I have no friends? Mom hates me? Scientology? Help!?

So I've always had a pretty active and friend/fun-filled life until about 3 years ago when my parent's marriage got horrific. Very terrible, and a a couple years later they divorced. Ever since, I hang out with no one. Except my 53 year old mother, who always screams at me and physically attacks me for always being in her hair, since I have no friends to hang out with and no classes to go to.

I've already e-mailed the library asking about volunteer work, and I'm waiting for a response. I mean, I'm so tired of sitting around the house ALL DAY. I play piano and write, but I just waste time on my iPod and computer mostly. She's furious with me because I hate our religion, Scientology. I don't want to go because I've had some horrible, horrible experiences there over the years. But she says, "WELL IT DOESN'T STOP ME, YOU LITTLE CRETIN!". I have attempted suicide twice today already, and my life is just terrible.

I wake up at 10, my mom cooks breakfast, I practice piano for an hour or two, she goes to her church from 12:30pm - 6:30pm, and the whole time I waste time on Myspace or playing games. She will NOT let me out of the house when she is gone. That IS NOT an option.

I go for walks in the morning, and sometimes I go to the park for an hour. But I have no friends and my self-esteem is so low because I see all these girls with besties and boyfriends, and here I am, with no one other than my mom. Or occasionally my 21 year old brother, who is a church fanatic. WHAT CAN I DO to be happy again?! I'm so suicidal, and depressed, please help! I'm homeschooled, so I don't meet friends easily. I get sick when I think of taking a class, or going to a club.

I'm interested in motocross but my mom says it's too expensive, and we don't live anywhere near a place suitable for "that type of behavior". I'm 14, by the way...

Update:

I mean, I have a few VERY close friends that I love to death, but they're across the country. I don't "hang out" in person with anyone.

13 Answers

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  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Don't worry, your not a cretin. lol You sound as if you have a beautiful soul. Please don't hurt yourself. I always read life stories like yours and think, what if this person could hear what I hear in their words? I hear a strong beautiful goddess. You are asking for help so you have to be strong to do that. And your obviously a cool persons... you play piano!! Its just the home schooling thats holding you back from friends. Try starting up a conversation with some girls your age when your walking or at the park. If they turn you down, just know that theres something wrong in their life that holds them back from wanting to expand friendship with others.

    Maybe ask your mom if you can have a cat or dog. Something that will always be there for you when you need them. I have a cat and she is my world!! Im 19 and she is turning 5. And we are so much alike. I talk to her all the time. I also have a dog and he couldn't be a better listener.

    I hope you turn away from hurting yourself...

    Love yourself, Keep being strong, and Live life to the fullest!!

    p.s. scientology is a joke and i would be your friend :P

    Source(s): My Heart
  • 10 years ago

    if it's really that bad, call child protection services. whatever you do, do NOT go to anyone in the church for help. do you have any relatives who are not involved in the church that you could confide in? you said you play piano, why don't you start a band? i know you don't go to school, but you could put a flyer up in coffee shops or wherever saying you want to start a band. sound like they are keeping you cut off from outside life. that may border on child abuse. if you are physically and emotionally safe, then just wait it out until you are 18. then move out and get a job and get an apartment. then you can do whatever you want. from what i've read, scientology can ruin families. you know what? **** it. i say call child protective services. you can find their contact info on the web. good luck. please don't try to commit suicide anymore. i promise you in a few years your life will belong to you and only you and you can do whatever you like. you just can't now because it's nearly impossible to live on your own at 14 and make it safely to adulthood. just keep playing the piano. in four years, you'll be 18, you can do anything you want, and you'll be a really talented pianist.

  • 10 years ago

    You may want to talk to the people at http://exscientologykids.com/ and http://www.forum.exscn.net/index.php. Their forum membership is made up of ex-scientologists, independent scientologists, and critics of Scientology, and most of them have been through what you describe, or worse. At the very least they can give you an outsider's perspective yet one that has experience with Scientology.

    Child Protective Services contact info will vary depending on your state, but can easily be found online through Google. Here's some of the organizations, sorted per state: http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist/rl_dsp.cf... And this page has information on how to call it in. http://www.childwelfare.gov/responding/reporting.c...

    Scientology has a very long, very specific history of neglect and abuse, I would primarily suggest that you do NOT get any further into it. And honestly, from the sound of it, you could probably benefit from some good counseling, and they would not be very open to that idea.

  • 10 years ago

    Here's the thing: Scientology is an abusive cult. David Miscavige's DAUGHTER has spoken out against it. There's a web site where you can find a lot of support. The important thing is to be heard NOW, and you're starting to do that.

    http://exscientologykids.com/

    Get in touch with people there. Find people in your area. You'll have friends there. You'll find help and support.

    Your family will not allow you to be in contact. Find places you can go, if things get rough. Make connections NOW for when they disconnect from you so you won't be homeless. They will try to "handle" you, and you need to stay strong. That web site has people who will be strong with you.

    For speaking out, we appreciate you, and we stand with you. I've never been in, and I enjoy seeing people get out of it.

    There is still hope for your family to wake up. It will just take time. For now, take care of you.

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  • 10 years ago

    Wow your life sucks...

    Euhm, to start with:for some reason i don't know if your are a boy or girl... I guess a boy! So i'll be adressing you like that.

    Whatever you do: Don't get kids by accident or on purpose. I am saying that because kids tend to do that in england. Their life sucks, they get pregnant and their life AND their kids' sucks ten times as hard.

    Furthermore: bust out as soon as you can. I sort of know what you feel like by not be able to go out when your parents are not at home, but you have to tray and do that anyway.

    If you don't have a reason: Do it to be a rebel. Start practicing that. There is a big chance your parents don't want you to see you anyway when you step out of scientology so prepare fo that as well.

    Your writing seems to be pretty good so i guess you are not stupid. That is good! Keept it that way. And do that by keeping your brain active and learning.

    I'm sort of autistic myself (not syaing you are) and had LOADS of problems to go out, meet people, or in fact doing anything.

    The only way you are going to be able to come over that fear of going to a class and those sort of things is by ACTUALLY DOING IT!!!

    No other way. Visualising is good, but doing is best.

    So my advise is: Keep your back straight, let them all walk to their scientology hell, learn skills (anything! Woodworking, firebending, whatver, just keep learning!) and pop out as soon as you can. Otherwise that big evil american way of life will make you fat and kill yourself.

    Hang on, cause wisdom comes with the years! (dutch saying!)

    Source(s): My own life, thank you.
  • 10 years ago

    Stop being such a victim. Two unsuccessful suicide attempts in one day is just too over the top. Do you really want to kill yourself or are you just trying to get even with your Mum. It's such a stupid thing to try and kill yourself even before your life begins. Can't you wait a few more years so you can start your own life?

    By the way, I suppose you don't ever yell at your Mum or anything like that. And I do think it's terrible that your mummy won't buy you a motor bike. I guess you'll have to make do with your ipod, computer and piano.

  • 10 years ago

    Woah girl.

    You need to get da PUCK outta der.

    That sounds horrible.

    You need friends, you need a life.

    Especially at this age.

    What I think you should do, stop trying to kill yourself.

    Collect all of your writing, for the next few months.

    keep a diary.

    Maybe you should start pawning some stuff

    save some money and run away!

    Go to a **** load of rainbow gatherings

    experience life. and start living.. now.

    you need to get out of her house, if it makes you suicidal.

    after you have run away, you should become a musician

    and publish a book about all of your experiences.

    you'll be rich and travel. the ened.

    Source(s): im psychic
  • 10 years ago

    You may just have to hang in there. All circumstances are subject to change. Do you have any relatives who might sympathize with your situation and take you in? I can tell you now they are wasting yours and their time on this religion which evidence seems to show that its a financial scam like all the rest.

  • Anonymous
    3 years ago

    1

    Source(s): Expert Advice on Woodworking http://WoodworkingProjects.enle.info/?ySu8
  • Nicole
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    that's easy,you're mom never liked you bf,she was just pretending to

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