What do you think of these lyrics I wrote? (honest answers/best answer)?

I've been doing poetry for awhile now, so I thought I'd try writing a song. Now I know that you can't hear music while reading this, but bear with me. These lyrics have meaning to me. So please just tell me what you think honestly. Should I make changes? All comments are welcome.

Heart of a Soldier:

Everyone's got a point of view

But you always want me to side with you

Through tragedy and misery

No tears I shed, Whats wrong with me?

I've got the heart of a soldier

Cold and hard til it's over

I wont allow myself to feel, I won't allow myself to cry

I'll keep on pushing through it and I'll never question why

People keep expecting me to break

But I've been sleepwalking forever

I dont think I'll ever wake

Armored up everyday to face the things thrown my way

Put on an act, like a play

Until I waste this day away

Cuz I've got the heart of a soldier

Each day colder and colder

I wont let a tear roll down my face,

No I won't be weak

I won't let myself feel the pain

Happiness is what I seek

Maybe if I can convince everyone I'm happy

The lie might seem so true

That maybe I'd believe it too

The heart of a soldier makes me put it all away

Boxing up feelings, not caring what they say

The heart of a soldier helps me make it to another day

Cuz I've got the heart of a soldier

I won't feel sorry for myself

I'll never ask for help

The heart of a soldier.

8 Answers

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  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    very good, but the words sound a little like a poem, i'm sure if you put them to music, it will sound a lot more passionate, perhaps a chorus is needed, i'm not sure, it's hard to evaluate lyrics without the music. Keep writing lyrics as these are very good, perhaps you could have your very own CD one day!

    good luck in the future

    =D x

    Source(s): myself =D x
  • 10 years ago

    I love it!! I love the idea of the heart of a soldier.. because soldiers are so strong and able to hold everything together through completely horrible times. This is really good. You're talented. :]

  • 3 years ago

    Wow that is beautiful powerful! Although one of the vital strains are not making feel: 'Making it tricky to slightly see,'.... it is like a double terrible, until it is intended to be like that and it honestly method it is convenient to peer?' Very well despite the fact that. XD

  • 10 years ago

    Okay, Great Lyrics but one thing - it sounds too much like a poem, maybe adjust the words a little. Hope everything goes well. f

    Sam

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  • 10 years ago

    OMG really good, please put it to a song or something... i'd just suggest you proofread it again, and be careful when repeating the lines a lot. Althoughm reapeating is usualy completely unimportant when put to a good melody. So once again, put it to a melody and send it to me pleease, the lyrics are great. I can relate to them, which is really cool :)

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    wow! that is amazing! you really shouldnt post this on the internet though, someone could copy it and claim it as theirs. but WOW!!! TRUELY AMAZING! U HAVE TALETNT!!

  • 10 years ago

    It's goose-bump great! Sad though....

    Source(s): My personal opinion
  • omg!!! :) its really good. i love it

    mine?http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=201005...

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