I trust my boyfriend but i feel really jealous?
My new boyfriend (2 months) and I get along really great. I trust him and he trusts me and we are very happy together.
The only problem is that he gets texts from his ex girlfriend sometimes. They say things about how she regrets breaking up with him, and it was the biggest mistake she's ever made, that she's still in love with him. Also sometimes she'll ask him to come visit her.
I found out about her because she texted him and i jokingly pretended to be suspicious and ask him who she was. He told me the truth that it was his ex girlfriend, and he was upfront and told me that she sent him these texts and that he told her that he was dating someone else now. I didn't tell him that it made me upset even though it did and I know that he has continued to received similar texts and he ignores them. They still talk as friends about other things.
A couple weeks ago when he spent the night he set his phone alarm. i turned it off when it went off in the morning and noted "wow you have lots of texts!" he asked who they were from and i opened up his text app and saw that she texted him again more about how much she missed/regretted breaking up with him. i didn't say anything at first but it made me so angry. he asked me what was wrong and i told him i saw the text and i was sorry for being nosy. he said that i wasn't being nosy because he asked me to check his texts.
I don't think that he'll leave me for her at all but it makes me jealous that he is receiving that kind of attention from another girl.
I wish i could ask him not to talk to her but I don't want to be controlling. I've had a jealous boyfriend before and I don't want to be like him. I want to treat my boyfriend right and let this go but I just don't think what she is doing is right.
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Good for you for recognizing that you're jealous but that you don't have to act like a psycho girlfriend over it. It is too early in the relationship to be exerting that sort of power (not that those sort of powertrippy mind games are ever really appropriate).
What she is doing isn't right. It's nice and mature of him to attempt to keep his ex girlfriend as a friend but if she can't respect his current girlfriend and their relationship, then she doesn't respect him.
It wouldn't be right of you to make the decision of him not being able to talk to her anymore. However, if he doesn't realize that what she is doing is disrespectful, you could maybe point that out. Let him know that you aren't mad at him and that HE isn't doing anything wrong, but that you don't appreciate her actions. Hopefully he'll follow suit.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
So just do and say nothing. It's for him to deal with, not you.