How's this for "grassing" your mates up?

A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.

"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, and it's an absolute steal at only £20."

"Why is it so cheap?" the woman asks.

"Well", replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch flowery".

"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot". So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home.

Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at The woman. "F===! .... me, a new brothel and a new madam"..

"I'm not a madam and this is not a brothel," scolds the woman trying not to laugh.

A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home.

"Un-f===king-believable. A new brothel, a new madam, and now two new prostitutes," says the parrot when he sees the daughters.

"Mum, tell your parrot to shut up, we're not prostitutes," complain the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.

A short while later, the woman's husband, Dave, comes home.

"In-f==king-credible, a new brothel, a new madam, new prostitutes, but the same old clients .... How ya doin', Dave?"

Silence......!!!

Update:

Hi all, been very busy reforming mi casa!....got tired of answers so had much needed break...I tried but couldn't keep away!:)))

15 Answers

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  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hi Filya,been working on your new material?You've lost weight.

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  • 4 years ago

    There are over 6 billion humans on our planet. To assume that there is only one that you could have a functional relationship with is a bit naive. If you're lucky, you still find the person appealing after the honeymoon period, and the rest is work to keep that going. A "soul mate" is a nice idea, but i don't think it's at all realistic.

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  • CC
    Lv 7
    10 years ago

    Hola Fila, Tanto tiempo sin verte, bienvenido de nuevo y gracias por la risa esta noche. Me tengo que ir.

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  • ~hels~
    Lv 7
    10 years ago

    Hi Mr Puta,

    good one.

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  • 10 years ago

    Hola Filyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    ¿Que tal hombre?

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Well hullo rer big man. Nice to see you back. My crystal ball says you painted your Casa white, am O right?

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  • Heard it before....

    Have a star for all that typing :)

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  • 10 years ago

    I've heard this before, but great.

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  • 10 years ago

    PMSL!!!!! first class Filya, brilliant.

    Source(s): Oiii, where have you been, and where is your sick note?
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  • Plato
    Lv 6
    10 years ago

    Hi Filya good to see you and that was so funny- thanks for sharing.

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