Is it still cheating?
My partner of 1 year is still on a social network site he changed his profile from in a relationship to single and now has very beautiful contacts before he had normal looking contacts Im on the same site and thought I would go and have a look at his profile when I seen single he tells me that he tells the women that he is in a relationship and I trusted that till I went to one of his friends site and saw an image of love hearts and flowers it said if I was naked right now what would you do. I now have some doubts most of his lady friends have there page's closed and one who say's she knew him from his past wants to meet him again she is suppose to be married but her husband has cancer im worried that she liked him all those years ago and thinks he is still signal and even tho he told me about it im just not sure I was thinking about been nice about it and sending her a message and introduce myself to her and over time let her know that im his de facto but worried this could come back on me in a bad way. He is a wonderful man treats better then any man has ever treated me he is to good to lose im 48 years old I was thinking about setting up a very temp fake profile and give him some bait and see's if he bites and tells me that he is in a relationship but I know that fake profils is illegal but I just want to see what he say's to me thinking I was some one eles I need help and advice from this is he cheating on me help please..
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Hello, and sorry to hear that. I am 23 years old and it is coming from someone much younger than you, but I would consider that cheating. To me the definition of cheating is when someone is being unfaithful to their significant other. Others may say that cheating is only when they take action upon it and physically get involved with someone else, but I beg the differ.
The society today, which I believe has changed very much is taking these types of matter into poor consideration. If you were to set up a fake account and see if he "bites" the bait, what would you do after you catch him? I ask this because if you are not going to do anything different, then why set him up to hurt yourself? He will most likely find some other sneaky way to deceive you in the future. If he does get caught and you decide to leave him, then that is a different story.
On the other hand if you find out that he has been telling the truth and he finds out that the fake account was you, what will you do? You will lose his utmost respect which he had for you. Whichever road you decide to take I hope that it is in your best interest and it will be the best route which you could have taken. Good luck and stay strong!
- cbmedicLv 41 decade ago
First off if you can not trust the person that you are with, then you have no relationship. he is looking for another woman as he can not commit. He wants his cake and eat it to. You on the other hand are also still on the social network as well. If this guy means so much to you, then why can't you commit? It doesn't matter if you say your in a relationship, your still networking yourself, just in case. You don't have a relationship because neither of you can commit. Its time to move on, or accept that you both are always gonna keep looking for others. At 48 seems you would have learned by now that the grass is not always greener.
- 1 decade ago
No, and yes. Right now all you have is a lot of speculation. Just cause there are 'beautiful contacts' doesn't mean for one thing that any of them are real or that he is interested. All guys like to 'look' most girls too and that doesn't mean he cares about you any less. The whole in a relationship thing though... ask him to change it because it would give you some piece of mind? Are you not his friend on this networking site? if you aren't even his friend on there so you can see his profile... then yes you have something to worry about. Also did you mean HE had put the comment up about being naked or a girl did? If it's the girl.. you can't blame him for his 'inbox' so to speak he has no control over what others send to him and this girl might have sent it to everyone just cause it was funny or whatever. However if he sent it... that's different. You can blame him for his own actions. If he loves you and is proud to have you then it shouldn't be a big request to change his status and not put sexual comments up. Especially if you can explain in a calm rational way that even though it's little it hurts you. (don't let him flip this either to oh you don't trust me blah blah) changing a few words on facebook or myspace or whatever should be easy for him to do.
You can send her a message don't probe, don't interrogate. Something simple saying hello and that you've heard a lot about her from your boyfriend. Good thing would be for you to 'beat them to the punch' so to speak. Invite the girl and her husband over for dinner. That way you are extending the olive branch and saying you are level headed enough to deal with this. And you are including all of you in the plans so they don't set up something one on one where you might feel anxious or jealous.
Don't make a fake profile. Don't try to trap him. Stop looking for reasons to be upset with him. I'm not saying be ignorant but don't look for faults. If he treats you well and you believe he really loves you. A few little flirtations here and there shouldn't matter.
My favorite relationship saying... what are you hoping to accomplish. You need to make sure you know this first.
If you set up some fake account and be like sexually overt towards him and he bites.. what are you going to do? Confront him? Break up with him? All of those things can only really end badly. Because if you don't break up with him you have started something you can never really repair in your relationship. When you say oh I did this and I saw what you wrote etc he will take it as you not trusting him. He will also believe you have violated his privacy and in a way you will have. And he may leave you for something like that. It's a very manipulative thing to do and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a person like that.
If you want to stay with your boyfriend think about these things.. would you want to be with someone who was constantly paranoid and checking up on you? Would you want to be with someoen who is actively looking for faults in you?
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Honestly if he is in a relationship with you it should say in a relationship...not single! My husband and I have a strict rule with those social networking things. Friends and family ONLY. we aren't lookinh for new people to talk to and we know everyone on each others pages. Honesty is the best policy. Just tell him how you feel and what you saw. if he doesn't seem to be being honest than go with your gut.
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- DJLv 71 decade ago
Of course he treats you well! He knows that is what it takes to keep you available to him. You sound co-dependent.
You don't need to set up a fake page. You already know what he's doing. Stop defending him and walk away--no big hissy fit or drama, text messages, phone calls, emails, emotional good byes or closure. Just gracefully bow out of the relationship and don't allow him charm you back--because he'll try that, you know.
Living alone is far better than being made a fool by someone who says he loves you.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I would be worried too by his actions , any man who claims he is single on a site when he is in a relationship is doing something wrong, i can't say for sure he is but he is well on the way to cheating
- RoadRunnerLv 51 decade ago
Posting your single is cheating especially if your talking to other woman. Dump him and move on. go out with your girlfriend the right will come around when the time is right!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
don't go through the trouble. i can't stand women snooping around looking for 1,000,000 clues. either take the man the way he is or accept he's not for you and move on. don't put off the inevitable forever. you already know you're not comfortable here, move on
- Anonymous1 decade ago
My opinion is that there is no succesful relationship that can possibly survive social networking sites. SOCIAL NETWORKING. Ugh.
- IndyGirlLv 71 decade ago
"Social Networking" sites = more trouble than they are worth... 100% of the time.
Get off it.
Just to answer your Q:
He would do this to you WITH or WITHOUT Facebook, or whatever it is he is using to check-out other women.