蘆薈讚 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

這樣的英文介紹順暢嗎

自己寫的,不過對自己英文有點沒信心@@

來請益知識+上的各位

Hi everyone!

Nice to meet you,my name is ***

My major is Electronic Engineering.Besides,I’m also interested in learnig language.

The motive of entering this club is I hope I can be helpful to people.

Whenever assisting people,not only to learn how to communicate,but also to improve the skill of language.

In addition to english,I can aslo speak in Japanese,too.

In order to broaden my horizen, I had ever studied abroad like Japan.New zeland…etc during summer vocation.

If there are something I can be useful for club,I will be glad.

Thank you for your attention.

因為是半分鐘內要結束,

這樣似乎有點冗長??

2 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Nice to meet you all ,my name is ***

    我大概會加"all", 很高興見到你們

    My major is Electronic Engineering.Besides,I’m also interested in learnig language.

    besides的用法在這裡有點怪.

    -> My major is Electronic Engineering, but I’m also interested in learnig different (或者new) languages .

    若你很想用besides:

    -> Besides majoring in Eletronic Enginnering, I am also very ineterested in studying about other languages.

    The motive of entering this club is I hope I can be helpful to people.

    motive是沒用錯, 可是感覺太硬太正式, 用reason比較好.

    另外enter也有點怪, 用join比較好. join a club

    enter a club, 很像是進入一個跳舞的地方, 而不是參加一個社團:)

    -> The reason I would like to join this club is so I can become more helpful to other people.

    -> The reason I want to join this club is so I can help more people.

    Whenever assisting people,not only to learn how to communicate,but also to improve the skill of language.

    這裡沒有主詞. 英文不像日文, 句子裡一定至少要用到一次主詞.

    not only ... but also這個句型也要注意喔:)

    -> Whenever I assist people, not only do I learn how to communicate better , but also helps to improve my language skill .

    -> Whenver I assist people, it not only helps me to communicate better, but also helps to improve my language ability.

    In addition to English, I can also speak in Japanese, too.

    also 和 too, 兩個選一個就好了.

    speak Japanese = 會說日文

    speak in Japanese = 會用日文說... (例: I can say apple in Japanese.)

    若是用communicate in Japanese會比較通 -> 意思表示: 用日文溝通

    -> In addition to English, I can also speak Japanese.

    -> In addition to English, I can speak Japanese too.

    In order to broaden my horizen, I had ever studied abroad like Japan.New zeland…etc during summer vocation.

    vacation拼錯了, vocation變成職業了. Horizon也是.

    -> In order to help in broadening my horizon,during my summer vacations, I have studied abroad in Japan and New Zealand.

    -> Studying abroad in Japan, and New Zealand during my summer vacations have helped me broaden my horizon.

    字數限制, 剩下的加在意見裡.

    2010-05-12 02:02:17 補充:

    If there are something I can be useful for club,I will be glad.

    這句我會稍改成:

    -> If there is anything that I can be useful for, Iwould love to help out .

    -> Please let me know if there is anything I can help with, I'd love to lend a helping hand.

    Thank you for your attention.

    -> Thank you就好了:)

    2010-05-12 02:08:02 補充:

    上面不小心把兩個字打在一起了.

    > If there is anything that I can be useful for, Iwould love to help out .

    > If there is anything that I can be useful for, I would love to help out .

    2010-05-12 02:11:40 補充:

    另外, 自介只有30秒的話, 除非你講話很快, 要不然是需要刪掉一點點, 或者把幾句可以合在一起

    Source(s): 從小在國外長大的我
  • mad
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Hi!

    My name is ***

    I am major in Electronic Engineering.

    Language is my interest.

    I want to join the club to help people.

    Through communicate when helping people, I also can improve my language skill.

    I can speak Japanese besides English.

    I take abroad vocational programs during summer vocations, like Japan and New zeland, to broaden my horizon.

    I am glad that I have the chance to be here.

    Thank you!

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