Does this sentence make sense?

It's actually a paragraph, but I would love it if someone could make it stronger. How can I fix repetition at the end? The swirling fog at the peak of the Northern Mountains seemed to get thicker during the moments it took for Max to step out from the tent. The night had silenced the morning with its blanket... show more It's actually a paragraph, but I would love it if someone could make it stronger. How can I fix repetition at the end?
The swirling fog at the peak of the Northern Mountains seemed to get thicker during the moments it took for Max to step out from the tent. The night had silenced the morning with its blanket of snow now covering the tents. Everything was silence, except for the rumbling noises of gears and metal from the nearby factory. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the smell of burning cedar from the factory.
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