 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    As long as it isn't costing you money, leave it alone.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    It is normal. Whether it is "okay" is up to you to decide. This is a discussion that the two of you should have had before you got married. If you clearly stated that you were not okay with this, and he is doing it behind your back anyway, you need to have a discussion about lying, not about porn. In realistic terms, porn is not a threat to you--especially if this only happens while you're away. He is not going to bring home a disease from porn, he is not going to leave you for porn. If your sex life is reasonably healthy, there is no cause for alarm. If, however, he is neglecting you in favor of pornography, then that is certainly an issue. Incidentally, men do NOT visualize pornographic images when they are with a woman. We're very much oriented in the here-and-now, and any fantasies that happen will involve you, there and then. Porn is not your competition, anymore than him going out to dinner is competition for your cooking. If he eats your food when you prepare it, there's no problem. If the two of you are intimate as usual, no problem. According to the situation that you described, he is handling his sexual urges in a completely healthy and normal way. There is no cheating going on, and from what you describe, it is only an outlet when you are not available. If this is still unsettling for you, perhaps you could make your own pornography for him. I know of no man in a healthy relationship that would not jump at this offering. In any case, talk to him about your feelings, but do not nag him or become accusatory. If you really feel that porn is a threat to your relationship, then nagging him is not going to help your case. Discuss your feelings gently, and do not blame.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Ask him why he does it...is it because he's bored or you're on your per and he can't be with you? If his answer is just cause explain to him it bothers you because you want him to look at you and not that fake stuff but if he says it because you aren't there and he would rather watch it than cheat on you then ask him to minimize the time on the computer and give him other things to do during the day. Such as renting him a movie or buying him a series of his fav show or activities that he likes to do it will take his mind of it a will slowly phase it out not forever but not 24/7 will he watch it

  • kim h
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I think you are making a big deal about it. There is nothing wrong with it. Men and women watch porn for various reasons. People with great sex lives watch it too. Unless he is doing that instead of you, no problem.

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  • 1 decade ago

    My 1st husband had serious issues with this. It ended up contributing to the demise of our marriage. Ironically, even with that said, I paid for a subscription for my new husband and have no problem with him watching porn on occasion. I know that I am still what he wants and he doesn't have a wandering eye or obsession with it. He knows that it was a problem with the ex and as long as the buy is respectful (like I don't want to watch it with him) then I don't have a problem.

  • 1 decade ago

    I have been married over 20 yrs and I remember when I found out my husband was looking at porn. I thought I was going to throw up because I thought he didn't love me anymore. Since then I have found out it seems to be the norm. If he isn't looking at child porn, or gay porn I wouldn't worry or bring it up. Also, stop searching what he has been looking at because it will drive you crazy in the long run.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    No big deal every women seems to think it about them if they catch there husband looking at porn..It's a man thing ..No it's not gonna make him wanna cheat if he's gonna cheat he's gonna cheat porn has nothing to do with it.I would let him know you know about it and tell him how you really feel . But my husband looks at it and I have no problem with it ..

  • 1 decade ago

    i would ask him about it. but not so in a forward way. i've experienced the same thing but only when i was pregnant. and confronting him head on wasn't the way to go. perhaps the next time you're in the moment with him, afterwards talk about it and slyly get to the point and ask him if he ever watches it on his own. or SOMETHING along those lines. men LOVE their privacy because in their most private moments, they feel like a manly man. and once that privacy is invaded, it's over and all hell breaks loose. but you also need your peace of mind because the more it bugs you the more it's going to fester inside of you and eventually cause you to be bitter, second guessing your husband, be insecure and i'm sure you know where i'm going with that. i don't think it would hurt to ask him, but i would do it in a loving approachable way. good luck!

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You can hardly make a big deal of it Jackie if you watch it with him !!!!

    Or is it because he does it while you are at work ?

    He is probably just bored at home and looking for something new ?

    I would not make an issue of it if i were you

    Just laugh it off you cant help having a horny hubby !!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    I guess the answer is: "it depends". If your sex life is good and you know he's not sneaking away anywhere other than to look at porn on line. Then, no harm no foul. If he is not sexing you and watching all that porn, then that's a problem.

  • 1 decade ago

    So, do you feel it is a big deal, or not? Doesn't seem to me like you can decide for yourself, and you certainly don't want to send mixed signals or play games. If it's "not that big of a deal", then let it go; if it IS a big deal, talk to him about it and make your expectations clear.

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