How come people don't understand me and think an arranged marriages are the same thing as an mail order bride?

First off I don't understand people why they think that an arranged marriage is the same thing as an mail order bride. My fiance In Vietnam is chosen by my mother and my auntie in Vietnam and people think that it is the same thing as an mail order bride. My fiance is really nice and she is really beautiful. Some user named Liz told me to go outside and go somewhere and maybe I will meet a real life girl, well that ain't going to happen because i went everywhere and no girls like me. I'm going to go with arranged marriage thing no matter what anyone else says. How come they think an arranged marriage is the same thing as an mail order bride ? It is not the same thing and If you are Vietnamese you would understand this is normal in my culture for guys who can't get a date. Liz called me a loser.

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  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Because they are ignorant. Mail order brides and the agencies that provide them adhere to a completely different idea in regards to the union of two people.

    There is one key difference: arranged marriages are arranged, period. Most of the time, neither party gets much of a choice, though in modern times and certain areas they sometimes get a say. In a traditional arranged marriage, bride and groom often do not even meet until the actual wedding ceremony. I guess more modern practices of arranged marriage is similar to mail order bride services as it involves choice, but then is also similar to blind date and speed dating services.

    For example, there are many agencies in Thailand providing Thai brides for Western men. They are commonly visited by Asian fetishists (something I DO frown upon by the way, I do not like racial fetishism as I equate it with racism). The customer (usually a white man) is presented a selection of ladies and will date several to find who he is compatible with. At the same time, the lady has the absolute right to end a date at any time and not pursue relations any further.

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  • 4 years ago

    It was my understanding that if you have an arranged marriage you are not given a choice to go out and find someone on your own (hence the word arranged; the job is done for you). A mail order bride is like looking at a dress in a catalog and ordering it to be delivered to you without trying it on or knowing if it will fit you. Whereas an arranged marriage means that your family and hers have decided together that you two will marry, therefore the families know each other. Whether or not you meet before marriage is a different story. I think people have issues believing that arranged marriages are right as you are not choosing for yourself and may not be happy with what you get (like in a catalog). In the end it doesn't matter what they think as long as you are happy.

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  • Zeve
    Lv 5
    10 years ago

    Well if she is happy with being in an arranged marriage then I guess is ok, although I cannot see how can someone be happy about marrying someone who they do not love, just to say they are married. Is sad, but hey it happens. The reality is that even thou is perfectly fine in your culture, in our culture that is plain slavery. People should marry each other because they love each other and both pick each other as partners. Neither her mother nor your aunt knows what's best for you two. Only you two know that. However, that is how we see things in our culture, your culture may differ. In the end, there is no right or wrong, there is just, is, a neutral state of being.

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  • 10 years ago

    Well despite the fact that it is part of your cultre do you see this as a good way of meeting a partner? I hope your fiance is happy about this arrangement and that you two are lucky and happy. Liz cannot understand the two differnt processes so I wouldnt worry too much about that.

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  • 10 years ago

    Well im not going to judge you or your culture! Although, my personal belief is that you should marry someone that you love, and i also don't think that you can love her if you haven't met her... (Have you met her?) Anyway, I do hope that you fall in love with your bride-to-be!!!

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Jordan, If you are going to find happiness with your new bride that's all that matters. Good luck to you.

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  • 10 years ago

    Because they are cultural inept. They don't understand other cultures and don't care to learn. They're closed minded people. Ignore them. Congrats on your future marriage!

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  • 10 years ago

    It's not the same thing. Even mail order Brides get to choose. Arranged Marriage is more like Slavery. Duh.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Awwww Mommy had to help get you laid I can't understand how anybody could view you as a loser if your mom has to hook you up.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    It's just as stupid, so what's the difference? Oh so have your Mom and Aunt force you on some unsuspecting girl? how nice I feel sorry for her!

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