What is the best choice for an unwanted child?

I have a serious issue and I know I caused it upon myself. I am not blaming anyone but myself and my partner. I do not blame the child and that is why I could not feel right about abortion.

The situation is I'm 6 months pregnant, due in June with my third son. After my divorce, quite frankly I got lonely and hooked up with a friend. The hookup turned out to be a big mistake since it resulted in a very unplanned pregnancy shortly after the birth of my second (he will be 1.5 years old when this child is born).

Problem, I am single and able to take care of me and my two children but not anymore or anything else. Me and the father of the unborn child are not getting along anymore. I want to give the child up for adoption and he wants his family to take care of it. I know where I am at and I know I could not possibly take care of 3 children on my own, financially or emotionally. I know that it will be near impossible to take 2 babies to the grocery store, to go get diapers, to go anywhere. I cannot carry 2 children!

What do I do?

Option #1 Still try to go through with the adoption. Which would take going through court to prove he was an unfit father (money for a lawyer and time away from work).

Option #2 Give up my parental rights and custody to the father (he wants full custody).

Option #3 Suck it up, rely on an immature irresponsible man to help me when I need it and take of 3 children, which is not in the best interest of my other 2 children

10 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you know you are unable to care for this child and his father is capable and willing then let him have custody. In the future you may decide you want a relationship with this child and if he is adopted by strangers that will not be an option. However, child support will be an issue.

  • Liz
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    If this person is truly unfit and would be unable to take care of the baby, then you can try to force his hand somehow into relinquishing parental rights, which would give you the ability to put your baby up for adoption without his consent or fear of him trying to reclaim the child at a later date.

    If you're just angry that things aren't working out with him, then you need to objectively analyze the situation and just accept that this person would be better for your child than a family of strangers. However, don't give up your parental rights if you don't have to. You can make him draw up a legal agreement where you don't pay child support. This allows you to retain some custody so you can see your baby and gives you room to change your mind down the road.

    Personally, I would just keep the third child. It's harder on you as a single parent, but I can't imagine that giving up a baby is an easy thing to do if you already have other children. I wouldn't make any decisions on the issue until you explored all your options at the very least. :(

    Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    How is he an unfit father? There is nothing in here about that that means #1 is out. If he wants full custody and you don't want the baby, let him. It is not fair for you to take a baby away from a man who is the father and wants that baby. Just like it wouldn't be fair for someone to take your baby away that you want. Basically, suck it up and get joint custody, or give up your rights and let him raise his son.

  • 1 decade ago

    You don't want the child, he does.

    I don't see what the problem is here, option #2 seems quite obviously the best choice to me.

    Keep in mind though, that he could still take you to court for child support even if he receives full custody and you give up all your parental rights (for which you'll need to go to court anyway).

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's funny that you think you would be doing what is in the best interest of the OTHER 2 CHILDREN, by giving up their brother ?!?!

    You all ready have 2 kids .....three isn't much hard to take care of.

    If you want to do what in the best interest of your children then love all three of them. If you give your children's brother away it will come back to bit you in the A$$.

    As they get older the will start asking questions.........how are you going to explain to them that their brother was Big Mistake And you didn't want him ? How will that make them feel ? How will that make you feel ?

    Stop being selfish and think actually think about your kids.....this is their brother that you are talking about and your son.

    You sound like a strong woman ..........so man up and take care of your kids... ALL OF THEM !

    Option #3 it is in the best interest of your other children

    MCL

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Why give the baby away to a stranger when it has a parent willing to step up and raise it? Unless the father is an unfit parent, let him raise this child. At least you'll be able to maintain a relationship that way.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Option 1 is completely unreasonable if the father wants to care for his child.

    That said, it's only impossible if you want it to be. You can't carry two children? Then get a pushchair and a sling. How on earth do you think people bring up twins?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Option #4: Give it to the Pope.

  • 1 decade ago

    Give him to the father, if you think he can care for the baby then let him.

    Hopefully you'll learn from this.

  • Fifi
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    your 6 months gone, if u have an abortion, you will have to deliver the unwanted fetus and just so you know the fetus will feel the pain.

    however i understand u have other two children, if this guy can actually make a good father and his family is able to raise the child, they have the right to this child.

    this a tough one, i'm sorry.

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