Anonymous asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 10 years ago

Someone please explain how this "girls shld be virgins for marriage, guys shld screw every girl in sight"...?

...thing works?

How does that even make a little bit of sense? I realize not every person thinks like this, but I've spoken to a few that can you simultaneously believe that girls should readily give up sex so guys can have pleasure and at the same time believe that girls should save themselves for marriage so that guys can marry virgins?

A few days ago I posted a question asking how to get a guy who keeps asking me to have sex off of my back, and I got several answers like, "How dare you deprive him of a little pleasure?! I hope you remember him when you're old and no guys show any interest in you."

The thing about having sex with all the girls that you want in the mean time is that it kind of prevents those girls from keeping their virginity that you think they should have on their wedding nights?


I'm not referring to just that single question. I've seen a lot of questions saying girls should remain virgins 'til marriage only to open other questions saying that girls who don't give it up are whores.

Update 2:

Actually, I don't want an "experienced" non-virgin..but you just again completely missed the point. In order for you to become "experienced," you have to take a girl's virginity. If you take a girl's virginity, she can't have it for marriage.

Update 3:

If a man has had many partners, it means that he's a good lover and can please a woman sexually?

Actually, where I come from, it just means he's a horny guy.

12 Answers

  • Jack
    Lv 7
    10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I cannot explain how it works because it does not work. You are correct. Unless these guy are getting experience from prostitutes or whores, some girl is going to have to lose her virginity before marriage. The alternative is for married women to cheat on their husbands.

    It is wrong. The big difference is that a man cannot become pregnant. There is no proof of his wrong doing unless he gets a disease. A woman on the other hand might have proof of her deeds which she cannot hide. It isn't right. It isn't fair. That's the way it is.

    Personally, I do not believe in this double standard. Besides, widows have a right to marry also. They probably aren't virgins either.

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  • Lois
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    All virgins find oral sex disgusting, but anyways. First of all, Congrats on being a virgin still. I was a virgin until I turned 23. I so wished I had waited because it would have been so great to have lost it to my husband, but it didn't happen that way. Think of it like this: your celibacy is like a crucifix to a demon. If a guy wants nothing to do with you, then you didn't need to be with him anyway. I didn't have sex with my husband for months because I did not want to ruin the relationship, and it was the best EVER!!!! So you are doing the right thing.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    The guy who's question you are referring too is a virgin as well :P

    Also it's not that women should be all be virgins lets be honest here in western society most women are not virgins so i don't know where your coming from.

    If you are talking about why there is different views it's simply because the ease of obtaining sex for women is much easier then for men who have to actually work for it.

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  • lex
    Lv 6
    10 years ago

    Simple, don't go out with guys who think it is okay for them to sleep around for twenty years and then aim to marry an 18-year-old virgin. Normal people realize the hypocrisy, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    It is actually a GOOD THING when a man who is not a virgin expresses his wish to marry only a virgin woman, because that is a red flag indicating that he has no sense of justice and that you have to get out of there asap.

    ARTHUR : Who said that girls want EXPERIENCED men ? Perhaps you are just projecting your insecurities, you don't need to worry though. Just meet a girl with whom you are very good friends first.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    It's this thing called a 'double standard'.

    Like how it's ok for a girl to wear jeans and makeup, but a guy can't wear a skirt and makeup without being criticized harshly for it.

    It's simply how our society perceives men and women as being set differently.

    No, it doesn't make sense.

    Yes, It's unfair and really impossible to wrap one's head around how society's collective conscious has thought this crap up that circularly doesn't work..

    Not everyone thinks this way. 'Man-whore' is a word some people use to criticize guys that sleep around..

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  • Star T
    Lv 7
    10 years ago

    Sex is made for married people only. It is something that should be enjoy only with the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. Girls should never be like" a dirty towel where men wipe their hands on." Many youths have further found premarital sex to be bitterly disappointing. The result? Feelings of guilt and diminished self-respect.

    according to Dr. Jay Segal. After studying the sexual activities of 2,436 college students, he concluded: “Dissatisfying and disappointing first [sexual intercourse] experiences exceeded those that were fulfilling and exciting by a ratio of almost two to one. Both males and females recalled that they were greatly disappointed.” Granted, even married couples may sometimes have their difficulties when it comes to sex. But in a marriage, where there is genuine love and commitment, such problems usually can be worked out.

    Some youths feel no guilt whatsoever about having relations, and so they go all out for sensual gratification, seeking sex with a variety of partners. Researcher Robert Sorensen, in his study of teenage sexuality, observed that such youths pay a price for their promiscuity. Sorensen further found that these promiscuous youths reported low “self-confidence and self-esteem.”

    Those engaging in immorality “give to others [their] dignity.”

    Once a couple have had illicit relations, they often look at each other differently. A boy may find that his feelings for the girl are not as intense as before; he may even find her less attractive. A girl, on the other hand, may feel exploited.

    So do not let your guard down, be proud you haven't follow the crowd and give in to immorality. You will find the right guy in time who will respect you and wait until your wedding day.

    Personally, a man who had many partners would scare me away as I would find him repulsive.

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  • 10 years ago

    depends entirely on the guy and the girl......among themselves

    "virginity" may be precious to someone, may not be to some other

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    So sex is about revenge now? Oh that isn't juvenile at ALL.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    I heard this expression on line:

    A key that opens many locks is a master key.

    A lock that opens for many keys is a crappy lock.

    Women want men who other women want.

    Men want women who can commit to only them.

    If a woman has had many partners it suggests she can't be faithful.

    If a man has many partners it suggests that he's a good lover and will please a women


    It all stems from the differences in what men and women want.

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