Please help I have a dilemma and don't want to cause a fight... what should I do?
Here is my dilemma:
I support myself and my daughter. I buy everything we need. I pay rent. Recently my parents upright washing machine started acting up. My mom says I over load the washing machine and that is why. I don't believe that I do but I shrunk my loads of laundry anyway. A typical load of laundry was the size of 5 baby towels and wash cloths. Even when I wash clothes it's about that size. It fills up 1/4 of the washing machine. I have made them smaller than that now. She talked to my grandparents and said that I am putting 4 blankets in the washing machine at a time and I messed up the washing machine. That's not true at all, but my mom likes to exaggerate, she always has been that way. My grandparents told me they believed that she had mental issues even as a child so they took her to a psychologist when she was 5, but no one knew what was wrong. I have counted and my mom does 10-14 loads of laundry a DAY! I do 5-6 in one week, and on one day. Bottom line is it's her washer, she paid for it, if she thinks I am breaking it well then I will not use it.
I really don't want to argue with my mom about it anymore. So I talked to my grandparents and they told me just to bring my laundry over when I visit them and I can do it at their house. My daughter and I visit once a week, and that since I am only allowed to do laundry 1 day out of the week at my house, it's no big deal.
Here's the issue. I do not want to be blamed for breaking my mom's washing machine. If I do my laundry at my grandparents though my mom will say that I always run to my grandparents when I am in "trouble". My mom has told me many times if I move out to move in with my grandparents to help them out financially, that she won't speak to them again. I know if I tell her I am taking my laundry over there, she will get mad and be mean to my grandparents. My grandparents said that they did not care because she does this so often but I don't want to give her a reason to be mean to them. I do some of my laundry at a laundry mat, but I would rather give my grandparents who need the money, the money than give it to a laundry mat.
BTW: my mom has always been emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive to me, now she is just really manipulative - and sometimes emotionally abusive. I have to do what I have to do to support my child though. My mother does not treat my daughter this way, just me.
What do I do?
edit: I do realize this might not seem like a big deal, but this stuff leads to HUGE fights in my family and I do not want that. I just need unbiased opinions.