Why do people consider abortion before adoption?
I was just wondering. It seems like people will get an abortion before they give the baby away for adoption. I don't understand. I do not believe in abortion --- let me get that out of the way.
Please state your opinions without being judgmental. Thanks.
- אהבהLv 610 years agoFavorite Answer
All women have different reasons for choosing abortion over adoption. Some women choose abortion over adoption because they're very young and don't want their parents or friends to find out that they were ever pregnant. Some other women choose abortion over adoption because they're stuck in low-paying jobs and cannot afford to lose their jobs or take a lot of time off for maternity leave. Some other women choose abortion because they have a physically or mentally abusive partner and don't want to go through a pregnancy in such a dangerous environment. Others choose abortion because they were raped and don't want to carry a child that they never wanted and had no choice in conceiving. Other women choose abortion over adoption because they don't have health insurance and can't afford pricey doctor's appointments or OB/GYN visits. But I think the most common reason why women choose abortion over adoption is because most women simply don't want to spend nine months of their life pregnant with a child that they don't want and aren't going to keep. Pregnancy is a long and often miserable and uncomfortable process for the mother (not to mention dangerous and sometimes life-threatening). If a woman doesn't want to continue with a pregnancy, then she shouldn't have to. She shouldn't have to spend nine months of her life acting as an incubator for a baby that she doesn't want. She has every right to have an abortion if she feels that an abortion would be the best decision for her and her life. Abortion is simply a safe and legal way to end an unwanted pregnancy before it becomes an unwanted child.
I had an abortion a few years ago. My birth control pills failed and I ended up pregnant at a time when my fiance and I were not emotionally, psychologically, or financially ready to become parents. I have absolutely no regrets about my decision to abort; I've never felt guilty about it, I know I did the right thing. Part of the reason why I chose abortion over adoption was because I simply did not want to spend nine months pregnant with a child I never wanted in the first place and did not intend to keep, but I also chose abortion over adoption because I didn't want to bring another unwanted child into this world when there are already so many unwanted and unloved children in orphanages and poor foster care systems throughout the world. Not all babies immediately get adopted into kind, loving, stable families after they are born. Some children spend years languishing in orphanages or are bounced around from foster home to foster home for years before they're finally adopted permanently; other children are adopted by people who are sexually, physically, or emotionally abusive, and they end up living miserable and tragic lives as a result. (Sadly, this happens more often than you'd think.) Some other children spend their entire lives in foster homes and are never adopted at all.
Why bring more unwanted and unloved children into this world when there are already so many miserable, unloved children who desperately need loving homes? Really, what's the point of that?
All children should be 100% wanted by their parents when they are born. I know I would never bring an unwanted child into this world or put a child up for adoption; it's either abortion or parenthood for me and my fiance.
- AdairLv 610 years ago
Adoption seems a lot more difficult than abortion. Not only is pregnancy quite unpleasant/uncomfortable/painful for some, a woman would have to sacrifice her body- which will look different after giving birth- in order to give up a child for adoption. Child birth is I'm told, the most excruciating pain there is. A woman's life is vulnerable each time she gives birth. Her vagina may even be different after childbirth. Her hormones will be out of wack. She may lose her want for sex or the feminine feelings that make us ladies feel so good. She may endure postpartum depression also. A birth mother also sacrifices herself emotionally. There is an emotional bond a woman would develop with her unborn child even knowing that she's going to give it up. That bond would stay with a woman all throughout her life and she'll always think about the child she gave up, wondering if they're ok and if they've made the right choice. There will always be a part of her missing and replaced with anguish and guilt. There are also way too many kids out there waiting for parents. People aren't adopting at the same rate that children are put up for adoption. Some children grow up and NEVER get a family. There is no guarantee that an adoptive family will treat your child the way you'd like for them to be treated either. Not all adoption stories are good ones. Further, we're over populated. (Now for the judgement you don't want.) I don't like the idea of abortion either, but unless you're a child just now contemplating this subject, I don't see how you could even ask this question.
- CarbonDatedLv 710 years ago
The reality is that most women do not want to go through a pregnancy where they will ultimately not have a child to raise themselves. The vast majority of abortions are done when women are in their 20s, often due to bad relationships and lack of finances. Maybe she is still in school? Maybe she has no health insurance? Maybe she has no place to live!? Maybe she was doing illegal drugs or drinking heavily? Maybe she was taking legal drugs that can cause harm to a fetus? Maybe she was date raped (most women who are raped never report the rape and don't list it on the forms at the clinic). Maybe her bf is beating her, threatening her? In half of all cases, her birth control method failed.
Yes, I know, your first line is that she can get medical coverage through her state. First of all, that is very recent and most states still do not have this coverage. Secondly, as indicated by many posters, many ob/gyns will no longer take Medicaid. What is she going to do about her job? If you are a waitress, you already are being barely paid, but you get no sick days, no vacation. You don't get paid for maternity leave. You probably have no health insurance. What if you are a college student? Now, you have to consider how you are going to complete your education because you will have to take time off in the middle of the semester.
Most of all though, why give birth to an UNWANTED baby? Babies should be wanted when they are born and even today, with abortion easily obtainable, there are far more unwanted babies born than the system can handle. Let's remember that it is only the healthy, white babies that are in demand.Source(s): I wish I had had an abortion. Instead 2 lives were ruined by adoption.
- Anonymous10 years ago
So to Jill26... you would rather kill the baby then give it away? I think people think abortion first because they don't want to go through the pain orf labor, but in my opinion they deserve it, if they didn't want a child they should have used protection, or better yet not had sex. I think abortion is just horrible killing a poor baby that never had a chance at life. If I ever get pregnent before I can handle a child I would most definatly give him/her up for adoption if there was no way I could keep them
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- 10 years ago
I dont think abortion should be used as a way of birth control, but if someone who is careful and ends up pregnant (condom splits etc) then im all for abortion, it could ruin their life, not being financially stable etc
and as for adoption, its not just a case of "oh il have the baby and just give it away and feel nothing afterwards" its better aborting - you never met the fetus, you cant really miss something you never had (in your arms) on top of all that - the kid trying to look for you in the future and if or when they find you, you got a hellava lot of explaining to do which will prob alter your future life drastically.
tbh after all this, i believe in aborting rather than adoption, what about rape victims? I know what id do.
- BelieLv 710 years ago
Because adoption involves living nine months with a child growing inside you that you frankly don't want and that may be damaging your health both mentally and physically, straining your finances, interfering with your work or education, and potentially ruining your relationships with others. Not to mention that the adoption "market" (which, indeed, it is to some) is heavily overloaded.
Meanwhile, an abortion allows for a woman to deal with a matter that is solely connected to her in a private way that has no long-lasting effects on the woman. A forced abortion to a woman who wants a child will of course damage her, as well a woman forced to carry to term for a full nine months a child that was possibly a reminder of the night she was dragged into the dark and raped, but there's no need to argue these singular and very specific circumstances.
- 10 years ago
Emotional pain is less of an issue with abortions. and having a child that more than likely will NOT get adopted is a little cruel
- 10 years ago
well me personally ive had 1 abortion and will never do it again i wasnt ready for a baby and i didnt wanna carry a baby for 9months than give it away i was only 5weks when i found out and i felt like a had a bond with it and i could feel anything lol but i thought at the time it was what was best
- JadeLv 510 years ago
Well first off im pro-life and don't agree with abortions..
The reason i think people do have abortions rather then having the baby and giving it up for adoption is, they don't have to go through 9 months of carrying a baby, they don't have to give to birth maybe it just seems easier that way..
- SeanLv 410 years ago
Some family friends of mine were in that sort of situation, they considered abortion first because they already had 3 kids and knew how hard it was to give them up after seeing them. But they knew they couldn't afford the new baby. Plus, they felt bad for the baby growing up in an orphanage without them.
Though, I do not agree with abortion either.