Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesBooks & Authors · 10 years ago

Is this a good fan fiction story?

one tree hill. its not meant to sound like professional or anything. just the story line. it's not finished.

Brooke Davis is in her shop and a Alex walks in with a cross shoulder bag on one shoulder. Alex asks Brooke if there are any jobs available at her shop. Brooke says that she desperately need someone so she gives Alex a application form. A couple of days later Alex walks in and hands Brooke the completed application form. Brooke discusses it with her colleague from work and they decide to give Alex the job.

After about a month, Alex and Brooke become very close. Alex is usually very happy at work and gets along with everyone but then suddenly becomes very quite and unhappy. Brooke notices bruises on Alex’s arms and neck at work. It looks like Alex has tried to cover them up with make-up. Brooke becomes very suspicious and worried but doesn’t say anything about them to Alex.

A few days later when Haley is at Brooke’s house, Brooke asks if Alex is in her class. Haley says that she has her the next day and wonders why Brooke asked. Brooke asks her if she would talk to her about the bruises on her arms and neck. So Haley says she would do that. Brooke says that she is very concerned but asks Haley not to say that she asked her. Brooke goes to work after.

Just before Brooke walks into her shop you see Alex in front of a mirror in the changing room with her top lifted up and you see bruised ribs and she is crying. She touched her ribs and gasps ini pain. Brooke walks in and Alex jumps, pulls her top back down and wipes her eyes. Brooke is talking then looks at Alex and stops in the middle of a sentence. She asks Alex if she had been crying but Alex denies it. Brooke tells Alex that she can tell her anything but Alex still denies it and says she is fine.

At school the next day when Alex is in Haley’s class, Haley is walking up and down the class room. She walks past Alex and notices the bruises. When she walks past Alex again she crouched down beside her and asks her to stay behind at the end of the lesson. So at the end Alex walks up to Haley’s desk and Haley tells her to take a seat. Haley asks her about the bruises and as soon as she mentions them Alex’s eyes start to water and she puts her head down and tries not to cry. Alex tells Haley that she fell down the stairs. Haley doubts her and questions her about how she fell down the stairs. Haley tells her that she believes her but she really doesn’t. She tells Alex that she is going to phone her mother but Alex tells her that her mum walked out on her about a week ago and she has no idea where she is. Alex tells her that she lives with her father. So Haley tells her she will phone her dad. Alex says that there is no need and looks worried but Haley says she has to because she is very concerned.

Haley tells Brooke the next that Alex and her dad both said she fell down the stairs but they are still not convince. Brooke says that new bruises keep appearing so she couldn’t have fallen.

Haley phones Alex’s dad, Paul, and tells him that she noticed bruises on her arm and neck and Paul tells her the exact same thing that Alex told her. She also says that she thinks Alex is having a hard time coping with her mother walking out on her and says that she thinks Alex should have counseling to talk about it. Paul says that that is a good idea. She asks him if he knew anyone that would want to hurt Alex including him but her says nobody would and still says she fell down the stairs. Haley tells him that she is sorry to bother him and he says that it is okay so Haley thinks he is putting on a nice guy act when she really thinks he is hurting Alex.

That day when Alex goes home after school, Paul looks very angry. He says he had a call from her teacher and he says that she should have hid the bruises better. He says he thought she had expensive make-up that would cover them but she says she ran out of money because she had to pay for alcohol for him. He gets really angry at this and starts punching her. She is screaming. Next scene is Paul sitting on the sofa with a beer and Alex walking past. She had bruises and scratches on her face and a black eye. She says she is going to work but Paul says she must put make-up on her face to cover them up with. Alex starts to well up and says that if he would just stop hitting her, she wouldn’t have to go into so much trouble. But he ignores her. She tries to quietly sneak out the door but it makes a noise. Paul shouts but Alex quickly runs out the door without putting make up on and Paul runs after her but loses sight of her when he gets outside.

Brooke is alone in the shop and Alex walks in. Brooke gasps and walks over to her. Alex tried so hard not to cry. Brooke asks her what happened. Alex doesn’t reply. Brooke asks if it was her dad. Alex nods and bursts out crying. Brooke hugs her. Brooke tells her it’s okay. Alex says it’s not okay because she doesn’t know what to do. Brooke says she has

4 Answers

  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    WOOT WOOT! sounds awesome...

    keep it going.

    but use more detail and lengthen the story...

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  • 3 years ago

    properly, i think of the Infernal city via Greg Keyes is purely a fanfic of the Elder Scrolls pastime series, and it incredibly is being printed with permission from Bethesda Softworks. yet i could ought to assert frequently, no. i'm particular there's a great style of stable fan fiction obtainable that has an surely unique take on the fan series, yet maximum of it incredibly is purely Mary-Sue stuff the place the author purely creates a character it incredibly relies off off themselves, purely they're suited, so as that they are able to insert them in a fantasy international the place a gaggle of suited and mind-blowing issues take place to them. I do think of I ought to ingredient out, nonetheless, that writers, and that i propose properly-commonplace and marvelous printed writers, are constantly taking from yet another tale. maximum fantasy attracts it incredibly is notion from someplace else, possibly different memories that they have examine, and those take from memories that they have examine, and finally it purely retains going back till you get to the unique source, it incredibly is purely fairy tale, legends, mythology, and folklore. it incredibly is incredibly no longer so distinctive from, say, Greg Keyes up there writing approximately his take on the Elder Scrolls mythos. i do no longer write fan fiction myself, yet I in spite of the incontrovertible fact that in many cases locate myself attempting to fill interior the holes interior the mythology of series that i'm prepared on, so I think of it incredibly is all some fan fiction writers attempt to do, which isn't probable unoriginal. a great style of action pictures do the comparable ingredient. Fanfic purely happens to be slightly extra pop-lifestyle-ish, and confident, in many cases slightly cheesy.

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  • 10 years ago

    There is no such thing as good fan fiction.

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  • 10 years ago

    whoa long.

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