我的英文自傳文法有哪些地方需要修改? 請指教

In the era of my parents, it's pretty great if you can graduate from junior high school. So my parents have high expectation of my education. In the hope one day I can enroll in the national school; and get a stable job after graduated. I work toward that goal and keep on learning to enrich my life and skill.... show more In the era of my parents, it's pretty great if you can graduate from junior high school. So my parents have high expectation of my education. In the hope one day I can enroll in the national school; and get a stable job after graduated. I work toward that goal and keep on learning to enrich my life and skill. In order to work in the society in the future, to put into practice what has been learned; not to fall short of my parent's cultivation and teachers' teaching.

If I have the honor of being a student of your esteemed school, I will continually enhance my English ability to accumulate my competitiveness. Before the school open, I will use the network English resources, borrowing books in the library, reading foreign language magazine, and so on to study English. In the hearing aspect, is especially the place which I must enhance. At the same time, this is also a preparation for the TOEIC test. In addition, in the second foreign language choice, I have chosen Spanish which is one of the three big languages in the world. I believe it will give me lots of benefits in the future. After the school open, I will spare no effort in the class, and the top five also will be my target. On the other hand, I hope to be active in the association activities, which make me not only be able to study, but also be skilled in the extracurricular activity, what is more, I can obtain the communication skills and interpersonal relationship. Before the graduation, I must achieve the 850分(不知怎寫) in the TOEIC test, which is the goal that I set. I believe I will obtain a lot of benefits from the process before I achieve the goal.

In the future, I will use what I have learned in my coming vocation, and I will find my own field. Some day in the future, will I be the foreign language talented person who has the specialized accomplishment.


請各位英文達人指教 謝謝!
Update: 請幫忙指正文法的錯誤

謝謝
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