17 & pregnant.HELP!NEED ADVICE!?

I'm about 14 wks pregnant.not done with high school.my bf wants it but doesn't have a good paid job(plus he pays childsupport already 4 sum1else)hes also working on a 2nd job.my mom says its a sin to abort the child.& my dad says I should do what's best 4 me.I saw the ultraound n I feel bad,since it has a heartbeat& it moves around a lot.I trying to find a job,I've appliedEVERYWHERE around my area.& have not recieved any feedback at all.my dream as a career is to become an emergency room physician or a psychologist.how can I bring this child into the world w/o my own house or education?& it will b harder to babysit & work on my career.its not about me anymore its about the baby.but I'm not ready, I'm scared & I'm not done growing up.I know its not the babys fault but everyone is getting frustrated with me bcuz I'm lost.my insurance isn't covering this either.Im going to apply for some med I cal thing.so yea.& I love my bf but idk if I wanna b with him 4EVER!!plz give me helpful advice with wise choices..(adoption is out of the question)

14 Answers

  • 10 years ago
    Best Answer

    Right now you're in a tough position, but you can get through this.

    It sounds like you really so not want to abort, but you feel like you do not have a choice. Please remember, there are ALWAYS choices. It's hard to remove yourself from the situation so you can take an unbiased look, since you are the one going through this.

    Speaking form personal experience (I had my first at 16), I can tell you that it's not easy but it can be done. You just have to work a little harder. You absolutely can finish high school as well as college...even without the help of the biological father.

    There are government programs out there which can help you get on your feet. If you're in the US, you can get on medicaid which will cover ALL costs associated with pregnancy and birth. You can also receive food stamps which will help you out some too. They even provide free daycare so you can work or continue your education (or both).

    It's just a matter of learning how to juggle things in your life. No matter what age you are, parenting is tough...but not impossible. You'll fall into a routine before you know it. From the sound of it, your mother wants to help you. Allow her to do so.

    Plus, if you get enrolled with these programs through the state, you will be able to get on your feet. You can work part time (or full time) and take online classes to get your basics out of the way. You CAN do this.

    I truely wish you luck. I know how hard it is, and how alone you feel. Please remember though that abortion is permanent and may haunt you for the rest of your life. It can also be dangerous as complications are fairly common and can result in infertility which would prevent you from having children later in life.

    Take some time to yourself and think long and hard about what this. Sometimes when life kicks us in the butt, we get down and only see the negative. Try to remember the positive. This is a beautiful, helpless baby that wouldn't otherwise exists without you. He or she is comforted be you and will love you no matter what mistakes you make.

    Good luck..

    Source(s): mother of 4 (number 5 on the way)
  • 10 years ago

    There are three options when having a child, having the child and raising it, adoption, and abortion (which i don't support personally).

    Since you have opted not to put the baby up for adoption or have a abortion, there is only one choice left.

    Second, personally, i think you are living in a fantasy world, you may love your boyfriend and "wanna b with him 4EVER!!" but your boyfriend has already proven himself irresponsible (by having his SECOND child without a good job or any means to support it). The economy is rough and PLENTY of people (adults, with good educations) are having trouble finding jobs, that's just life. When it's your own child, it's NOT babysitting, it's being a PARENT, a risk that you KNEW was a possibility when you had sex, regardless of the fact if you were ready or not, now it's happened. People are probably getting frustrated with you because you didn't use your head and chose to have sex (with a irresponsible person at that). Insurance doesn't cover everything, and that's just ONE of the expenses your going to have to worry about with a child (not to mention diapers, clothes, food, etc) at least the next EIGHTEEN years, god forbid your child also becomes a young mother/father (which children born to young mothers have a higher risk of) because then you (like your parents now) will be responsible for supporting your child and there child.

    Frankly, the best advice, is GROW UP, and if your bf doesn't take responsibility for this child (which is a possibility) I would take him to court for child support. He AND you made this baby you BOTH need to be responsible for it.

  • 10 years ago

    If you need free counseling while you are making your decision (they respect your decision whatever it is): http://www.yourbackline.org

    Trained consultants are available 24/7 to listen to your concerns and to answer your questions about pregnancy, abortion and related issues. Our consultants will connect you to nearby pregnancy centers that offer the following services:

    * Free pregnancy tests and pregnancy information

    * Abortion and Morning-After Pill information, including procedures and risks

    * Medical services, including STD tests,

    early ultrasounds and pregnancy


    Info if you need it . . . .

    If you go to a Planned Parenthood clinic that has a low-income program it can be as cheap as 100$. If you tells them you have no job, no money and no support they will likely have you pay the minimum for the procedure and get donations to cover the rest. 1-800-230-PLAN (1-800-230-7526) to find the Planned Parenthood clinic nearest you. If you are underage it will mostly likely be free and it's always confidential.

    You have the choice between the pill (which can be taken up to 11weeks, at home or at a friends house) or the vacuum method (in clinic procedure). Personally I used the pill method so I could be at home with my husband but some women want to have the surgical, so it's done and over with when they leave the clinic.

    You will be financially screened - usually this goes on the honor system, weight/height taken, blood pressure checked, pricked -fingertip- to check for rH factor and anemia, you will receive an ultrasound or sonogram to determine gestational age. You may be asked if you want to view the image, this is up to you. You will receive antibiotics, anti-nausea tabs and pain meds. Take them ALL. You must finish at the very least your course of antibiotics. Follow all aftercare instructions and go back to your after care appt. This last step is vital, you must go back for your aftercare appt! Abortion begins a new menstrual cycle. You should have a regular period in 4 to 8 weeks.you should have the option of receiving birth control - again this will most likely be free, take it and use it correctly.

    If you are underage you may want to check this site out to see about parental consent laws and whatnot. http://www.sexetc.org/state *Even if it says you need parental consent, you don't. Call PP and tell them you cannot tell your parents; by law, a judicial bypass must be available to those minors who just cannot get their parents/guardians permission. A judge signs the parental consent acting as a de facto guardian. Abortion funding http://www.nnaf.org/help.html

    Some state medicaid program do pay for it, use this link and figure out if your state covers it. If they do, you can go to "welfare" office and get emergency coverage and the state and taxes will help pay for it. http://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book/companion.a...

    If you have any more questions or want/need to talk about it drop me an email.

    It is entirely possible to have an abortion and not feel guilt because you knew it was the right thing to do.


    ~Pro-Choice Momma; Have had an abortion <no regrets> and I have a 14 month old daughter <no regrets>. I believe in protecting my daughter's choice.

    Abortion: There is a Consensus


    Youtube thumbnail

    Ps - Good luck, no matter what you choose.

  • 4 years ago

    Life is too important to take seriously. You can successfully do any one important thing at a time you want to with your life, don't count on being able to do two. Whatever you do, do your best, even if its just collecting the trash. Protect yourself. There is always some idiot saying he wants 110%. Remember, 100% should get you a Congressional Medal of Honor, posthumously. College is only useful if you know what you want to get out of it. Money? OK. Knowledge? Connections? Understanding? OK. But if you are just there because you are drifting without goal or purpose but to keep your parents happy or because society expects it, you are wasting your time and your lifetime is all you've got. Take a year or ten off and think about what you want to do. See the world, it'll come to you.

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  • 10 years ago

    If you get an abortion it is something that you are going to have to deal with for the rest of your life. You should either decide to keep the baby or put it up for adoption. There are so many people out there that cannot have kids. It is not okay to kill a baby just because you do not want it. If you were responsible enough to have sex then you should be responsible enought to have a baby.

  • 10 years ago

    Why is adoption out of the question!? Many people can't have babies and would love a family of their own. You said it yourself that you don't want the baby, but it shouldn't be aborted because it wasn't the babies fault. I think the best option here is adoption. Be open minded. You did after all be open minded to having unprotected sex. Think of whats best for the baby. Is killing it the right thing to do?

  • 10 years ago

    How Big is the Baby at Fourteen Weeks Pregnant?

    Your baby is 3.4 inches long by pregnancy week 14, and likely weighs close to 1.5 ounces! Every day of your pregnancy week by week, your baby is growing more and more proportional.

    By pregnancy 14 weeks, your baby's body is growing quite rapidly. His length is catching up with his slightly larger head. The ears have started their move to the sides of the head, and the eyes continue to get closer and closer together.

    During pregnancy week 14, your baby's neck will elongate, and the chin will start to rise up off the chest. Your baby's reflexes will also continue to develop this week. By now, your baby should be receiving his or her nutrition directly from the placenta. Remember that everything you put into your body can cross the placental wall and impact your baby. This includes not only things you eat such as food preservatives, but also things that may come into contact with your skin, such as house sprays or other cleaning agents. Remember that lotions penetrate the skin, so why wouldn't household cleaners? At this time more than any other time in your life, it is important that you make safe and healthy choices with regard to your health and well being.

    Anything you eat or inhale could directly or indirectly affect your baby. Eating a healthy diet is vital to the well being of your child. Avoiding alcohol during pregnancy as well as avoiding certain foods is important to ensure a happy, healthy environment for your unborn baby. If you are smoking during your pregnancy, please stop now.

    Sweetie, I got pregnant at 17 (30 now) and went on to have a happy life! Sure, it did not work out with the dad but we are still very close and he sees my daughter weekly/regularly. I went on to get educated, have a successful career, and am happily married. I am sure it is hard where you are at to look at your life and be overwhelmed by dear – this is just the BEGINNIG of your life! Stop thinking that just because you have a baby now your life will not be where you want it to be. It will!

    Please do not have an abortion. Please. That is killing !!!!!

    Check out an abortion and aborted babies on -


  • 10 years ago

    Please don't get an abortion. And please don't give up on yourself.

    If you keep the baby:

    You can either work on money now and go to college in a few years...

    Or you can make the baby your number 1 priority and your dream career

    But otherwise: tons of couples can't have children and some die trying. The best option here is to let someone adopt it.

    You said you want what is best for your baby.

    If you think he or she would live better with you, keep it.

    But if you think it would be best for him or her to be adopted, then go for adoption.

    Source(s): I tried not to favor. But adoption is the best choice because you'd know that they were better off in a very loving family and wouldn't have to struggle with you.
  • 10 years ago

    Well have the baby, raise it and be the best mother you can be to that child! Like you said its not the baby's fault! Yes, abortion is a sin! If it has a heartbeat, its a living being! In my book, that's

    considered murder! Well good luck!

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Keep it hopefully your family or friends can help, u can sort out your house and everything else later the main thing is your relationship and your baby x Its is best to sort out a job after the baby is born and ask people to help you out for a while then pay them back x

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