Jehovah's Witnesses & Others Who Obey God's Law On Fleeing From Fornication....?

[Anyone who doesn't respect the viewpoint of the ones addressed in the Q title is free to collect 2 points and move on to the next Q. Thank you]

I'd get straight to the point, but I want what I mean to be as clear as possible, so here goes:

There's this concept on college campuses called "being exiled" i.e being asked by your roommate to spend the night elsewhere so s/he can have a member of the opposite sex spend the night in your room. As any "exile" can attest, it is a very inconveniencing practice.

Anyways, Vot has had a room to herself for most of her college years (except for a few months in 2007-2008) so I haven't had to worry about that, and when I DID have a roommate and she wanted her boyfriend to spend a few weeks living in our room and I wouldn't give my permission (Vot's hostel rules require that the roommate agree to the arrangement), she huffed and puffed and moved out of the room.

[Side note: There were plenty of other non-occupied hostel rooms where they could stay together, and NO WAY was I getting exiled by a student in a lower year than I, and especially when I needed my internet connection for answering Qs on Y!A all night long xD. And for all the noise she and her boyfriend made about how "bad" a friend Vot was, now they have a child being cared for by her relatives back home and they don't talk to each other anymore. Anyways, that's a whole other story]

Okay, now to the question *whew*: Something a brother mentioned to Vot in field service made me curious as to what others think on this matter- the one exiled has to go spend the night in another student's room. Now this brother refused to let an exile spend the night in his room because he felt that by so doing, he was (to borrow a phrase from The Tyra Banks Show) "enabling" the fornication.

What are your views on the moral ramifications of hosting an "exile" for the night?


@ Sydney: In reference to this part of your answer: "Okay I thought we weren't supposed to attend college especially live on campus?! How many watchtowers have talked about furthing our education? I understand a tech school for learning a language and furthering the good news but you don't live on campus!"

Those same Watchtowers also mention how it is a *personal* decision to make after weighing the pros and cons, and the reasons for Vot's personal decision are beyond the scope of this question.

Thanks for your answer :-)

Update 2:

Vot is not asking about "leaving" your own room to let your roommate fornicate- Vot is talking about taking in someone for the night who has left *their* room to let *their* roommate fornicate.

Update 3:

((((hugs back))))

Update 4:

Question reported and deleted, now reinstated ^_^

Update 5:

Hahaha Woody- Sorry, but Vot really is not interested in being used as a sperm depository......

btw- when do I get my ice cream?!

16 Answers

  • Rick G
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I would agree with the brother. Why?

    Because if he agreed and it hurt his conscience or he went against his conscience, it would be damaging to him. The danger to him is greater by agreeing than that of the one sleeping on a couch in the lounge area.

    The "exile" wouldn't be harmed by sleeping in a lounge couch, and might make him think that HE should have stood his ground as did my sister VOT.


    And to the ones "questioning" VOT attending college, in those Watchtowers, it is stated to be personal decision that a Christian had to determine for "themselves". You are not a judge of another "member" of the household of God. YOU are not knowing the circumstances that made another's choice a valid one for them.

    Double (((VOT))).

  • 1 decade ago

    in any place, essentially you have to agree, in some form or another, for someone to spend the night. If you didn't make your standards known beforehand, then you essentially told them that it wouldn't be a problem.

    I only mention this, because you seemed to put a lot of emphasis on the fact that your living arrangements require the consent of the roommate to have someone spend the night. I really don't think that this is a necessary piece of information.

    If you leave the room for the night, (the one exception being those few couples who wouldn't have a problem being there or not) you are enabling them to do the act. likewise, (again, except for a few rare situations) if you host an exiled person, you are enabling their enabling of the situation.

    At the same time, though, you have to ask yourself what Christ would do. When Christ told the crowd that it wouldn't be just to stone the prostitute, was He enabling the prostitute to continue to be what she was? Yes, He told her to go and sin no more, but is this really going to get everyone in the same situation to stop? If you are going to do as Christ, then these are very serious questions. If you are going to host someone, you have to make it very clear that you don't approve of what is going on, and that you won't do so again.

    Not so sure what I would do in the same situation. The above are my thoughts, and not necessarily my opinion on the matter.

  • 1 decade ago

    What's that thing about a butterfly flapping its wings in Tokyo ... chaos theory?

    I think each christian should respect the conscience of another, so if a brother thinks that harbouring and "exile" is enabling fornication then HE should not do it; personally, I would only try and control my space and my decisions. You put up a friend that is helping out a girl that is paying her mother that is buying drugs that eventually kills the neighbours dog... do you buy your neighbour a new dog?

    Like Paul said, if we really want to quit mixing with fornicators we have to leave the planet [I am of coure paraphrasing] so while we COULD take the "guilty by association" thing real far if we joined all the dots - you have to be reasonable. Bottom line, I might feel bad putting up an "exile" but I might not, depends on what colour the butterfly was...

    Not much help I know, but I enjoyed writing

    EDIT: Just to clarify, I was referring to harbouring an exile NOT agreeing to become one which (like Vot) I personally absolutely would not agree to do.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hi, Vot,

    Since, as you proved, it isn't really "exile" but voluntary cooperation with the fornication, it seems to me that you'd be enabling it, either from one end of the process or the other, wouldn't you? I think you certainly did the right thing--they were just huffing and puffing because you wouldn't let them push you around, which is pretty conceited and totally self-centered on their part, if you want my honest opinion.

    Glad to see someone else loves ice cream as much as I do!

    Best regards,


    Source(s): common sense and a lifelong love of ice cream.
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  • 1 decade ago

    He said "enabled" as if the folks that were getting together - and the person who left - should share the same moral values as him.

    If one has a problem with fornication, fine, but that definitely shouldn't extend to turning people away that are sexiled by their roommates- Especially when the alternative for the sexilee is to sleep on a lounge couch.

    Like someone mentioned, one could put their foot down, but the behavior would continue elsewhere anyway- all one would accomplish in refusing to accommodate an amorous roommate's love interest is introducing tension into the relationship between themselves and their roommate.

    Now, the case in which I do agree with you, and with several of the below posters, is when the sexiled person sees fornication as wrong AND his roommate also claims to see such behavior as morally reprehensible.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hi Sis, I think this is right around the same thing as knowing one of the friends has committed a gross sin and you say nothing. It isn't always popular to stand up for what's right, in fact, sometimes it's downright hard, especially in this morally corrupt world, but I see where that brother was coming from. By leaving you ARE allowing fornication to take place, which implies approval, whereas if your put your foot down and say NO, then the offenders would be forced to go elsewhere, or it would force them to not have sex.

    At least that's how I see it. :)

  • 1 decade ago

    yeah...okay I thought we weren't supposed to attend college especially live on campus?! How many watchtowers have talked about furthing our education? I understand a tech school for learning a language and furthering the good news but you don't live on campus!

    To get to your question- yes I believe you would be "enabling" the situation. It would be the same if a parent said yes you can have sex in my house with someone your not married to. They're encouraging it and not sticking up for what is right in Jah's eyes and laws.

  • Jake
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Ha! NO ONE exiled me during my college years so that they could have sex. It went against my religious morals, and obviously, choosing to abstain myself, the "favor" would have never been returned. Yeah, my roommates didn't like it, but eventually learned to live with it. They'd usually end up going to the girl's place.


  • Tyler
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I would say that if the exile choose to leave then yes it would be enabling. However, if the non-exile was going to fornicate regardless of if the exile stayed or not and the exile left so he would not have to witness this sin then I probably would house them. Also another reason on my list that I'd rather not go to college.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hosting an "exile" is a form of agreement with the arrangement, IMHO. It's saying "it's okay to forgo your own moral code and encourage immorality" if it's going to inconvenience someone. Pfui on that! Tell the "exile" to get a spine and either refuse to allow the situation or lose a good night's sleep because of his/her cowardice.

    Source(s): I (((Vot)))
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