Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureReligion & Spirituality · 10 years ago

# Hell is explained by a chemistry student. I know it's long, but you'll love it.?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

He got an "A".

**And my question is: Your thoughts?

Relevance
• 10 years ago

That is so awesome, funny and well written. I read it to a room of people and they were ltao.

• 10 years ago

I heard this one in 1996, word for word, but I'm pretty sure it goes back to about the 1970's, if not all the way back to the 1950's (which is when most of the religious pseudo-science nonsense that is spewed today was written). The fact that Christians parrot this kind of nonsense over and over again is ridiculous. It's idiotic nonsense, and it has nothing to do with science. "Hell" doesn't exist. It's an imaginary concept. Spewing this kind of nonsense is not helping science in any way. I was brainwashed with this kind of pseudo-science nonsense as child, so I don't think this is funny at all, it's just plain SAD.

• JStrat
Lv 6
10 years ago

Amusing, but old. And clearly fictional. A university is not going to include a question about "hell" on a test.

• 10 years ago

Witty, but not very substantive. You'd really expect more chemistry in a chemistry paper, I saw a bit of physics, but very little chemistry (unless you count the romance with Theresa) but even that doesn't really count.

• 10 years ago

Not impressed, that story was released two years ago?

What are you? behind the times? Now is the time to come together, hand in hand and prepare for the Ascension of Earth

In case you haven't noticed, there are 200 billion ETs just waiting to come to Earth in this new Aquarian Age, just around the corner!!

• Anonymous
10 years ago

I love that story... it's WAAYYY older than two years.

Some people just need to develop a sense of humour.

~

• Anonymous
10 years ago

I feel that heaven and hell are within us all but we should try to reach our heaven as Jesus and others like him have

• 10 years ago

Old copypasta is very old.