My 17 year old son is gay? that my son not be present at the reunion?

I have a big family problem and it has left most if not all my family members upset with my husband and I. I have a son who is 17 years old he just came out and told us that he is gay. My husband and I along with our other children are happy for him and will love him no matter what. So I was to host our annual family reunion this summer but comments were made to me about my son being gay that I didn’t like. They made the demand that my son not be present at the house when we have the reunion. So my husband and I along with our children talked about this and all decided just to go on vacation during the time I was to host the reunion. Now I’m getting all sorts of mean phone calls, nasty e-mails from my family. They claim not know what they did was wrong, because they are deeply religious. I don’t know what to do? My relationship is over with my family. I was not going to put my son out to make them happy.

17 Answers

  • 10 years ago
    Best Answer

    I would just tell them "If my son is not welcome, then this obviously is not a family reunion, because if it were he would welcomed with open arms like any member of the family. And since you are putting bigotry over your own family, I do not see the need to attend the reunion"

    Seriously, I applaud you for standing up for your son. I wish more gay youth had parents like you.

  • 10 years ago

    Well I am happy you love your son and you care about his feelings and are not putting your other family member's beliefs before your son's feelings.

    I don't believe you did anything wrong. If you don't feel comfortable having the whole family at YOUR house and belittling your son than that is understandable. Don't let them say anything that'll get to your. Let them know that you love them but you love your son too and right now he is going through a hard time and he needs his mother.

    I know this isn't an easy time for you either, just be strong and try not to care what your family says. Get ruthless if you have to. If they say any smart remarks, throw something else in their face. They won't like it and chances are they'll be quiet really quick. I know you probably don't want to treat your family like that but that way they learn how it feels.

    I have a cousin too who is religious (were catholic, he's christian) and he gets very preachy and there are times when he say something about me being less of a man and what-not (they don't know I'm bi) but my mom tells him. She reminds him of how he was when he was young.

    Bottom line. The most you can do is ignore what they say for now. Chances are they'l come around. You really have to act like you don't care at all what they have to say anymore. Take this time you'll be on vacation to let your son know that no matter what they say that you're there for him. If he has anything else to tell you how he feels, now would be a good time to let him know you're listening.

    Good luck with everything, I hope everything will turn out fine.

  • 4 years ago

    He Probably is ! but isnt ready to tell you. He is only 17! A lot of kids have supportive parents and still don't tell, not that they don't want to, more that it's a little uncomfortable. You should talk to him if you feel comfortable with it. I can't give you the question to ask because that has to come from your own mind since you know your son better than anyone. The signs are there and obviously you see and feel it. Saying things about how you are supportive of "LGBT" around him might not work. Your best bet is to just be blunt and ask in your own way if Not then Everyone has their own date when They feel they can "come out" and you can always wait it out. Keep us updated :)

  • J.DOT
    Lv 4
    10 years ago

    You are a great mother for standing up for your son!

    Tell them that if your son is not welcome to your reunion, then tell them that you and your whole family would not turn up unless they learn to accept that your son is gay and that there is nothing wrong with him. Explain to them that he is still your son and that you love him in every way and no matter what because he came from you and that you've seen him grow up and know what he's gone through in his life. Tell them that if they can never accept him, tell them that they are not doing a great job being a family because a family will always support one another.

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  • 10 years ago

    I DEF agree with you being gay is nothing to be ashamed of! And so if your family can not see that then I sugest that you do go on that vacation and have nothing to do with this reunion because a ffamilyis not a family of the judge one an another.

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Yes, You are right as a mother to have stand up for your son, im 17, and i am straight and i know of friends who's family has left there son on their own or discredited them because of his sexuality, one family even as went so far as taking their last names off their son. You have an undying love for you son, and i see that you have accepted him with your whole heart, do what is right and support your son, show him your motherly love and dont astray from him, he is still 17 and has only begun to experience life. And you made the right choice of not putting your son out just for you family. If you are Christian, tell your family that if they are true Christians, WHY are they condemning your son, when Christians are supposed to accept other people, love them as we love ourselves, and do unto them as we would like to be treated ourselves. Tell them Christians do not act in this way, Jesus didnt come to condemn gays, he came to save us all and preach a word of Peace, love, compassion and acceptance.

    Pray to God for guidance and follow you heart. And if that means taking a vacation and loosing contact with your family, then yes. You have accepted your son, and thats the gift he will cherish, that is the acceptance of him by you.

    Pray to God for strength and for those who condemn you, but you are a mother who loves her son, and that is all you need, your family

    God Bless

    Source(s): My best friend is gay, his mother didnt accept this and he was living in the streets. He did drugs, and sold himself to earn a living, he was overcome with grief from being discredited until our Local Catholic priest put him into a foster care. I visited and we remained string friends. He later became string, and was offered a Job as a cleaner. He went back to school, completed yr 12 ( im from Australia and we have programs for youths who are on the streets run by the Catholic Priests and Nuns and other people) and is now doing a phd in Law, Medical Science and Theology.
  • DavoJo
    Lv 6
    10 years ago

    I think you did the right thing.

    I don't see any reason to have any sense of duty to people who would treat your own son - their family - like that. Do they not care how this affects not only him but the rest of the family as well?

  • 10 years ago

    If I were you...I would tell my family "If you really are religious people...accept the child for who he is...and he's only 17...he still has a long way to go..." and you can't possibly correct a wrong with another wrong,right?

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    I would carry on as you are you love your son, at times like this you find out who your friends are.

    True friends like you what ever you are and are worth their wight in gold. leave the rest to get on with their own lives. Do not go down to their Level.

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    well if they're religious then you could mention the fact god made man and if it wasn't eccepted then he wouldn't have made LGB in the 1st place. i think you are being brilliant for sticking up for your son, this may be hard but also if they're not eccepting your son then they're not your family, if they wanted to be family or if they loved you , partner, son, etc then they would eccept it.

    sorry if this didn't help much

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