How to be less shy around girls....?

I am 19 and in college. I just joined a fraturnity and it seems that the only thing that matters is how many times you can have sex with girls. My issue is I get very shy and awkward for some reason whenever i go to parties and what not, i think it is because i am a virgin still.... i am close with many attractive girls but i feel that i am looked at as a friend and simply just as "cute". Any advice?

11 Answers

  • 10 years ago
    Best Answer

    Believe me sex is not as important as people say. When you get older and are married, sex happens less and less. Don't think you have to have sex and keep up with the Jones so to speak.

    Also, being a virgin is not so bad. I have a son who is 23 and still a virgin. I am very proud of him for waiting. Being a virgin and shy are not related. I am 50, been having sex since I was 12 and I have always been shy to this day.

    The best way is:

    1) Be yourself, not what everybody else wants you to be

    2) Focus on your studies, that is more important for your future

    3) Love (Lifetime) is so much more satisfying than sex (That Night)

    4) Just say Hi and introduce yourself ( If they don't want to talk to you, they weren't worth it )

    5) Have fun, that's what life is all about!

    Good luck, Don't worry - Be happy

  • 10 years ago

    First off, you shouldn't be too concerned about tossing away your virginity. I'm not saying that because it's the romantic dream of any woman to have a virgin male, thinking he's pure, so on and so forth.

    And secondly, the best thing you can do is to show some confidencece. I know, that sounds lame, but it's the number one attention getter of a woman. At first, you may have to force it, but it'll come natural to you once you realize that it works. You may not get all the women, but eventually talking to them will go a lot smoother.

    Source(s): Personal experience.
  • 4 years ago

    Here, let me tell you a factual story so you will get over your fears... What you are experiencing is natural. Our bodies have micro-evolved to feel this way, over time. Back in the tribal days, we NEEDED this feeling of hesitation and fear before approaching a girl. You know why? Back then, if a guy who isn't a tribal leader or 1 of his close friends approaches a girl, and that girl is the tribal leader or his friends girl.... guess what? That guy will be jumped by a few dudes who bash his head in with a rock! So yeah, that is about 25% of the fear- approaching the wrong girl. The other 75% of the fear is much larger, and im telling you, you can sense this fear today if you concentrate... this fear is, the fear that rejection is permanent. BACK THEN, it was! In the tribal days, if you flirted with a girl and she rejected you, that MIGHT have been it! Or if you made out wrong, or f*cked her wrong, that was it! She told ALLLL of her friends who were other girls, and none of them wanted you now! And since tribes were small and only consisted of about 30-50 people, if you weren't getting laid by them, then hell you werent getting laid by anybody! So your genes would be unforgivingly weeded out of existence, if your approach does not work out well enough, or she rejects you, or you mess up somewhere along the relationship. ================================ In today's world, neither of these fears are plausible. Sure, you can approach a guy who is a neo-nazi ex-navy seal serial killer in disguise, who would rip you apart. But the chance of any girl telling her guy about a guy hitting on her is small, and the chance of that guy being one of the few dudes who would actually KILL a guy for flirting wiht his girl? VERY VERY SMALL. As for the other fear? It's understandable in a closed environment such as a school, sort of. But in a club or something? How many of those girls are you ever even going to see again? THE FEAR OF FAILURE IS OBSOLETE IN A WORLD WITH 3.5 BILLION WOMEN, AND THE MEANS TO TRAVEL TO ANY COUNTRY OR CONTINENT, TO ANY NEW PLACE, WITH NEW SETS OF WOMEN. STARTING OVER IS EASY AND FAST.

  • 10 years ago

    We all have this problem at one time or another. How to begin a relationship, how to make the first "move", how to establish a relationship, and so forth. Many women have the same concerns. So recognize that women are as concerned as you about relationships. Start out by asking a girl to join you for lunch or dinner. Look at how she is reacting. Is she friendly and interested in you or more interested in herself. If she's interested in you and lets you know it, then make your move. If she doesn't seem to be paying much attention to you and is focusing on herself, dump her. Believe me, in most cases she is as concerned and nervous as you about beginning a relationship. Acknowledge that and accept it. You'll be fine.

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  • 10 years ago

    I don't think it would be a good idea to use women for sport (collecting them for sex, etc).

    However, if you want to feel less shy around girls... then simply be around girls more often. The less "foreign" they seem, the more comfortable you will become.

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    fraternity stuff is not good, should not joint that

    Go to these sites, you find some tips about relationship that might help you. Good luck!

  • 10 years ago

    that's a good thing your saving yourself. because i am im your age to the thing that keeps me going is my relationship with god. and secondly catching something wouldn't be to good either.

  • 10 years ago

    They let virgins into fraternitys now???? Get drunk, it's called liquid confidence.

  • 10 years ago

    tell them your a virgin. they will want to defile you. trust me. tell them your a virgin who's looking to lose the status. hahhahaha unless you a good guy who wants to wait until they find the one. then just talk to them and be yourself.

  • 10 years ago

    well just cuz they all about sex dosnt mean u have to be lolz unless u wanna b all about that

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