Suri asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

英文文章幫忙改(20點)

這是學期中間用線上繳交的文章,

老師希望我們可以在期末自己批改後再交一次

是的我發了很多篇了,但每篇都不一樣的

可是自己打的怎麼看都很鬼打牆,

想請大家瞧瞧哪些地方要修改

這一篇比我發的其他篇長一些,

所以多5點,20點請別嫌少啊~!!

Summary:

This article is talking about many problems done by people have caused penguins to become endangered, and people actually have hurt penguins for a very long time.

Long ago, Indians and other individuals killed penguins, using them for meat, feathers and eggs.

Next, many Europeans raided penguin colonies and many penguins were killed for their skins because the oil contented in them can be used to fuel the fires on the ships.

In fact, there were 500,000 penguins were killed for oil in 1857. Moreover, 630,000 Jackass Penguins were collected in 1901.

Unfortunately, there was no thought to how these killings might diminish the species.

Now, man pollutes the penguin habitat with oil spills and garbage.

Commercial fishing seriously reduces food for new chicks and endangers the chick survival rates.

Water pollution remains big threats to the penguin population.

And the tourists can even give penguins human diseases when interacting with them.

If the penguins get used to eating what people feed, they won’t get the proper nutrition.

Surprisingly, deforestation is one way people continue to destroy penguins' habitat because many penguins can and do live in forests.

Commentary:

People just too selfish to take care of other creatures!

The penguins are innocent and they already have to spent lots of energy to keep on breathing in the freezing places.

People take their eggs which have to be removed over a long distance and it is really dangerous to the penguins.

People should make self-examination, be more kindly to other species, and be careful to avoid making the bad when contact to other species because their lives could be destroyed by some behaviors seems to be friendly.

請有實力&誠意的朋友幫幫忙,

因為20點對我來說頗多.........

把句子改得更好的也OKAY

請不要只改一些些,這樣我很難交差

我相信可以改的地方很多←好意思說

英文不錯的朋友可以再找一下我其他的,

因為我發頗多篇XDD

多謝了~!!

Update:

還有最後一段,因為字數關係補在這裏

Man-made chemicals pose threats to all wildlife.

Although sometimes we are not really need something that should satisfied animals’ life to obtain,

Update 2:

we still kill them to get what we want instead of thinking another way to replaced such cruel behavior because people think that it is the most convenient way and it won’t do any

harm to human being.

In fact, everything wrong we do to others toady will one day strike back to ourselves.

1 Answer

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Summary:

    This article is talking about many problems done caused by people , which have caused made penguins to become endangered, and people actually have hurt penguins for a very long time.

    Long ago, Indians and other individuals killed penguins to using them for catch their meat, feathers and eggs.

    Next Besides, many Europeans raided penguin colonies habitats and many penguins of them were killed for their skins because the which contain oil contented in them that can be used to as fuel the fires on for the ships.

    In fact, there were 500,000 penguins were killed for deriving their oil in 1857. Moreover, 630,000 Jackass Penguins were collected hunted in 1901.

    Unfortunately, in those ages, there was no thought concept to about how these killings might diminish cause the species extinction.

    Now, human pollutes the penguin habitat with oil spilling and garbage.

    Commercial fishing seriously reduces the food for new chicks newborns of penguins and endangers the chick their survival rates.

    Water pollution remains a big threats to the penguin population.

    And the tourists even can even give infect penguins human diseases when interacting with them.

    If the penguins get used to eating what people feed, they won’t get the proper and balance nutrition.

    Surprisingly, deforestation is also one way that people continue are possibly to destroy penguins' habitat living places because many penguins can and do live in forests.

    Commentary:

    People are just too selfish to take care of other creatures!

    The penguins are innocent and but they already always have to spent lots of energy to keep on breathing alive in at the freezing places.

    People take their eggs when which have to be removed over a long distance, and it that is really dangerous to the penguins’ births.

    People should make self-examination self examined to be more kindly to other species and be careful to avoid making the any bad when contact to with other species, because their lives could be destroyed by some behaviors

    2010-06-07 21:57:27 補充:

    seem to be friendly.

    2010-06-07 22:27:35 補充:

    Man-made chemicals pose threats to all wildlife.

    Although sometimes, we are not really need something, but we still kill them to feel satisfied without thinking another way to replace such a cruel behavior

    2010-06-07 22:28:57 補充:

    , just because people think that it is the most convenient way and no harm to human being.

    In fact, everything wrong we do to others will one day fight back to ourselves.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.