the girl i lust for? or the girl where my heart is?

which do i choose, my sooooo hung up i could be sick. the one where my heart is at ive been with for four years. the other only a few weeks the girl i lust after also has a kid around the same age as mine. the girl im in love with doesnt want a thing to do with me because i def cheated on her with the other chic......

Update:

simple you are amazing

3 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Lust is not the answer. This relationship will die off in a bad way. Having kids the same age should not be a weight as far as the balance of whom would fill the needs of your heart and mind.

    Lust is just that... you can be lustful with the one you love as well. This takes desire and passion. I have no trouble cooking up lust for the one that I love even when times are hard because lust is a controllable emotion. This can be created by choosing the right mood and so on.

    The lustful part of the beginning of every relationship tones down after about a month or two... then you will find out if there is anything there or not. You should never start a relationship based on lustful or sexual needs. A real lasting and fulfilling relationship is built on a whole different level.

    Your mind may tell you that this person is GREAT! but, and I don't say this lightly, when the "crush-lust" phase flattens (and they ALL DO) you will have just someone you slept with...but the one you love, will be in your heart constantly. This is the point where people realize they have made a mistake.

    Don't make the same mistake. Choose the one you love. Lust can be born from the moments you create with that special person. Lust only creates dopamine in the brain (same chemical that get's you high from drugs.... pay special attention to that). Love, can generate the same thing but at a more constant continuous flow but not that heady rush you think love is when it's really just a chemical overload with someone you have not had much experience with.

    Like I said.... lust tapers of in EVERY relationship after the initial beginning. Then you become more comfortable with the person... But, if love was not there to begin with and you love someone else, you made a mistake... pain and simple.

    Go try to win back the heart of the one you love. You can have a more passionate relationship with someone you love, than someone who is just a visual/mental stimulant.

    Best of luck... Hope you learn from this, that cheating is not the answer, you darn near loose every time. Some who have cheated are still with that person of whom they did the deed with, and would choose to disagree.... but at some point, their relationship's end could quicken over the same insecurity that... they have cheated before, they have the potential to do it again.

    You never learn about the real person behind the mask when you move from one person to another. You only find the real personality, when your not jumping onto their bandwagon from another.

    I hope this makes sense to you.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Looks like your stuck with the one you lusted for.

    She sounds like a potential better fit since she also has a kid.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    i'd say pray about it. maybe neither of them are right for you. god can help you make the right decision(:

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.