My pregnant ex wont talk to me?

My ex who is pregnant wont speak to me at all, she is pretty far along and she wants nothing to do with me.

I will admit that I did try to persuade her into having an abortion and I was very hostile with her and was verbally abusive.

It got to the point to where she even contacted a lawyer friend of mine via email to tell me to stop contacting her as I put her under so much stress that she went into labor and had to stay in the hospital for 2 days.

I was angry with her as our relationship ended VERY badly, I got so angry with her I pushed her into the wall and she sent a return slap and she attacked me and ripped my shirt clear off my back, she at the time had no idea she was pregnant. I of course called the cops on her. After the years of being together she had never attacked me like that before, but I guess I had it coming. When she told me she was pregnant I even went to her house and she filed a restraining order against me.

I have gone to anger management to control my temper and work on myself in the last three months

I have tried to contact her nonstop for the last three months through email, friends, my attorney etc.

I want to be there for her and my baby but she ignores me. She has only told me through email that I could go to the doctor appointments and the parenting classes with her, but she does not speak to me before or after the appointments or even during the appointments. I also want to be at the birth of our daughter too!

She doesn't even want child support from me.

I want us to be at least on speaking terms for the sake of our child, how do I get her to speak to me?

I know that I was really wrong for the way I acted in the beginning and I am working on changing and I feel like my child is my reason to change.

Anyone been in my situation!


Misspell! I want to be there for my child and for her, read the question in its entirety. its so wrong for fathers to just run for the hills on both the mother and their child!

8 Answers

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    She's being pretty smart and trying to keep herself safe by not wanting anything to do with you, i'm sorry but i do completely support her decision here. I was in a similar type of relationship, except i was the one who took all the abuse, physically and verbally, however and thankfully i never got pregnant by him. I was scared and it was too the point after we broke up, when ever i went to the mall saw him or his parents there i had to leave and had massive anxiety attacks because of everything he and his family put me through. I'm glad i got rid of him, and i wanted nothing to do with him for the fear of him coming back around, or trying to abuse me again and that's something i didn't need. she probably feels the same way about you, she's afraid and she doesn't want to take the risk of getting hurt again, and with a child on the way, she has to make the decision that she feels will be best for the kid too, and a kid doesn't need a rough environment like that to grow up in, it happens too much. Try and see where she's coming from, and respect her, i understand that you want to be a part of your child's live, but you can't keep pushing things on her, that's what making your ex want to keep you away, try and take things slowly, like buy a baby blanket and send to her, or something else to show here that you do care about the baby and you want to be apart of the kid's life. The child is a good reason to change, however you had a reason to change before that, you had a gf who you was abusing, that should of been a reason enough. good luck with seeing the kid every now and then, but its pretty much pointless to expect to be part of your ex's life, if she's smart, she'll move on and find someone else.

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  • 4 years ago


    Source(s): Powerful Ex Back Tips -
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    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Well, you really did screw up, and if she doesn't want you in the labor and delivery room, that's pretty much that. She's the one giving birth, and she doesn't need the added stress of your presence.

    The best way you can prove that you've changed is to be a good father to your child. You do have rights there, of course, as long as you can keep your temper under control, so if there's any question about your ability to have contact with your daughter, make sure your attorney is working on the issue.

    Otherwise, STOP trying to contact this woman. Instead, make sure your visitation rights are in place, and and be good to your daughter when she is with you. As far as child support is concerned, if your ex won't accept any, open a bank account in trust for your daughter and make regular monthly deposits. Then, if your ex does eventually try to hit you up for the support, the back support money will be there and you'll already be used to setting aside funds for the child. If your ex never asks for it, the money can be used for your daughter's education someday.

    If you demonstrate that you are a good, loving, responsible parent, your ex may come around, but it won't help to keep pounding on her door (I mean that metaphorically). You'll have to work through the child.

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  • 1 decade ago

    She's pregnant. Pregnant women are moody and crazy. She won't always be like that. Especially after the child is born, expect her to be very talkative. If you really want to be in your child's life, you'll stick around. Which you should do. Children don't choose to be born, look around you - There's too many deadbeat fathers out there, and too many single mothers. You don't want to cause another situation like this. Just keep calling, eventually she'll talk. Right now she's probably complaining to all her friends and her friends are probably trying to convince her not to have anything to do with you. Which is perfectly normal. Don't let that stop you from contacting her if you care enough.

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  • 1 decade ago

    She's got a right to be pissed at you, keep trying. She will turn around if you keep trying. You need to prove to her that you will be there and not treat her that way again and that my dear takes time, you cannot force it.

    ~Pro-Choice Momma; Have had an abortion <no regrets> and I have a 15 month old daughter <no regrets>. I believe in protecting my daughter's choice.

    Abortion: There is a Consensus

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  • 1 decade ago

    Look You have hurt this woman and now she carries your child. She doesnt want to talk to you, why should she? Talk about the baby, and dont keep pressing her to talk if she dosent want to. In time she will start talking to you again.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Run for the hills. If she doesn't want anything to do with you, just forget about it. Move on and leave this part of your life behind.

    If you get into things with her again she will suck you dry.

    Get away, fast!

    Source(s): Personal Experience
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  • 1 decade ago

    Move on with your life.

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