Okay, here we go!
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Never having to look to the future to keep yourself going. I never want to have a job where I'm constantly thinking of going home, or a partner who leaves me wanting someone else, or a group of friends who I feel strictly obligated to but who's company I don't enjoy. I never want to stop dreaming, but I would also like to be able to look back on the dreams I've accomplished and smile, and I'll never settle. I'll always be dreaming and planning and looking towards the future while never forgetting the present. That's happiness.
What is your greatest fear?
Right now? Failing my Anatomy and Physiology II midterm. :) But seriously? My biggest fear is always being afraid, and I know that sounds like a bad Hallmark card, but what I mean is this; I have spent months, years of my life living in fear of so many things, and my biggest fear is that I never come out of that fear long enough to live and accomplish.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My inconsistency. Not in friendship of my future plans (my career choice has never faltered), but in everyday things. For example, exercise. I did yoga, but got bored. Now I've decided to take up running, and I know I've got maybe a month before I stop that too. That annoys me about myself.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Intolerance, closed-mindedness, and quick judgment, and I don't necessarily mean in the broader terms of things such as gay marriage or racism. I cannot stand it when people rush to judge everyone, everything, when it's not their place or their concern. For example, a few weeks ago I was at dinner with my parents and grandparents. They literally spent half an hour complaining about how the table next to us "ordered too much wine". Half an hour! Finally, I got so frustrated that I shouted, a little too loudly, "What do you care if they drink wine?! They're adults, they can do whatever they want!" They got mad, but I felt liberated because that kind of quick, unnecessary judgment gets under my skin very deeply.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Maya Angelou, humbly and with the complete understanding I nowhere near match her. First of all, she took a severe childhood sexual trauma and turned it into positivity, hope, much the way I'm learning to now. She made it far and never gave up who she wanted to be most and what she knew was right, and she's still inspiring. I guess she's who I want to be, not who I currently Identify with.
What is your greatest extravagance?
As in, what I indulge in most? TV, in massive amounts.
What is your current state of mind?
Positivity, "This Too Shall Pass", with just a hint of sheer academic horror thrown in. :)
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
I would like to say outward beauty, but I don't think that's what I fully believe. The most overrated virtue?Contentment. I believe in constantly being happy with you're life, but never, ever settling. Never stop growing, or you stop living. Never stop learning, or you'll cease growing. It's a cycle, never stop working towards something.
What is your favorite journey?
Life journey? The journey of learning that it's okay to have a past, even when it's not the best, and it's okay to have regrets about who you once were, as long as you don't live in those regrets or stop moving foward because of your past. That's the journey I'm enduring now, and it's bringing me to peace.
On what occasion do you lie?
I'll be honest (hey, that's ironic!) and admit that, unfortunetaly, I tend to be a compulsive liar. I don't lie about anything big, rather small things. for example, if someone asks me if I've seen a certain movie or read a certain book, I'll often say "yes" even though I haven't. I'm trying to curb that.
What do you dislike about your appearance?
I sometimes get self conscious about my weight. At 5'3" and 140 pounds, I'm not overweight, but I do sometimes feel like it when compared to many other people my age. That doesn't mean I don't feel sexy or wear fitting clothes, it just means I sometimes need a good compliment to pick me up.
Which living person do you most despise?
Right now? My ex-minister? :) No, but generally, Osama Bin Laden, not only because he killed thousands of innocent people, but because he instilled sheer fear in an entire nation, indeed almost an entire world. I despise him for that.
Which living person do you most admire?
Inpersonally, India.Arie, Michelle and Barack Obama, and my biggest hero, Hill Harper. Personally, my parents, sister, and good friends. But the people who I admire most are not famous nor close to me. I admire most the man who helps an old woman with her groceries or the nurse who drops everything to help in Haiti. I admire and am inspired by those everyday small acts and the people who do them more than anyone else.
What is your favorite color and flower?
Orange for its brightness and unapologetic loudness, and paper whites because they are so beautiful when they finally blossom.
Which words or phrases do you dislike?
I dislike words and phrases that are misused, i.e. saying "gay" to mean stupid or "sick" to mean cool. I can't keep up, and some are just downright insulting.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I say "like" so much I annoy myself, and I tend to overuse a few select large words whenever I first learn what they mean. :)
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Kindness, and I'll say it again, kindness. I don't care if he's ugly, sloppy, stupid, whatever. My dealbreaker is unkindness. Be kind to me, as well as the waitress, and you have my vote. And passion. Passion about a job or a hobby or belief.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
The same, with an added one; strength. Women had to fight to make it far, but we still submit too often. Strength, in words and wisdom as well as body, is most important.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
The love of my life is not and will never be a person. The love of my life is that rush you get when you help someone and you know it. You get it when you give someone directions or help someone with their work, and I'm learning what it's like to get it when you help someone back to health, help a mother through her pregnancy, or even, sometimes, save a life. I'm in love with that feeling, and should I fall in love with a man in the future, the biggest love of my life will still be that feeling.
When and where were you happiest?
Anywhere and everywhere, but you can always tell when I am at my happiest. I've been known to stop, even mid sentence, stare at something, and just smile for a few seconds. Those are the moments when I'm at peace and when I'm truly happy.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I wish I was more open to finding romantic love in a person. At this point in my life, I'm too wounded, but I'm also just a love skeptic! I wish I was that hidden romantic sometimes because, even though love is blind (and nothing but an oxytocin rush from the brain), I hear it's also great.
If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
Like I said before, their judgement.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I would love to have the grace of a dancer. Never going to happen, which is fine with me because I don't quite understand the art of dance, but I would love to be able to prance through the house on my toes and shine on a dancefloor. Oh well.
What do you consider to be your greatest achievement?
I'm proud of myself for starting college and choosing to pursue nursing when I did, but not just academically. It took overcoming the past and growing up to a certain (big) extent.
If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
A person still, a woman, but with a different life, a different culture, and a different family, possibly from a different era. Not because I don't fit in with mine, but because I'm all for variety! :)
What is your most treasured possession?
Untangiable? My mind, which is both my best friend and my worst enemy. Either way, it's my most valuable asset. And tangeable? My blankie, and old, tattered blanket I've had literally since the day I was born that has been with me through everything and that I still clutch to at night.
Who are your heroes in real life?
My parents, my sister, my godfather, my good friend Melissa, and my baby girl ("part time daughter"), Alicia.
Who do you consider to be a genius?
Quentin Tarantino. The man thinks with a mind all his own, a mind I don't think anyone has ever even come close to experiencing. It shows in his work, his films, but just listen to the guy talk! He's a genius!
What is your greatest regret?
The person I was in seventh grade. For reasons complicated to explain, I was so frustrated with life that I was defiant to athority figures and my parents, and was a bully. I hate that part of me, but it was a necessary part of getting to who I am now.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
The inability to be alone with yourself and your thoughts. There are people who constantly have to be with other people, if not just talking to them. I fear that's often because they are afraid of being alone with their own thoughts, and that, to me, seems like the worst kind of misery.
Where would you like to live?
You know of my desire to spend some time in Italy, but that's fulfilling a dream, not setting a permanent home. So want to hear something really, really strange? (I w