Am I doing the right thing?
I'm in a relationship with a girl the same age and have been for the last 6 months. Last week she told me she wanted to break it off, we discussed a number of reasons why she felt this way. They included, I'd become distant recently, I found it hard to talk in groups, she found it hard balancing time with me and her friends, we had gotten into a routine and her friends thought very lowly of me (I think because she does spend time with me not them and they don't like that). We are both young (17) but all these problems have only come to light recently, she has only been acting differently in the last couple of weeks and we have been going through exams which she takes very seriously (she's very academic). Only 2 1/2 weeks ago she told me she loved me and was very affectionate towards me. In fact even though she has been acting weirdly it has only been the last two times we met up that it has felt awkward. The last time we met was to talk these things over, she said things like I still love you and don't want to leave you but things are only going to get harder. She said because we were in a routine she saw me because she felt she had to see me not because she wanted to see me which she said is not how things should be. I told her last time I saw here to text me next time she wanted to see me and then I kissed her goodbye. That was nearly a week ago now. Since then I have tried to give her space to sort things out (and to encourage her to miss me) I only sent her two text saying "goodnight xxx" Apart from that it was almost 0 contact til yesterday when she sent me a text basically asking how revision was going and how I was, we sent each other about 3/4 texts along these lines (nothing exciting but she initiated the conversation). I really miss her, I wake up at stupid times in the morning thinking about her, I'm dreaming about her I can't get her out of my mind. I 've been trying to keep myself busy (or at least create that allusion) I've been working out and I went to visit a couple of friends as well as studying for exams of course. Should I ask to meet her soon if I miss her too much, will she think that's over bearing? We go back to school soon after our study leave. We go to different schools but they are linked with our school we do activities with their school and we used to meet in town after school had finished or walk home together. Should I do that when we go back in a weeks time? I'm really confused and don't know if I'm doing things right or not, I just want things to get better again like they were only a few weeks ago, I don't understand why the situation has suddenly changed. Am I doing the right thing? (Btw if your going to say something like she's left me let her go then don't answer, if that is true then I'll find it our for myself, as far as I see I have nothing to lose in trying to get her back)
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I've gone through what you are going through now there is no easy answer to give if you love her dont chase her because you will push her away now if youd like her to be yours share in her activities but first dont contact her because she feels she has you wrapped around her finger and no guy should have to go through that i personally know ways that ive done that always work.1 i would not text even though its hard not to then she will think why is he not texting me at all or talking which u want that pull yourself back from her as well you can still love and distance yourself now she may think if its not to late of me answering this is why is he not responding to me is there someone else which you know is not the case if you 2 start talking again and work things out join in on her activities and also let her join you,you 2 will be stronger as a couple love finds a way if you believe.You are young and i am older but when i was your age i felt the way you did and i said to myself if i give in and chase her i look crazy but if i step back leave her alone her curousty will wonder why u stopped and she will ask you just have to say i understand you dont want me and play it off if not idk what to tell ya but it does work for everyone i gave advice to and their girls came back because now they know that they dont wanna see you move on with your life without them in it.