Newearth asked in 社會及文化語言 · 1 decade ago

問英文功課....關於grammer,句子結構....等等

大家識的話可以教我嗎??我唔識點做...

下面呢5句句子係有錯....要更改...可以係grammer,spelling,句子結構...(可以保持原意成句改),或者字詞太過舊...唔岩呢個年代用都得~~

總之你覺得有咩錯都可以point出黎....

唔該晒各位呀!!!!!!!thanks x 100000000000!!!!!!

(40 marks)

The following items contain errors/possible weaknesses of grammar, word

choice, etc. Please

i point out the errors/weaknesses (two in each item),

ii explain clearly why they are errors/weaknesses, for example, what writing principles are violated, and

iii provide possible corrections/improvements of the errors. (i–iii: no

more than 400 words)

a

We have received your letter of 10 May. The letter is about your

enquiry about our new database, Professional Writer Online.

.

b

As you are an experienced customer of our company, you can

enjoy a discount if you place your order within this month.

c

In view of the fact that he was very busy. The personnel director

interviewed only candidates who had excellent computer skills.

d

Of the inventory and marketing departments, we announced that

only the former will undergo a review this year, while the later will

undergo a review next spring.

e

The engineers collaborated together in order to produce the

uniquely original final outcomes of their research. The report will

be sent tomorrow morning to your office giving details of the

research.

3 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    A

    We have received your letter of 10 May. The letter is about your

    enquiry about our new database, Professional Writer Online

    We have received your letter on 10 May. The letter is about your

    enquiry of our new database, Professional Writer Online.

    1. Not " of 10 May " ,it should be " on 10 May" because an exact date

    must be followed by "on" . " Of" is needed when we read the date

    ----- 10 th of May" .

    2. If a sentence carries two "about" , it will be verbose.

    Furthermore , you should change the latter "about " into "of", so that

    the whole sentence will be fluent. Also, " is about " , in general, is a fixed

    expression. You should not make any changes on it.

    B

    As you are an experienced customer of our company, you can

    enjoy a discount if you place your order within this month.

    As you are a patron of our company, you can enjoy an discount if you

    place your order in this month.

    1. The word "experienced" is confusing in the sentence.When we talk

    about those ( customers) who always buy items in a place, we call

    them " patron".

    2. The word "this" implies a certain time. We should use " in " to explain

    the time.

    C

    In view of the fact that he was very busy. The personnel director

    interviewed only candidates who had excellent computer skills.

    In view of the fact that the personnel director was very busy, he (just)interviewed candidates who had excellent computer skills.

    1. The pronoun " he" should be used after we mention a subject first.

    2. "Only" is redundant in the sentence. We should focus on the

    personnel director , not candidates.

    2010-05-19 14:54:14 補充:

    The last two cannot be shown.

  • 1 decade ago

    唔該晒以上兩位網民...

    其實2個意見都好好....

    不過只可揀一個最佳回答....我揀左第1位...

    thx so muxh...好有幫助

  • Jenkin
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    a.1. I consider "of 10 May" as typing error and if changing to "on 10 May" will mean different things. We've recevied your letter of 10 May refer to the letter was dated 10 May sent by the customer, but changing to We've received your letter on 10 May means we read your letter on 10 May. Unfortunately this is one of the "mistake" if there are two in each question.

    a.2. The letter is about your enquiry ON our new database.

    b.1. As you're a long-term customer of our company.

    "Experienced" cannot be used to describe a customer, only use for skilled worker/professinals.

    b.2. place your order by this month. "within" this month is Chinglish here.

    c.1. In view of the fact that the personnel director was very busy,

    First, "he" is a pronoun, a proper subject must appear first, "the personnel director". Second, this is a conditional clause (i.e. the first part means "because the personal director was busy"), it should not end with a full-stop, it should use a comma.

    c.2. he only interviewed candidates who had...

    "only" refers to the action of interviewing better.

    d.1. while the latter will be ...

    It is "latter" not "later".希望不你上載時串錯字。

    d.2. next Spring.

    Generally, "Spring" being the season will be cap.

    e.1. collaborated xxxxxx

    "collaborate" already work together, redundant meaning.

    e.2. uniquely xxxxx

    "uniquely" = "one of a kind" and "original" = "never been seen before" both have similar in meaning.

    e.3. "final outcomes" do not link up with unique or original too well.

    The engineers collarborated in order to produce the unique outcomes in their research. The report will be sent to your with details (of the research) tomorrow morning.

    這題有太多可以改好的地方,不肯定那樣才是答案,所以重寫給你自己諗吓。

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