How to tell a friend to tone it down without pissing her off.?

Im terrible with stuff like this... whenever I try to get a point across people always get very upset with me and I dont want this to happen again. So a little advice?? for someone (me) who is terrible with voicing my beliefs! Here is my problem. I have a good friend, shes very sweet, soft spoken, kind...and... show more Im terrible with stuff like this... whenever I try to get a point across people always get very upset with me and I dont want this to happen again. So a little advice?? for someone (me) who is terrible with voicing my beliefs!

Here is my problem. I have a good friend, shes very sweet, soft spoken, kind...and THAT is why Im so surprised in her. She is married to a man with a 6.5 year old daughter and although she is pretty nice to the little girl she says terrible things about her mother right in front of her.

The mother, although a little nuts, is a good woman, who I have also known for a long time. She does not butt in to her ex's new marriage and is happily remarried herself. So I dont know why my friendd is even concerned about her enough to talk ****.

examples.
the daughter drew a pic of the family. her, her mom, her dad, her step dad, and step mom. I was there when she showed the picture to her stepmom (my friend). My friend said 'oh thats so good... but one thing isnt right. your mom is way too skinny in this picture. you need to make her but much bigger. you also need to connect her eyebrows'.

little girl isnt allowed to have pictures of her real mom in her room. She explained it to the child this way 'when you are here with us, im your mommy. You can just pretend she doesn't exist. Your mommy is mean so I dont want you to talk about her in front of me ok sweetie?

the little girl is very well behaved so she doesn't really react to this.

My friend blurts these things out in front of me with no shame. I should have said something earlier because it bothers me so much now that I dont even know if i want to be friends with someone so incredibly insensitive.

I just dont get what her problem is. She is SO nice to everyone! if i told anyone else they would think im lying!
So as her friend I want to tell her to cut this crap out and its a really bad idea for her to be speaking like this.

How?
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