Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 10 years ago

my BF cant MARRY me cuz his MOM wont let him!?

im inlove with my bf and i want a future with him, but his mom (very traditional) wont let him marry me because she already has a girl lined up for him. he said he will try to change her mind, but i broke up with him because i dont think its fair for me to be with him and wait around and then a few months/years down the road he tells me sorry and marries that girl leaving me to start over like a dumb@$$. was i right to leave him or what? im confused and so heart broken :(

Update:

guys shes never met me! she wont meet me! 2 yrs ago he was in a relationship with a girl for FOUR years and he begged to marry her and her mother wouldnt allow it and so he lost his gf of 4 years so easily, THAT is why i dont think it will work out because it didnt for his gf that he was with wayyyyyyyy longer than me. in the end guys, he CANT marry me without his families approval. its allll about family and culture

13 Answers

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  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    yes you have every right to leave. Don't feel guilty one bit. It all comes down to being and making you happy. I highly think and doubt you would be happy with him. It sounds like he is insecure, and is a little Mommy's boy. You have every right, and don't feel sad that you left. It is time for him to grow up, and he needs someone to be stern with him, if not he will think he can get away with it all the time. I never think anyone has to ask to marry someone unless he is under the age of an adult. I do think that love will find you, it is like being blind, it will come to you, when you least expect it.. Good Luck with all this drama from him.

    Source(s): Wow, it is brain waves telling me "no"! Don't feel guilty, dump him and move on sista!
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  • ?
    Lv 5
    10 years ago

    Well it all depends on the situation. Be more specific as to why his mom won't approve of you other than the fact that there's already another girl lined up for him. I can think of a dozen reasons under the sun as to why a parent wouldn't approve of a marriage. The issues of ethnicity, nationality, religion, moral values, cultural differences, etc., are very typical barriers in marriage. Tell us exactly what it was that his mother didn't like in you or about you.

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  • 10 years ago

    well, if you were in love with him you shouldn't have left him. Sure, parents have a huge influence on their childrens lives, but in the end its up to the child on who he or she wants to marry. No parent should ever try to force their kid into an arranged marriage, unless the kid actually wants it. I think you made the wrong desicion, but thats just my opinion. In the end, its really all up to you. There's still that risk that, if you get back together with him, he may leave you. But, think about this. If you two get together again and break up later its better to know that you tried to work things out then spend the rest of your life wondering if you made the right desicion in leaving him because there's always that chance that things may work out with you two being together.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Well, I am not sure what kind of culture you have.

    In some places, the parents control the children and the marriage.

    So I am wondering why your "bf" was ever involved with you at all, if his mother had already picked a woman to be his wife.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    I think you were. He wasnt man enough to stand up to his MOM. I bet he is missing you as much as youre missing him. Give it a few weeks, and if you feel he is the one, call him and tell him you feel strongly. Depending on how receptive he is, the relationship could continue. Worst case, there is a guy who wont be afraid to marry you. Good luck hope i helped :)

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  • 10 years ago

    I can see your side in this, if I were you I would be upset too. But as you know, a relationship is based on trust, and if you can't trust him, it isn't meant to be, now is it? I would talk it out with him and assure him that he will refuse to marry this other girl his mother has in mind if you two are still together. He can't live in his mother's shadow forever, and if he truly loves you, it will conquor and you will have him. Good luck(:

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  • 10 years ago

    you were wrong. to HELL with his mom. he cant be controlled by her but now that uve done this uve given his mom the power she wanted. the only thing you can do now is come crawling back to him and say "sorry... but i want to be 110% sure ur not just gonna leave me a few years down the road and go with that other girl... will you forgive me and promise me that you wont? even if it means f*cking ur mom off and just running away with me." something along the lines of that is the only thing you can do.

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  • 10 years ago

    You were probably right for breaking up with him, there's a high chance in the future that he would break up with you in the future to marry the other girl.

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  • Tammy
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Wow, that's crazy! I think that if he really loved you for who you and everything then it shouldnt matter what his mother thinks. She would get over it sooner or later if he ended up marrying you. But, i think it was best that you broke up with him, hopefully he will come around n realize that its not his mothers life, its his and yours... but, by then hopefully its not too late to get you back...

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  • 10 years ago

    Ain't this from a movie. I sure remember seeing a movie talking this very situation.

    Look if he cannot stand up for you to his mama then you definitely made the right decision.

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