Hey, I am from Louisiana and we don't shoot missionaries here! We shoot possum and gators here. We take real good care of our missionaries and feed them chicken gumbo and pecan pie! Hasn't anyone ever told you this is part of the Bible belt? If you do not like missionaries, don't come to Louisiana! Besides, I think you are confusing us with Texas? In Texas it is legal to shoot someone who tries to break into your car or home. It is not legal to shoot someone just because they knock on your door in Louisiana or Texas. Missionaries are a BIG no no in both of these states, in any case! They have an express line to the death penalty for those who shoot missionaries in Texas! (They would consider it a waste of taxpayer money to keep you around too long in prison. Turnover on death row is faster in Texas than in most states!)Um, I wouldn't go to Texas either if I were you! In fact, you should stay out of the south completely.
Oh, did I tell you that we do not even bother to prosecute people that shoot missionaries here in Louisiana? To save taxpayer money, we take them down to the Atchafalaya River and use them for gator bait by tying them to a stump! Gators are happy and trappers swear by it! How is that for some Cajun style "justice", iron fist? Pretty creative on saving the taxpayer some money too...huh? Good ol Louisiana boys down here don't mess around.
Me and my kin who were born on the bayou!
P.S. Try using a better deodorant (commercial grade) so that missionaries cannot track you too easily. Also, a bath would not hurt!