I have no friends? Mom hates me? Scientology? Help!?

So I've always had a pretty active and friend/fun-filled life until about 3 years ago when my parent's marriage got horrific. Very terrible, and a a couple years later they divorced. Ever since, I hang out with no one. Except my 53 year old mother, who always screams at me and physically attacks me for... show more So I've always had a pretty active and friend/fun-filled life until about 3 years ago when my parent's marriage got horrific. Very terrible, and a a couple years later they divorced. Ever since, I hang out with no one. Except my 53 year old mother, who always screams at me and physically attacks me for always being in her hair, since I have no friends to hang out with and no classes to go to.

I've already e-mailed the library asking about volunteer work, and I'm waiting for a response. I mean, I'm so tired of sitting around the house ALL DAY. I play piano and write, but I just waste time on my iPod and computer mostly. She's furious with me because I hate our religion, Scientology. I don't want to go because I've had some horrible, horrible experiences there over the years. But she says, "WELL IT DOESN'T STOP ME, YOU LITTLE CRETIN!". I have attempted suicide twice today already, and my life is just terrible.

I wake up at 10, my mom cooks breakfast, I practice piano for an hour or two, she goes to her church from 12:30pm - 6:30pm, and the whole time I waste time on Myspace or playing games. She will NOT let me out of the house when she is gone. That IS NOT an option.

I go for walks in the morning, and sometimes I go to the park for an hour. But I have no friends and my self-esteem is so low because I see all these girls with besties and boyfriends, and here I am, with no one other than my mom. Or occasionally my 21 year old brother, who is a church fanatic. WHAT CAN I DO to be happy again?! I'm so suicidal, and depressed, please help! I'm homeschooled, so I don't meet friends easily. I get sick when I think of taking a class, or going to a club.

I'm interested in motocross but my mom says it's too expensive, and we don't live anywhere near a place suitable for "that type of behavior". I'm 14, by the way...
Update: I mean, I have a few VERY close friends that I love to death, but they're across the country. I don't "hang out" in person with anyone.
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