How do you deal with a porn addict?
My husband would rather look at porn and mb. We fight all the time about this. Our sex life sucks. We never have sex and when we do he feels like he's in another world. Would you stay? Have any of you dealt w/ this in your relationship. When I talk about this issue he becomes irate and refuses to talk about this. I have asked him to stop but he hasn't. Again if it's not a problem why can't he stop. Again if our sex life was great and we were intimate then maybe this wouldn't be an issue. What is your experience if any.
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
First have Him to Please Realize that Porn Destroys, See How it has destroyed the Lives of those who were involved in the Industry as seen in this Video
By far, the most searched for terms on the internet are related to pornography. Pornography is rampant in the world today. Perhaps more than anything else, Satan has succeeded in twisting and perverting sex. He has taken what is good and right (loving sex between a husband and wife) and replaced it with lust, pornography, adultery, rape, and homosexuality. Pornography can be the first step on a very slippery slope of ever-increasing wickedness and immorality (Romans 6:19). The addictive nature of pornography is well documented. Just as a drug user must consume greater and more powerful quantities of drugs to achieve the same “high,” pornography drags a person deeper and deeper into hard-core sexual addictions and ungodly desires.
The three main categories of sin are the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (1 John 2:16). Pornography definitely causes us to lust after flesh, and it is undeniably a lust of the eyes. Pornography definitely does not qualify as one of the things we are to think about, according to Philippians 4:8. Pornography is addictive (1 Corinthians 6:12; 2 Peter 2:19), and destructive (Proverbs 6:25-28; Ezekiel 20:30; Ephesians 4:19). Lusting after other people in our minds, which is the essence of pornography, is offensive to God (Matthew 5:28). When habitual devotion to pornography characterizes a person’s life, it demonstrates the person is not saved (1 Corinthians 6:9).
For those involved in pornography, God can and will give the victory. Are you involved with pornography and desire freedom from it? Here are some steps to victory: 1) Confess your sin to God (1 John 1:9). 2) Ask God to cleanse, renew, and transform your mind (Romans 12:2). 3) Ask God to fill your mind with Philippians 4:8. 4) Learn to possess your body in holiness (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4). 5) Understand the proper meaning of sex and rely on your spouse alone to meet that need (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). 6) Realize that if you walk in the Spirit, you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Galatians 5:16). 7) Take practical steps to reduce your exposure to graphic images. Install pornography blockers on your computer, limit television and video usage, and find another Christian who will pray for you and help keep you accountable.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
You deal with a porn addict as you would any other addict. If they won't seek help then there is nothing you can do other than leave. Any addict has to be shown there is a problem and that it affect others. Pornography is one of the most challenging addictions to overcome. Unlike other addictions, this one is in the mind to stay. All that he's seen or experienced is etched into his mind and it'll take ALOT of work to overcome it. It's a daily challenge and choice. It's purely a selfish act and can lead to more serious activities. Like any addiction, you're always looking for something harder to give you that first "rush", which will never be attained. Believe me, he is just not looking at porno, he's having affairs either on the internet or in person. He's in denial and doesn't see the harm.
There is help but he has to want it. If not, then there's no use. I suggest eliminating the internet if it is a problem. Having a discussion if at all possible and tell him if he doesn't seek help then you're gone. Which you've already done I see.
As for you, you need to make a decision and stick to it. But if you stay, it'll be very hard to trust again.
My opinion is to leave and find a man who loves you for you. Best of luck to you.Source(s): been there, done that, and is overcoming through daily good choices.
- HoneyLv 61 decade ago
Are you kidding me?? What the hell is wrong with you people? Preferring to beat off while watching porn rather having sex does not suggest an addiction. Your husband isn't porn addicted, he isn't interested in having sex with you. Plain and simple. My husband and I both watch porn on a more than regular basis, both together and alone. We enjoy masturbating. The porn assists with it. We aren't sitting there on a Saturday night, watching porn the same way we would be watching Saturday Night Live. That, would suggest a porn addiction. He has no problem, he just chooses to watch it and telling you he'll stop when he knows he doesn't want and/or intend to, is a stall tactic. He becomes irate because he's tired of you nagging him about it.
Realistically speaking, if I wasn't happy with my sex life and porn was one of the ways I could get off, and my spouse asked me to stop watching porn, that would be the same as my spouse saying "I know you enjoy porn but I want you to not watch it, appease me, and settle with an unsatisfactory sex life." If all you're doing is asking him to stop, without recognizing that in the current state of your sex life he has no other outlet, you're asking him to be bitter and constantly irritated. Have you ever dealt with someone who was backed up and needed sex? They're extremely bitchy.
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- BelleLv 51 decade ago
Porn addicts have a psychological problem. If anything, I'd get him some kind of professional help to cope with his addiction. If that doesn't work, then an alternate plan needs to take course.
My husband used to always want to watch porn thinking it would spice up our sex life. So I agreed to start watching it. It did spice up our life, but since I agreed that it was nice he used that as an excuse to watch it more.
Bottom line is, if he doesn't get help soon, then he could lose a lot of things dear to him.Source(s): Personal experience.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I would only stay if he recognized and admitted he had a serious problem and was willing to work very hard on it via counseling and I would have to see major effort on his part. If your husband can't stop or even if he WON'T stop simply because he knows what a negative effect it's having on his marriage and his wife, he has a big, big problem.
- freedom fLv 41 decade ago
The other person that wrote is wrong........Anyone can change....
But the key is he is addicted........So now you have to find out what is he addicted to..........AND YES YOUR SEX LIFE SUCKS B/C HE IS DOING THAT AND IS A FANTASY LAND......
DID YOUR SEX LIFE SUCK BEFORE ALL THIS STARTED? IF SO THAT COULD BE THE REASON HE TURNED TO THAT INSTEAD OF CHEATING ETC....
THE CORE TO OVERCOMING PORN ADDICTION IS FIGURING OUT WHY IS SOMEONE LOOKING AT IT IF THEY HAVE A WONDERFUL AND SEXY PERSON THEY WANT RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF HIM...
- Anonymous5 years ago
I have found the solution, so that is what I tell people. However, I can't go into further detail as I am prevented by yahoo to give repeated responses to the same basic question that people ask
- Anonymous1 decade ago
you can install NetDog Porn Filter : http://www.netdogsoft.com/ on the computer, netdog blocks all porn quitely and automatically in the background when your your husband's on the computer.
- life coachLv 71 decade ago
He is an addict who prefers fantasy to fact. He isn't going to change. You should leave him. Doubtful it will get better. Not your fault.