Firstly, I never judge children, IF I judge anyone (big stress on the if), it would be the parents.
Before I had my son, I found it very easy to judge parents on what I thought they were doing wrong. Parenting is very easy in speculation!
Now, I have a 2 and a half year old (nearly) and I have a very different attitude. I'm also a bit more educated than I used to be and I'm a lot better usually at spotting the difference between children with behavioural disorders and those who just have not been disciplined correctly. I read the blog with interest (what a great eye-opener), and I am fairly certain if I had been behind that woman in the queue, I would have been able to guess that he was autistic, or at least have known that there was something running a little deeper there than lack of discipline. Once upon a time I'd no doubt have been amongst the ignorant eye-rollers, however.
I'm having a really hard time at the moment with my son and we've been judged a LOT. Occasionally things have been said, but almost every time we go out I'll be able to see it in people's faces, eyes rolling, heads shaking. It hurts. I'm not an enormously thick skinned person. This week I was finally told that it's likely he's on the autistic spectrum, or at best that he has ADHD. (I'll just add that I'm from a country where these things aren't overdiagnosed like in other areas of the world, before anybody makes that assumption, it's pretty rare to find here), but it's a long diagnosis process. I hope they're wrong, but it is what it is, and he's seen a number of professionals now who acknowledge that he has a serious behavioural disorder, on top of the fact that he's non-verbal which means he can't communicate and gets even more frustrated. So whether there is a name for it or not, it makes no difference to the fact that he's extremely difficult to handle.
He throws crazy, and I mean crazy, tantrums, he hurts himself in all manner of ways, and others. He had one earlier today while we were out, he was in his pushchair and there was nothing I could do other than walk home as quickly as he could whilst he thrashed and bloodcurdling screamed like he was being murdered. All that started it was me trying to put his shoes back on when he didn't want them on, and he kept on screaming even after I quickly took them off and put them away. On the way, just about everybody who walked past looked at me with utter disgust. I got one look of sympathy, the rest, revulsion. One person came over and asked me if I'd smacked him to cause that. Which I hadn't.
This happens every day, multiple times a day. That one was small fry, it only lasted about half an hour. They can go on for 6, 7, even 8 hours at a time on bad days, and there is just nothing I can do, I try everything.
I'd welcome everyone who judges me to try and do better. See how perfect you are when you're not observing from a safe place.
So to answer your question, I ALWAYS try and remember that there could be something more beneath the surface. I won't lie, there are some times I do get annoyed at people. For example recently in a soft play centre, there was a very chatty 2 year old, great speech, seemed like an entirely normal child, but he hit and bullied children constantly, every 30 seconds I saw him behaving violently, and his mother just sat by watching for well over an hour without saying a word. My son can be violent but when he is, I correct him, I apologise to those involved, and I remove him from that situation. I don't use excuses, and I don't like to see parents letting their little angels get away with blue murder. But, it's not my business at the end of the day. However, generally speaking, I always try and look beyond the situation at hand. Ask myself if there's possibly more to this than meets the eye. You know, even if I see a mother snap and scream at her child, easy to judge, but I ask myself is it possible that she could be so stressed and under so much pressure that she just eventually buckled and snapped? It often is.
People will always judge, and let them. I believe in karma, and maybe one day they'll get there's.