Dad informed late regarding wedding?

On May 15th, my daughter and her boyfriend whom she has been living with for 6 months with a 1 year distant dating relationship arrive at my home. We have casual conversation. Then they ask "What is your true opinion about us getting married?" Being a dad, I suggest premarital counseling etc to insure... show more On May 15th, my daughter and her boyfriend whom she has been living with for 6 months with a 1 year distant dating relationship arrive at my home. We have casual conversation. Then they ask "What is your true opinion about us getting married?" Being a dad, I suggest premarital counseling etc to insure that these two 23 year old are truly ready for a life long commitment and really know each other. The conversation continues and we ask, if her divorced mom knew about the engagement. She explains she knew for a while. Keep in mind that my daughter lived with me primarily during her youth. My current wife left the room because she has processed that our future young couple knew they were engaged along time ago. I hug my daughter to tell her great, happy for you etc. Deep down I'm hurt because I know there is more to the story. No she is not pregnant. My youngest daughter phones me angry because the future wedded daughter didn't like what I had to say. The youngest daughter proceeds to tell me that there is a date, time, place, and location of this marriage that I'm suppose to be at in two months. Meaning, Everyone knew the proposal was on February 2nd and the wedding is August 15th. I'm truly hurt, betrayed, and really don't feel like going because these two 23 year old knew the date, time, place, before they asked for my true opinion. My daughter to have the marriage explains that she was not to single me out or preventing me from coming however wants me to be there. She tells me she has been trying to drop in to tell me face to face. No phone call or level of importance that any of this took place by these two soon to be married so called adults. I had no idea that they were visiting for that as they have visited in the past by just dropping in with nothing real important to discuss. No communication that this was a very "important" meeting. What do I do? Go or Not go? I feel like a third wheel vs. someone of importance and I don't like to fake the smile to show support for something that needs some premarital guidance way before the walk down the aisle. Am I wrong not to go? I mean, I am truly hurt by the turn of events and will be even more hurt that this so called marriage will truly end in divorce as they both come from divorce backgrounds. I just can't do this by the sequence of events. I've tried negotiating that they attend premarital counsel for 6 to 9 months with someone that is going to dig deep into the logical issues. Then I would more apt to support this marriage when the licensed counselor gives their approval. My daughter, 23, asks me what does logical mean? Then I knew, she was not ready. I can't be fake, I can't act like I support this wedding, any bright ideas on what to say or do? I'm loosing some sleep over this.
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