if my girlfriend talks to other guys do i have the right to be mad?
its a guy i dont like i hate when she talks to guys it pisses me off bcuz i dont talk to girls. they were her friends from freshman year but she doesnt go to the same school as me either. do i have the right to be mad?
the thing is we dont go to the same school and i dont LIKE these guys
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Listen bro, did you ever have a time in your life when you were a kid and your parents told you that you weren't allowed to do something such as see rated R movies, play with matches? When they restricted you from doing something you probably felt (like most normal people) the urge to do it!
People want what they can't have, especially something that is forbidden.
By you showing to your gf that her seeing this guy gets you upset is only going to make it more fun for her to do it.The more she shouldn't be seeing him the more she is going to want to. So, YES, you have the right to be mad, you have a gut feeling that something fishy is going on, and you want to protect a girl whom you've invested time in, so its only normal that you are mad.
This might sound crazy, but the solution is to bahave indifferent, don't mention anything negative about him, don't ask about him, or tell her not to chill with him. If you ask her ''so what did you do today'' and she responds '' I chilled with (the guy)'' you respond by asking ''oh pretty cool...change subject''.
This my friend is the solution, anything esle will only make you look like an obsessive jealous bf,and insecure because you think he's got something you don't. But since you are confident that you can get her and girls better than her you shouldn't get to you too much.
- AvaLv 71 decade ago
well, its not like she cant say hi how's life these days once in a while, but generally speaking its not approriate to be close friends with the opposite sex while in a serious relationship. I totally understand how you feel and I can really relate (I am the jealous type and have dealt with these same issues), but its just a question where do you draw the line between what is being overly jealous and controlling, and what is truly inappropriate for her to be doing. She can casually talk with other guys, but she should really keep it to a minimum. Generally speaking though, until you're married, you guys dont actually belong to eachother. once you're married she doesnt really have any business being friends with other guys that you yourself are not also equally friends with. She shouldnt be emailing other guys unless the email is including both of you or from both of you, and shouldnt text or chat with other guys much. I mean theses plenty of girls out there, she doesnt have to be all buddy buddy with the guys. The truth is its just not appropriate... because when we spend too much time around the opposite sex, accidents happen, because we are only human. you are jealous because you understand this, its only logical for those guys to start liking her, or for flirting to happen, or for her to decide that she likes them better than you, its only a matter of time really. temptation is a real threat to us, and we have to stay away from it as much as we can, its called being smart.
however, you cant just go up to her and tell her never to speak with other men again. that would be controlling her. you can control your own actions though. you can tell her how her actions make you feel, and then tell her what you will do with yourself depending on what she does. for instance: "It makes me really uncomfortable to know how much time you spend talking with those other guys. I don't want to have to leave you, but I can't keep feeling like this forever, I don't know what I should do."
but let me just add, if you look at porn (not saying you do, I just know a lot of guys do), you don't have a right to be mad at her for talking with other guys, because lusting after women even just in your mind, is cheating, that's way worse.
- 4 years ago
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- Little PrincessLv 71 decade ago
You have a right to get mad if the telephone rings. You have a right to get mad if a commercial comes on the television. You have a right to get mad if birds are chirping. You have a right to get mad at just about anything. So, yes, you have a right to get mad if your gf talks to other guys.
How much and to whom your significant other communicates with is one of those things that you kind of negotiate between yourselves. If it's something you don't like, then talk to her about it. If you're able to come to an agreement on who and how often she's allowed to communicate with other guys, then that's great. If you're not, then at least one of you will be unhappy and you need to give serious consideration to breaking things off. Because if you can't come to an agreement on something like this, things are only going to get worse.
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- Janet BLv 41 decade ago
Look, get over it! She is just talking to her friends. Don't be a jealous fool or you will lose her. You would have a right to be angry if she was flirting with them. But if she's just talking, that's not flirting. It appears that she has known them for longer than she knows you. Besides, you are young and will probably meet other girls. And please don't make enemies of her friends. You never know when one of these friends might be able to help you. I would make friends with her friends so you would have something in common. They can't be bad, after all she has them as friends and so could you, if you're not jealous.
- 1 decade ago
She's a free person and trying to restrict who she can and cannot speak to is controlling behaviour. It's a sign that you are insecure and don't trust your partner to remain faithful to you. If there is an explanation for why you're so insecure (perhaps cheated on in the past) then you need to deal with those issues. If she's intentionally trying to make you jelous, warn her and then leave if the behaviour continues. Simples.
- 1 decade ago
sorry but i dont think u have a right to be mad cuz u wont the only guy in her life and i dont mean romantically i mean generally as in she will have a bunch of guy friends u cant control her life and u just have to trust her like she trusts you. think of it in reverse, would u want her to be jealous just cuz ur talking to a girl?
- 1 decade ago
Absolutely not. Distrust leads to paranoia which leads to over-control. I made this mistake once too many and every time it has lead to nothing but disaster. I have no advice on how to not let it piss you off but don't get mad at her for having guy friends!Source(s): Personal experience
- 1 decade ago
not even! keep it up and she's gunna dump ur sorry a**. you need to realize she doesn't get the same feelings towards those guys she talks to that u get when u talk to girls. their her friends too, and if she's a good person they might as well have vaginas in her mind. if i was her i would've dumped u the first time u confronted me about ur anger in this way. ur obviously lucky to have her so u better loosen up and treat her right.
- 1 decade ago
no you dont have the right to be mad. she has guy friends just like you have girls that are friends