How To Stop being Timid And Shy Around Girls?
Hello Girls Im here to get your opinions on what should i do about this i find it to be a problem that doesnt allow me to live my life the way i want to live it... im 23 and all my life i been living staring at 4 walls inside my house due to many different reasons... never really gone out to experience life... due to that fact i've always been timid and shy, nervous around girls i turn red and look down cant seem to make eye contact when a cute girl is near me or looks at me... i used to be overweight (not drastically) but now i lost weight and im normal but im NOT muscular with a 6 pack or anything like that also my hands sweat so im not confident about myself with details like being with a girl or simple things like holding hands... i've nevet been with anyone or even gone out to a club with friends bc honestly i have none. This isnt the life i want to live but i find it hard to get out of this circle i get hit on in myspace constantly by girls that look like models and they wanna meet me since i am actually pretty good looking i guess.. but my shyness stops me from meeting them and now im letting many opportunities go bc of my problem. What can i do or how did yall stop being timid etc? thx in advance for the answers
Well recently i been talking to this girl which stares at me and smiles problem is she is shy too i can tell so i have to be the one to ask the questions and act like the experience one when in fact i suck at it lol... im not that shy i guess after all but i still lack the skills to talk and make sure she slowly likes me bc the way i talk with her it makes it seem like im just another friendly person...
- Nels NLv 710 years agoBest Answer
The answer is simple and complex at the same time. In order to stop being nervous, don't worry about what happens and just do it. That's all there is to it.
Lets break that down a little bit. Don't worry about what happens. Do you have problems talking to a female cashier at the mall or female relatives? Probably not. You may not be smooth and witty, but you can communicate. You can talk to them because you know the interaction isn't "going somewhere". In a similar way, if you're not trying to get somewhere with a girl, you can relax and enjoy just talking. Stop trying to sweep the girl off her feet long enough to learn to interact with women in a fun way. Once you learn this skill, the only thing that remains is learning to recognize when they're into you.
Secondly, just do it. You can't develop social skills sitting at a computer keyboard. You have to do it in person. (Chat or IM however, is a good way to slow things down while you learn how to interact in-person.) Learn to joke with girls and not take things too seriously. Serious gets boring quickly. You WILL run into situations that get uncomfortable or where things fall flat. That's a part of the growing process. Just don't be a major jerk, and everything is fine. You can be a little bit of a jerk, and everything is still OK.
One thing that I've heard that helps is going up to 100 girls at, say, the mall and saying, "I really want to get over my fear of meeting people so I decided to come up and say Hi". Listen to her response, then say "thank you for your time." If she asks a question or something you can answer, but the idea is to show yourself that approaching women is something that you CAN do, and that most women are very friendly. In the off chance that you meet one or two women who are genuinely rude, it is legitimately their problem. You'll also learn that you'll live through it just fine. For most guys who try this "exercise", they find that the first girl is palm sweating heart racing scary. The next couple girls is pretty scarry too. The next ten or so cause nerves, and by the time you get to girls 90-100 you're almost running up to anyone to get the last numbers you need to complete your challenge. If you have motivation problems, have a friend go with you, and give him $200 to give back to you $2 per approach. If you live in a small town and are afraid that people will see you again, go to a near by larger city.
The references below will likely help you at your level. If you honestly are part of the very small percentage of the population that are terrified of any talking to girls, you may have a medical condition that needs professional help. If this is the case, there is no shame in getting help.Source(s): "The Mystery Method" by Eric "Mystery" VonMarkovic e-book at www.doubleyourdating.com
- 10 years ago
Well, I'm not an expert, by any means. But I can TRY to help. (: First thing depends on what kind of girls you go for. I mean, if you're looking for someone that's just 'hot' or however you want to put it... it's going to be A LOT harder to find someone. So hopefully you're not a shallow guy. And I just want to point out that not all girls go for a guy with a 6-pack. My boyfriend works out, and I don't even like that he does because I don't want him to be super muscular or anything. lol But anyway, there are nice girls out there who like shy guys. You just have to get out and meet them. And just to make a point... you don't have to go to a club or bar to meet them. The nice ones that want a long-lasting relationship are elsewhere. (If that's what you're looking for anyway.) The girls that want to meet you online that supposedly look like 'models' just want to meet you for sex. Just taking a wild guess. But I'll say there just as bad as most guys out there that are looking for women just for sex. So just be careful... hopefully you don't want that. You just have to be yourself and not worry. Any girl that likes you for that is who is most important. (: Just get out there! Good luck!! (: