mary asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 decade ago

I planning my daugter's wedding and the groom starting yelling at me-what to do?

14 Answers

  • Avis B
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well, it is very possible that they (or he) had their own plans and what you want to do and what they (or he) wants to do is just the opposite. Did you put deposits down on items or services without consulting them first?

    Here's a few REAL life wedding examples that I have encountered . .

    Because the Bride was in her last year of college, The Bride's Mother made all the wedding plans because her daughter had other time consuming priorities. The Bride's Mother picked out everything from the church to the color theme to the dinner menu, she even selected the style of tuxedos the Groom, the Fathers, and the Groomsmen were supposed to wear (without consulting the Groom or the Fathers). The Groom was so mad and resentful about all the wedding preparations made without his knowledge or consent, that the day of the wedding he walked down the aisle in bib overalls, a T-shirt, and beat-up sneakers. Needless to say, that gesture sent a clear message to the Bride's Mother.

    The Bride and Groom were both in the military so the Groom's Mother planned their wedding with very little discussion or approval from them. Both the Bride and Groom were so unhappy with the ceremony and reception that his Mother organized and planned that one year later (on their first anniversary) they had another wedding on a tropical island.

    Because the Bride's Mother and Father were paying for their daughter's wedding they thought they had "complete control" of the event. And what was supposed to be a simple chapel wedding and luncheon turned into an extravaganza so the Bride's friends, neighbors, and relatives could be impressed. The Bride and Groom were so upset with all the ornamentation and decorations that they left right after they ate dinner at the reception, they did not even stay to cut the wedding cake.

    Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

  • 1 decade ago

    Sit down with your daughter and the groom and discuss events and arrangements. After all, it's their wedding, and I can only imagine the groom is feeling overwhelmed as the planning is being done by a third party, which would explain his reaction. Nothing personal, probably just a little frustrated.

  • 1 decade ago

    I have never done a wedding but in my personal opinion I would sit them both down and explain that if you are yelled at anymore you will NOT help plan the wedding and they can deal with it on their own. They need to respect the fact that you are trying to help.

    Maybe you need to step back from the situation and ask someone for help if you are overwhelmed. Perhaps you are getting a little snappy from too much work?

    Source(s): my personal thoughts....
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well the question is why did he yell at you? Are you being unreasonable, overstepping boundaries, forcing your tastes on them and making the planning a miserable process? My soon to be MIL did this even though we didn't yell at her or anything. Maybe he just exploded at your behavior. If not, well then I'm sorry for mentioning this and he might have anger problems and yelled at you for no reason. If this is the case I don't know what to to your daughter about it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You need to add details...he may be totally fed up with your "planning"-may feel like you're taking away what should be their day and doing things they simply do not want. He may just be a jerk. Who can tell from what you've written?

    I can tell you this, I've wanted to yell at my FIL a few times. He's doesn't know when he's crossed the line and doesn't know when to just stop already. I don't know anything about your situation, but maybe he just couldn't take you any longer?

  • 1 decade ago

    so ur the new mother in law..... easy answer. STOP what your doing. it takes a lot for a guy to yell at a future mother in law, so the best idea is to stop, take a step back. remember its your daughters wedding and do what your daughter wants. you might be adding things or jumping feet first and your daughter wants you to be happy so she wont say anything, however, the groom feel like your stepping on his toes and everyone elses. so just take a step back and ask questions such as, do you want this? what would you like me to help with? do you want me to pick or would you like to pick?

  • clarry
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Modern weddings have become more stressful that moving house!! All involved get stressed as the big day draws closer.

    You don't really explain what happened though..has he been unhappy with some of your plans?

    You need to find out what's eating him and, if he is upset because he doesn't like some of the plans, try to talk to him logically and listen to his requests..after all it is his big day!!

    There is no excuse for shouting at you and if he is being totally unreasonable, get your daughter to speak to him on your behalf!

  • 4 years ago

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  • M S
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Tell him that when he calms down you will be glad to have a discussion about his

    issues. My husband and mother disagreed over the cake, and they both pouted for days, but there was no yelling. Eventually, my mother got her way as she was paying. 33 years later, he still resents that. O well.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    wow, that is a tough one. What is the problem? Are you being over bearing on the wedding planning? What does your daughter think about the whole thing.?

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