Does this sound like a good personal statment for college, PLEASE READ!?

I have enjoyed my time at (my secondary school) and would like to further my education at (the college) studying photography. I'm a very friendly creative person and I enjoy meeting new people, working as a team or on my own. My hobbies and outside interests include: photography, drawing, writing, singing, being with my family and friends and being involved with the local community. Most years I do at least one charity event that will contribute to the community or help others because I feel very strongly about this, last year I took part in the blue bell walk in (the town i live in) which helped raise alot of money. There are so many talented photographers such as; Jose Ramos who takes an ordinary scene and then changes that image of how he see's it, giving the observer a whole new idea and look of what would have been an everyday photograph. Robert Doisneau, with his action packed street scenes in paris have such life and energy, and Cecil Beaton who captured 50years of fashion, art and celebrity. These are among a few of my favourites, and I would love to someday be like them, photography is my passion and i'd love to learn the skills and techniques which would able me to do so.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago
    Best Answer

    I have enjoyed my time at (my secondary school) and would like to further my education at (the college) studying photography. I'm a very friendly, creative person. I enjoy meeting new people, and I excel at working as a team or on my own. My hobbies and outside interests include photography, drawing, writing, singing, being with my family and friends and being involved with the local community. I do many charity events that will contribute to the community or help others because I feel very strongly about volunteering. Last year I took part in the Blue Bell Walk in (the town i live in) which helped raise a lot of money.

    I love photography, and my favorite photographer is Jose Ramos. I admire the fact that he takes an ordinary scene and then changes that image to give the observer a whole new idea of what would have been an everyday scene. Another photographer I like is Robert Doisneau. I enjoy his action packed street scenes of Paris; they have such life and energy. Yet another photographer I look up to is Cecil Beaton, who captured 50 years of fashion, art and celebrity. I would love to someday be like them because photography is my passion. I aspire to learn the skills and techniques which would enable me to achieve my goal.

    Much better. :)

    Source(s): You're welcome.
  • 10 years ago

    This sounds like a cover letter you're writing to get a job.

    You want to go into an art. Think about what it does for you, what it says to you, and about you. Think about the photographs and how they portray life, and preserve it, conveying emotions, capturing moments and how all of those things add up to what you want to do for people, and for yourself. Or some such thing. You want to be interesting, and you want to be artistic if you're going into a program for art.

  • 10 years ago

    i lost interest near the end its why u want to do the course your applying for they do not care about who you think are good photographers and their names lose the end they do not want to be hearing that i am graduating from college on the 1st of june and when i went for my interview for college they wanted to know why i wanted to do the course and why i had an interest in the subject i was applying for.

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Sure - once you fix all of those grammatical errors. Usually I'm not one for being the punctuation police, but this is for college so I'd work on that a little more.

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  • 10 years ago

    When doing a personal statemnt you need to focus on specific goals as well as strengths that set you apart from the rest. try mentioning something you over came in life and hasnt held you back from your goals ect

    Source(s): Just my opinion, it is good but not great
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